Hubby is home from Germany. Bought me a great sweatshirt, size large, and it's too large! That's okay because I like sweatshirts roomy, and it's not *that* large. Can't trust the sizing, though, as it is from a foreign country.
He came in, had some dinner, visited quite a bit, then fell fast asleep. He looked more tired than I think I have ever seen him. With a seven-hour time difference, and flying all day/night/whatever, it took its toll.
One question he asked me: How many exercise DVDs did I buy. I played dumb. Then he asked my son how many times the UPS and Fed Ex truck stopped at our house. It didn't!
I, however, will *never* tell how many exercise videos I bought while he was gone. The man knows me too well--because I did buy some. That's all I'm saying. I traded for some, too.
This afternoon it was in the 80s. I had a weird moment of brain freeze/fog. I was mad at myself for donating my size 18 capris. I was just certain that my one pair of jeans is a size 18. I kept thinking I'd be in a smaller size by now but it didn't work out and so I was frustrated I am without any capris.
D'oh! When I took my sweats off and was putting on my jeans, I saw my jeans are a size 16. I just think it's weird that I got off track with my size. I do it all the time with my weight, too--transpose the numbers.
Scale is moving down, yay. I've been great back on plan the way I am supposed to be. Didn't workout yesterday or today due to pain--it comes and goes and I should learn to workout when there is no pain, but I couldn't do it today as DS had a doctor appointment. Tomorrow I'll hit it when I feel good.
With that, I shall close. I heard the hubby moving around, so I think I'll go visit.
4.01.2010
3.30.2010
Feeling Better
Not physically, but mentally. Lots better. That's a good thing. Thank you for all your support!
I just wanted to point out that my husband was not mad, he was upset--sad or disappointed. I don't blame him one bit. I'm the one that got mad at him for, well, caring. lol
The scale moved a little this morning, so all is well--things are going the direction they are supposed to be.
Yesterday was one of the worst pain days I've had. Today it was off and on, but by the time I picked my son up from his art class, I felt okay so I got a workout in. I love my Firm, and I did Standing Legs, my most effective Firm. My butt and legs are in pain--a good pain! =) I believe, in my humble opinion, that The Firm's Standing Legs is more effective than the leg work in P90X. There, I said it. Not the chest/back/arms/abs, but the lower body--definitely. In my opinion. For me, at least. lol I think a combo of the two may be in my future!
My doctor appointment is in two weeks--nervous, scared and ready to get the ball rolling.
Our tiny town got a new grocery store. We now have three--we're in the big leagues! I bought 40 pounds of 93% ground beef for $1.99 a pound. Woo-hoo. That should last us quite awhile, and it's nice to have a stocked freezer. We were paying $4 or over for 93%. I've got lots of chicken in there, too. That always makes me feel very secure knowing my freezer is stocked.
Nothing more to add--just feels good to be feeling stronger in my mind! And hubby will be home the day after tomorrow--yes!
I just wanted to point out that my husband was not mad, he was upset--sad or disappointed. I don't blame him one bit. I'm the one that got mad at him for, well, caring. lol
The scale moved a little this morning, so all is well--things are going the direction they are supposed to be.
Yesterday was one of the worst pain days I've had. Today it was off and on, but by the time I picked my son up from his art class, I felt okay so I got a workout in. I love my Firm, and I did Standing Legs, my most effective Firm. My butt and legs are in pain--a good pain! =) I believe, in my humble opinion, that The Firm's Standing Legs is more effective than the leg work in P90X. There, I said it. Not the chest/back/arms/abs, but the lower body--definitely. In my opinion. For me, at least. lol I think a combo of the two may be in my future!
My doctor appointment is in two weeks--nervous, scared and ready to get the ball rolling.
Our tiny town got a new grocery store. We now have three--we're in the big leagues! I bought 40 pounds of 93% ground beef for $1.99 a pound. Woo-hoo. That should last us quite awhile, and it's nice to have a stocked freezer. We were paying $4 or over for 93%. I've got lots of chicken in there, too. That always makes me feel very secure knowing my freezer is stocked.
Nothing more to add--just feels good to be feeling stronger in my mind! And hubby will be home the day after tomorrow--yes!
3.29.2010
Honesty
I've always been very honest on this blog--why wouldn't I be, it's my story and it serves as my memory. Once you hit 40, you forget details...
I guess I'm going to be dishonest by omission this morning. I'm up a couple pounds, and I'm so -- can't think of the emotion here -- that I'm not sharing it. Oh, hell, I guess I will: Up 2.5, 211.5.
Yes, I cheated.
With hubby out of town, it was time to enjoy foods he doesn't like. And then some. I had Olive Garden, Subway a few times, and, gasp, Pizza Hut. I made spaghetti and ate one serving too much.
Now I didn't go hog wild at all--I didn't eat like I used to, but I ate more than I normally do. I didn't buy cookies and gorge myself. I didn't do any of the things that got me to 282.5 except for eating too much at my meals.
I also didn't put in the exercise that I like to. I was hurting.
I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: Health never takes a vacation. Never. So why I thought I could is beyond me.
Hubby called from Germany yesterday and I told him about it, and he got quite upset. I think he was scared for me. He doesn't want to see me fall off the wagon and go back. It just takes one slip and poof. Of course I got mad at him for getting upset, which was stupid, because he loves me.
I have no earthly idea why I decided I could have larger portions. None. Some stress involved...I always feel very unsettled when he's away from home. The pain had been really bad this month and quite frankly, it was breaking my spirit. It's so hard to be positive when you're under that dark cloud.
These are excuses. Pure and simple: I blew it.
Now am I going to beat myself up over this? NO! Am I going to learn from it? YES. I am human. I am subject to err.
I sat down many times to blog about this knowing full well that if I was honest, it would probably bring back to reality quickly. I chose not to out of embarrassment. That was the wrong choice.
It is what it is. Now I'm up, it will take me a bit to get back where I was.
There is never any going back to the way things were. My health is too important. I know that, I've always known that, but I sure didn't live it.
Yesterday was perfect. I ate the proper amount of calories and with the proper ratio of protein/fat/carbs. It wasn't difficult at all, and frankly, it felt good.
This gave me a lot of, um, food for thought. Last year's motto was: I can do that. Yes, I came up with small goals or obtainable things, applied my "I can do that" spirit, and did it. I've updated my motto for this year. Now it's I can and I will. I can and I will get to a healthy weight AND fitness level AND maintain it.
Self love. I could choose to really beat myself up over this. I choose not to. Just like when my son makes a mistake, I don't pound it in and make him feel bad. He feels bad enough already. I teach him that instead, he should look at it as a learning opportunity. So I'm applying that to myself.
Yes, I f*cked up. Yes, I'm back on the wagon. Yes, I'm just a little bit stronger/wiser/more prepared than I was because of it. I know what to watch for. I know to watch my stinking thinking. I know to reach out for help when I'm in that stinking thinking.
To err is human, to forgive is divine. I forgive myself and I'm moving on.
I guess I'm going to be dishonest by omission this morning. I'm up a couple pounds, and I'm so -- can't think of the emotion here -- that I'm not sharing it. Oh, hell, I guess I will: Up 2.5, 211.5.
Yes, I cheated.
With hubby out of town, it was time to enjoy foods he doesn't like. And then some. I had Olive Garden, Subway a few times, and, gasp, Pizza Hut. I made spaghetti and ate one serving too much.
Now I didn't go hog wild at all--I didn't eat like I used to, but I ate more than I normally do. I didn't buy cookies and gorge myself. I didn't do any of the things that got me to 282.5 except for eating too much at my meals.
I also didn't put in the exercise that I like to. I was hurting.
I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: Health never takes a vacation. Never. So why I thought I could is beyond me.
Hubby called from Germany yesterday and I told him about it, and he got quite upset. I think he was scared for me. He doesn't want to see me fall off the wagon and go back. It just takes one slip and poof. Of course I got mad at him for getting upset, which was stupid, because he loves me.
I have no earthly idea why I decided I could have larger portions. None. Some stress involved...I always feel very unsettled when he's away from home. The pain had been really bad this month and quite frankly, it was breaking my spirit. It's so hard to be positive when you're under that dark cloud.
These are excuses. Pure and simple: I blew it.
Now am I going to beat myself up over this? NO! Am I going to learn from it? YES. I am human. I am subject to err.
I sat down many times to blog about this knowing full well that if I was honest, it would probably bring back to reality quickly. I chose not to out of embarrassment. That was the wrong choice.
It is what it is. Now I'm up, it will take me a bit to get back where I was.
There is never any going back to the way things were. My health is too important. I know that, I've always known that, but I sure didn't live it.
Yesterday was perfect. I ate the proper amount of calories and with the proper ratio of protein/fat/carbs. It wasn't difficult at all, and frankly, it felt good.
This gave me a lot of, um, food for thought. Last year's motto was: I can do that. Yes, I came up with small goals or obtainable things, applied my "I can do that" spirit, and did it. I've updated my motto for this year. Now it's I can and I will. I can and I will get to a healthy weight AND fitness level AND maintain it.
Self love. I could choose to really beat myself up over this. I choose not to. Just like when my son makes a mistake, I don't pound it in and make him feel bad. He feels bad enough already. I teach him that instead, he should look at it as a learning opportunity. So I'm applying that to myself.
Yes, I f*cked up. Yes, I'm back on the wagon. Yes, I'm just a little bit stronger/wiser/more prepared than I was because of it. I know what to watch for. I know to watch my stinking thinking. I know to reach out for help when I'm in that stinking thinking.
To err is human, to forgive is divine. I forgive myself and I'm moving on.
3.28.2010
This Makes Me Happy
My son and I just worked out together. This is our second time working out together, doing Beach Body's Power 90 Sculpt 1-2. He's doing it on his own, but invited me to work out with him.
It just makes me so happy that all three of us are working out on a consistent (well, except when I'm in pain) basis. I would have never, ever thought of us as a fitness family...but I guess we really are!
Nothing could make me happier.
I'm so glad I bought Power 90 for DS. He doesn't like the cardio, but he does it anyway. He's enjoying lifting. It's a great program for him or anyone starting out.
It just makes me so happy that all three of us are working out on a consistent (well, except when I'm in pain) basis. I would have never, ever thought of us as a fitness family...but I guess we really are!
Nothing could make me happier.
I'm so glad I bought Power 90 for DS. He doesn't like the cardio, but he does it anyway. He's enjoying lifting. It's a great program for him or anyone starting out.
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