Walking

I didn't exercise this morning, and so I needed to do something tonight. I leashed up Pip and off we went.

I did my normal "walk the dog" route. At the half-way point, I checked my cell phone and we had only walked for six minutes. Holy tennis shoes, Batman, not good enough for today's exercise. In the past, it took me a half hour to walk this normal route, so I've shaved that considerably...due to my fitness being better and my puppy healing much better.

So we walked and we walked and we walked. I started to freak out because what if my legs gave out, what would I do. I don't walk this far, ever. We walked some more and came upon some fog and it was absolutely gorgeous. It had just rained and everything was fresh, foggy, and cool. I could smell wood stoves burning, I could see my breath! (Yeah, it's cold here tonight.) And I forgot about getting in 30 minutes, I forgot about where I was going, I forgot to worry about my legs giving out. I enjoyed the walk. So did Pip.

When we came back into a neighborhood, I checked my phone and it was time to head back. My legs were feeling this walk, as it works different muscles than Richard's videos. I feared we wouldn't get in an entire half hour and would hit 20 minutes. Was I surprised when I walked in my door and we had been gone 31 minutes. Woot!

Lots of small hills and they really winded me. Walking on flat ground is easy, but those hills--it was embarrassing to huff and puff on those small hills.

I wonder what people thought on one street we were on. It was a quiet street with no traffic, so Pip and I practiced about turns and u-turns. Over and over and over. lol Hopefully people didn't think I was stalking them or staking out their houses! lol

To be very honest, I don't like to walk. I do, but I don't. I have no desire to ever run. I love to read about everyone's 5Ks, but I have no interest in them. After tonight's walk, though, I think I have a desire to go on long walks more often. It was good training for my pup, it was good training for my legs.

Now don't laugh. I logged our walk in, and we went 1.40 miles. In 30 minutes. That's really slow, isn't it? It doesn't matter, because we got out there and did it.

Boring Afternoon, But 2 Great NSVs

Today was my day to volunteer at the library book sale. I dreaded it, and my dread was correct. It was as boring as watching paint dry. It could have been fun but the gal who volunteered with me was one of those women who talk incessantly about themselves, leaving no room for an actual conversation.

Yawn.

She said "shit" many times in front of patrons, "Jesus" and "bitch" were used, too. Have some class, lady. (I say those things in the privacy of my home or with certain people, but I would never do that in public.)

Then the president of our group showed up. I tried to engage him in pleasant conversation. Every time we started talking, she'd interrupt and start blabbing on. I just tuned her out. So did he. She was going on and on about something and in mid-sentence, the man turned and walked away. That made me smile on the inside (because I'm evil.)

I was also very saddened to learn that a good portion of donations are put into recycle piles. We discovered the pile, and there must have been a couple thousand books. I was shocked because there were books I would have bought if my son were younger. There were some of my donations as well. I donated a few sets, textbooks, teachers manuals and workbooks that we didn't use. The textbooks were on the shelves, but the teacher manuals and workbooks were in the recycle. My donations were mint condition, too.

There was an entire box of Zane Grey books, in mint condition.

I didn't understand the logic: put the clean books out and if they don't sell, then put them in the recycling. I will be rethinking what I donate in the future.

I was also dumbfounded to learn that the money from these sales does not buy books like one would assume. The money buys the social things for our library: A coffee bar, a Wii and Wii games. My son has gone to three of the Wii parties for teens, and at two of them, he was the only one to show up.

They need some good leadership. Personally, I'd rather the money go for books!

There's my rant for the day. Now for the NSVs:

It was cold and windy today, but expected to be in the 60s. I wanted to wear a short sleeve shirt, but I didn't have a spring coat that fit well. I have a few that are too tight and too short.

WRONG. I put my favorite blue coat on, expecting to look like a sausage stuffed into its casing, when lo and behold, the coat was long, the sleeves went to my knuckles, and I could zip it up plus put something under if need be. lol

This NSV just shocked me, because I wasn't thinking about weight or fit or anything, just dreading wearing the too-small coat. Wow, what a pleasant surprise.

~~~

One of the volunteers this morning brought in two plates of brownies. Great big, beautiful chocolate brownies. They smelled divine. Another plate of cranberry and orange brownies. They didn't tempt me at all. lol I sat there with the brownies within my reach the entire afternoon and didn't even want one. I did enjoy the smell, but I just had no desire to eat one.

So a weird afternoon. I'm glad I volunteered, it's nice to be helpful. I prefer to be a recluse and not have to deal with self-absorbed yackers, but I had some pleasant moments with patrons. I got out of the house, which is always good. I didn't eat a brownie and my coat was too big.

Not bad at all!

Off Days

Ever have a day where you just feel off?

Yesterday was my day. I was just annoyed with everything, yesterday. Until dinner, that is.

I'm just about to go exercise, and I decided since I was being snitty yesterday, that I would do Dance Your Pants Off again. I won't woo with them, because I'm a quiet person and don't woo--but I do woo-hoo on comments!--and I'll enjoy the routine. Because it is good.

So my lesson learned is this: Don't do anything other than the Sweatin' 1-4 on days that I'm just annoyed. The other days I'm good. lol

The other lesson learned is this: Yesterday I was annoyed at MYSELF and projecting it on to everything else.

All day, until dinner. I was annoyed that I volunteered to help at the book sale at the library Saturday afternoon, because I'd rather not. I was annoyed that I am not doing my housework like I used to. I've gone from an immaculate home to a clean-but-messy-at-the- moment home. (Well, actually it needs its weekly cleaning, but...) I'm annoyed that my wound is still weeping. I'm annoyed that only Flex Band-Aids stick without adding medical tape, and I'm out of those because I was too lazy to go to the store. I'm annoyed that I cannot multi-task. I'm annoyed at myself for getting so unhealthy.

So I had my pouty, snitty day yesterday. Today I have taken action to give myself an attitude adjustment. I've been cleaning, I've been getting some things done that needed done. We're about done with school for the day. So it's better.

I'm not annoyed anymore.

I'm Goofy

I've got the giggles. I'm very tired, trying to relax a bit before heading off to bed. I was just reading TJ's blog, where she posted the picture of "that" and how creepy and scary it is. I so get that. When I first saw "that" I stared at it for about five minutes, blew it up as large as I could, trying to figure out what it was. I still don't know.

Then I got the giggles, and then they got loud. I woke up my son. That's how GOOFY I am. He came out and looked at the picture, rolled his eyes and said, "I know it looks like an alien, but MOM, it's photoshopped." Then he went back to bed.

He took all my tired fun away. I was really laughing about this. All because I read TJ's reaction to it, and I had the SAME reaction the first time I saw it, fearing it could sneak into my house or something.

I then left a stupid and goofy comment on her blog. TJ, congrats on reaching 100 posts. "That" is not your prize. I was just kidding. Forgive me for being tired and silly.

~~~~

In other goofy news, we had our dog obedience class tonight. The teacher didn't show, so the assistant taught the class. Um, no comment. lol Before class, I mentioned that there is an Olive Garden in this town, and since it's my favorite restaurant in the world, we could eat there tonight instead of Taco Bell and celebrate Mother's Day early. Everyone agreed.

After class, my husband pipes up and says: "We can't go to the Olive Garden, we just bought dog food, a new long-line leash, a new water dummy and I don't want to spend the money."

I didn't say a word.

I was driving. Guess--just guess where we ate dinner?

The great news? I ordered my favorite, Cheese Ravioli. I had a large salad with dressing on the side, one breadstick, and by the time I had eaten half the ravioli on my plate, I was STUFFED. I was floored. My stomach must be smaller. I had enough points to eat the whole thing, but I couldn't! This is an absolute first. I used to put away the entire ravioli, a salad, and tons of breadsticks.

I recognized I was full, I stopped eating and got a doggie bag to bring it home. So lunch or dinner tomorrow.

I told my husband after dinner that this is how skinny people live. (I assume.) They enjoy great food that they love from time to time, but they are not gluttons. This is how I want to live the rest of my life, not only recognizing when I'm full, but actually stop eating when I'm full. How cool is that!

Fishy

Last night we tried Talapia for the first time. I found it in the freezer section at Wal-mart, just as Jessica at Pudget blogged about.

I'm not a fish eater. Tuna, I love. Fish, well, it's fishy. Of course I used to love the deep-fat fried salmon patties Mom used to make when I was a kid, but that's a no-no now.

I was actually surprised by the Talapia. It didn't taste bad. It wasn't bad at all. I had 4 ounces, which was 100 calories. That surprised the heck out of me. It was 2 WW points. My hubby prepared the fish with lemon juice and butter-flavor Pam and pan fried them.

We need to learn how to cook it, though, because it was kind of bland. We both put too much salt on it at the table. I added ICBINB (only I use the Parkay brand) butter spray to mine as well.

The only bad thing was I was hungry, very hungry, an hour after dinner. We had the fish, rice and a salad.

(My son loved it, and he's as picky as I am.)

So I will definitely buy it again, search for different ways to prepare it, and enjoy the fact that there is a fish out there besides tuna that I will eat. I need to get creative with the meal, though, to bulk it up a bit so I stay full. That will be easy to figure out.

I don't know if Talapia is a heart-healthy fish or not. We'll eat it, though, to add variety.

Next time we have fish, it will be Salmon fillets, again found at Wal-mart.

So the moral of the story is: Yes, you can get a picky eater (me!) to try new foods and actually like them. Now to get that to work veggies. ;-)

Woo Woo

I just finished working out. I did Richard Simmons' Dance Your Pants Off today.

I didn't like it.

I remember now why I never did the tape on a regular basis.

It's not the routine, I love the routine. It's not the music, I love the music. It's not the set, it's a great set.

It's the wooing. Wooo. Wooo. Wooo. The exercisers in the video are always wooing. Loudly.

It drives me crazy.

I know why they woo, it's because they're working out and having fun. I know it's in the tape because it adds an energy, an element of fun. I get that.

To me, though, this is MY time. I want to escape into the music and only hear what Richard has to say--instruction wise. I don't want woos. I love to watch the people. I think it's inspirational. I just don't want to hear them.

How selfish of me, eh?

I have a child who makes a lot of noise. A lot. At times I can't take his weird little noises he makes just for the fun of it, and I ask him politely to stop. He does, for 30 seconds, then forgets and makes weird noises. Kids do that. He's a teenager, and I guess teenagers do that, too.

I have three dogs. That's a lot of noise.

We live next to senior citizens who have a poodle who walks on water--at least in their eyes. The dog barks all day long, every day. Yip yip yip yip yip. We can hear the dog barking in our house with the windows closed--even when he's in his house with the windows closed. I have lost all enjoyment of my back yard due to their dog, because I cannot stand the noise. The minute I step outside, the dog is in the window barking at me. That dog makes 90% more noise than all three of ours do put together. It makes more noise than all the dogs on the street.

They never tell him no.

I just don't do noise. I have too much of it in my life.

So I don't want woos. I just want to completely escape into the music. I want to watch with my eyes, sing along in my head, but I just don't want the woos.

I guess I'll stick to the Sweatin' to the Oldies series because I can escape when I'm doing that.

Obesity

I was just reading a new-to-me blog (Laurie at Laurie's Journey to Better Health) where she was talking about her goals. I share some of the same goals: getting to within a normal weight range. Don't we all! After reading her blog, I got to thinking about my goal chart, I don't think I put in obesity/overweight/normal weight range. I want to update that, because I just love reaching goals.

Right now, I am morbidly obese. It's hard to admit, and those are two very ugly words to me. I Googled to come up with a weight-range chart for morbid obesity, to find out when I will be obese and not morbidly obese.

I hit the Wikipedia site and learned something new.

Instead of underweight, normal weight, overweight, obese and morbid obesity, they have three stages of obesity. And to top that off, there are two stages of the third stage of obesity, which I didn't know.

Make sense?

If your BMI is:

< 18.5 you are underweight
18.5–24.9 you are within normal weight
25.0–29.9 you are overweight
30.0–34.9 Class I obesity
35.0–39.9 Class II obesity
> 40.0 Class III obesity

Any BMI > 40 is severe obesity
A BMI of 40.0–49.9 is morbid obesity
A BMI of >50 is super obese

Okay, so my BMI right now is 43.4 which puts me in the Class III/morbid obesity range still. I started out at a 47.

So now I get to update my goal chart to include the various stages of obesity as mini-goals. I never knew there were classes to that at all.

To get to a 39.9, CLASS II OBESITY, I will have to weigh 240.

To get to 34.9, CLASS I OBESITY, I will have to weigh 210.

To get to 29.9, OVERWEIGHT, I will have to weigh 179.

To get to 24.9, NORMAL, I will have to weigh 149.

Wow, that's less than my current goal of 162. I'll worry about that when I get there. It is still unimaginable to me to get that low. I try to picture it in my mind, I look at old photographs, but it's so long ago and so foreign to me. I'm really working at forming a picture of it in my mind, though.

These numbers are humbling and overwhelming. I don't think I could have made this chart when I started out, because it would have been too depressing. I'm thrilled to be reaching each 5-pound goal I have, and I'm coming up on a 25-pound goal, too. I have to think small otherwise it would just get me down. And I don't need down. I'm feeling so much better now, I don't want anything to spoil that!

Some NSVs

A couple days ago my husband told me that he can see muscles in my forearms. I looked, and by golly, he's right!

The swelling in my right leg/ankle/foot has gone down considerably. It's still there, but not nearly as pronounced. I don't struggle to get my shoe on now--in fact, I don't even think about it when putting my shoe on.

My hands are thinner, I can see the veins.

My tummy is shrinking. I can feel it and I can see it.

My undies are too big. lol

I have noticed that when I sit at the kitchen table, I don't have that great big belly resting on my legs. I could actually feel the weight of it. Now I still have a small amount hanging over and resting, but it is not so blatantly obvious to me.

Today at lunch DH and I were discussing all the things we noticed and I rubbed my cheek. Oh my gosh, I felt a dent in between my cheekbone and the part underneath. Meaning: I have cheekbones again! I had my husband feel it, I had my son feel it, and I sat there and rubbed it over and over, both sides. lol WOW. DH then said he noticed the fat coming off my neck and double chin a little, too. Woo-hoo. I hate having a fat face.

I wish that I had not been a chicken when I started this and actually measured myself. The scale I could handle, but I couldn't handle the numbers on a measuring tape. All I have to go by is the pair of jeans that were skin tight when I started.

All this made me feel great. I then went and looked in the mirror. Yes, I can see the changes. My back even looks better.

I will do pictures in the middle of the month again. I'm anxious to compare them. What is so noticeable to me, will it be in the photos? Perhaps I'm more in tune with my body and I notice the tiny changes more now and they are smaller than I feel they are. I mean, I'm still fat, I weigh 261 pounds, but it doesn't matter, though, because there ARE changes!

Random Tidbits

I got a email from Weight Watchers this morning. Hungry, the cute orange monster that I see everywhere, is now available for sale for online at the Weight Watchers' store! I think after I pay bills if we're not too broke, lol, I will buy one. I have wanted one since I first saw them. I'll get a $4 magnet for the fridge.







I wrote a letter to Richard Simmons yesterday. I have never done anything like that in my life. Right as I hit send, though, the screen popped up: Site down for maintenance. So I'm not sure if it went through or not. lol I'd like to buy this key chain for $4.95 for a little reward some day.







I just realized, duh, that I have less than 100 pounds to lose. Why didn't I see that before? 99 to go! That's a great milestone. I am officially 1/6th of the way done with the weight loss part. The maintenance will be forever. =)


I don't have a picture of my kitty on this computer. Picture a beautiful, white male cat who is overweight due to liver issues.




I woke up at 4:30 this morning. My hubby fell asleep on the couch last night and I took his spot in bed under the window. That crisp air feels and smells so good. I now know why he looks like Santa Claus every morning. His morning shadow has white cat hair in it every morning. Our silly cat likes to look out the window. Kitty climbed all over my head last night. There's no where to move the bed for this not to happen, sadly. My poor hubby, no wonder the cats annoy him. I had no idea he went through this.

Vita-Mix

See this Vita-mix? The thing so many people covet? The coolest invention since sliced bread?

This exact creature sits on my counter top. I inherited it from my dad. So far, I have only made a couple of shakes in the thing. I dug it out of my cupboard and gave it a place of honor when I started Weight Watchers. I don't have much counter space, but I figured this would be an invaluable tool.

I will use it to grind up Fiber One Cereal to make some of Hungry Girl's recipes. I may use it this summer to make mock chocolate shakes although I haven't found any that both taste and texture is good. I just read that you can freeze you favorie flavor of diet pop and then use a juicer to make slushies: I see some orange slushies in my future this summer!

This creature could help me on my journey. Yes-sir-ree, Bob. I don't like veggies, and I know I could concoct all sorts of healthful drinks or soups in this creature.

I don't.

I see pictures and blog posts about smoothies and I think: I should make that.

I don't.

I see reports that you can get 4-5 servings of fruits and veggies in one glass. In ONE glass.

I don't.

It scares me because I'm afraid of -- of -- I don't know what, but I am.

So I'm asking for help. I need recipes and ideas. Can't taste too gross, lol! The goal is to mask the taste of veggies. Dr. Oz's green drink that Oprah said tasted like a glass of fresh? Just the sound of that made me gag. When I heard that, I instantly thought of grass clippings. lol

I don't know why I don't like veggies, but it may be the fact that Mom cooked them to death when I was growing up and they were soggy and mushy and disgusting. I prefer raw over cooked. Most veggies taste like dirt to me. Seriously.

So any ideas would be greatly appreciated. I need to give this creature a run for its money.

Blog Award!

Ang at Get Fit After 40 has awarded me the Super Blogger award. Thank you, I am honored.

Here are the rules:

1. 
   Tape it up on your blog somewhere.


2. 
   Pass it along to 5 fellow super bloggers, and comment on their blog to let them know how lucky they are today!


3. 
   When you present your Super Blogger awards, link back to the super blogger who gave it to you.

I love awards and memes and all that. The only part I don't love is having to choose people to pass awards on to out of all the blogs I read. I read them because I like the blogger, I can relate, and I want to follow that person's journey. I would gladly award this to all the bloggers I read, but I will follow the rules, because I am a rule follower. In no particular order:

1. TJ at TJ's Test Kitchen. TJ at was the very first person to follow my blog. I love her food pictures. She inspires me to get a little more creative in the kitchen. She has done a terrific job and looks fabulous!

2. Summer at Mommy Need Coffee. She is someone that I know I would like instantly if we were to meet in real life. She inspires me with her food journals and she gladly shares recipes when I ask. She works hard on this difficult journey. She shares some of the same struggles I have.

3. SeaShore at Weight by the SeaShore. I was drawn to her blog immediately and secretly hoped she would find mine. She did. She has worked hard and looks great. She loves border collies. I love border collies. I love following her journey.

4. Fat[free]Me at Fat[Free]Me. I can really relate to her. She inspires me. Her posts have touched me and made me do a lot of thinking about my own journey. She's doing a great job, and is working hard at fitness and weight.

5. Wildfluffysheep at in[FAT]uation: it will eat you. She is working hard on her journey! She just makes me smile. She's cute as a button, sweet, supportive and caring. I wish I had her confidence: I admire her so for putting a picture of her cute little knickers on her blog!

Back in the Saddle!

I just finished my workout. I'm dripping. I feel GREAT. I missed it.

I was worried about my little wound, so I did Sweatin' to the Oldies 1 which is shorter than his others. Aside from my pants rubbing on it causing a little friction (even under the bandage) I was good.

And that leads me to this. I want some workout pants. I wear cotton pajama bottoms. I don't like to exercise in shorts as I sweat too much and my legs are too fat yet. I would like some fitted leggings. I've been looking online and why oh why do they have to be so expensive? I found some I really loved for $44 a pair. That's insane for my budget, especially since I plan on dropping sizes. I don't live near any major stores aside from Wal-mart, and they don't have anything appropriate. Grrrr.

I'll Live

I went to the doctor this afternoon. Yuck.

I saw someone I hadn't met, and he didn't make me feel comfortable at all. Fortunately it was quick. It's awkward enough going, and then when they make you feel uncomfortable, ewww.

The nurse cleaned it up and dressed it again. I walked out with a prescription for Bactrim. He didn't tell me if it was staph or not. Who knows. But I am doing all the right things: heat to draw the infection out, Hibiclens to clean it, and bacitracin.

Tomorrow I can start exercising again.

I'll live. I bought myself some acidophilus because I don't like yogurt and I don't want to waste my points on it and antibiotics always do funny things to me.

The great part of the visit? My blood pressure was completely normal. I can't even remember what it was now, as I was nervous. The nurse commented and told me my BP was great, I looked at the numbers and was shocked, and then I blanked them out. My pulse, though, was high at 98. I was also running a temp, which I didn't realize I was.

So maybe this exercise really is doing great things on my insides like I had hoped. My blood pressure was never high, but it was very close last time I went in. Now if I can get the HDL up, the LDL down and the triglycerides down, I'll be very happy. Exercise is supposed to do those things.

I'm so glad this is all over, and hopefully the antibiotics will do their job. I'm ready to work out again! I actually, gasp, missed it!

Monday Weigh-In Day

261

Down 1 pound.

I have lost 7 1/2 percent of my total body weight.
I have dropped my BMI 3.6 points.

Not bad at all!

Decisions, Decisions

The ^&*# boil burst early this evening. Sorry, I know it's gross for me to talk about such things. It was gross. My sweet husband helped me clean up, I used Hibicleanse (I think that's the name of it, it's what they use in hospitals) and dressed it.

The big question: Should I call the doctor tomorrow about it anyway? It was big and bad. I don't know if it will heal on its own or if I need antibiotics. I've been told by a dermatologist years ago I am a staph carrier, and I would imagine this was a staph infection. Who knows. What would you guys do?

It sure feels a million times better. I should be able to exercise again tomorrow, whew. At least I can walk through my house now without wincing in pain.

~~~~

I have decided to make an appointment with the doctor my son is going to go to later this month. I don't know her from Adam, but I have friends who love her. I think a woman may be more compassionate and sympathetic about female issues than a man. I hate to say that, I'm not sexist, but I fear it may be true.

~~~

We skipped what we were supposed to have for supper tonight. DH bought hot dogs and wanted those. I wanted comfort food. So I made myself homemade mac and cheese and a chicken breast. It was good, but it really wasn't comforting in the way it used to be. It was just a food I liked. Maybe that's a good thing, because I didn't crave an entire stock pot full of the stuff.

~~~~

Through the crappy weekend, I stayed within points. I didn't get enough veggies in, but at least I didn't turn to food for comfort.

I don't know what the scale will bring tomorrow morning. I haven't weighed myself the last couple days. I'm carrying water, so who knows. It doesn't matter what the scale says, though, because I look to the big picture. Everything I do is healthier than before, and I'm working hard at improving my health.

Now it's time for bed.

Week 12's I Can Do That

I've fallen out of the habit of eating tuna a couple times a week, so I'm going to make that one of my ICDT's this week.

Also I am going to try to save some money and do some baking this week. I'm going to try a few recipes for breakfast cookies until I find a good one. The Hungry Girl cookbook has one, I think the first HG cookbook had one, and I have some I found online.

Week 12 Menu

Monday-Italian chicken, salad, noodles

Tuesday-Roast, mashed potatoes, salad

Wednesday-Omelets, hash browns, salsa,

Thursday-OUT

Friday-Cola chicken, rice, salad

Saturday-Fish sticks, French fries, salad

Sunday-Fish, rice, veggies

we bought two kinds of frozen fish at Wal-mart, Tilapia and Salmon. Will have to figure out how to cook them!

Discouraged

Another bad day.

WARNING: This is definitely a TMI post. Skip on by if you don't need to know personal details of my woes including female stuff, blood and gore.




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This boil throbs, burns and hurts like holy hell. I can't sit on the toilet, even, as the boil hits the seat. I've done the heat pack to draw the infection out, but it's not working. I'm too afraid to lance it on my own because I'm afraid of infection. And I don't want to go into a walk-in clinic today because...

It's close to, well, the private area. And I am bleeding like a gusher. And I couldn't handle it if I had to go pantless in front of anyone in the condition I am in, because I'm so heavy that I'd be afraid of a leak, or odor, or whatever.

I will call my doctor's office tomorrow. I should be lighter. I can't stand the pain this stupid boil is giving me. If it were located anywhere else, it wouldn't be so bad, but I can't walk as it rubs on my other leg. Forget about exercising today, sigh. I know I need antibiotics.

Cramps are severe today.

Something's got to give. These periods are awful, from the PMS to the extremely heavy flow. (I bled so heavily last night that I soaked my sheets.) And I always get a boil with each period, but never like this one. I need help.

The last time I had a physical I brought it up to my doctor. I started in on all the problems I was having and his response: Really? I thought they were supposed to get better as you got older.

I like this doctor in so many ways, I really do. He was there for me and helped me out with my panic situation. He's not listening to me about "the pain" I have which he pointed out was in my bowel, and about the period issues. The periods are affecting the quality of my life. You can see it in this blog, how weird I get the preceding week. The pain, the pain, the pain.

He never once told me I was pre-diabetic. I found that out when I couldn't get into him and had to see another doctor for a sinus infection I had. That guy looked at my chart, announced I was pre-diabetic, and then we had a nice, long talk about Neti pots. (They are wonderful, if you haven't tried one.)

These periods make me feel crazy, and I just don't need that. Not crazy, but unbalanced. And I'm not, I just am having severe surges of hormones or whatever and it's not pretty.

So I could go back to my doctor. I will try to get in to see him tomorrow to lance this thing, but he's probably booked and I'll get whomever.

My son has an appointment later this month with a new doctor, a woman. She used to work where my doctor does, but she and another doc broke away so they could have more control of what they did. I could go to her. I don't know what to do, but I have to do something.

Last night I started crying hard because of all this. My husband was sitting next to me and I told him that this touches everyone in the family, that my life is basically crap for a week, week and a half every stinking month. (I used a stronger word than stinking. lol)

There. I feel a bit better just getting it off my chest. Who in their right mind shares such intimate details on their blog? I'm half embarrassed to do so, but I don't have anyone in real life to discuss this with that is available this weekend.

Wah.

Late Saturday Night

Today was a non-day. I slept most the day. Friday night insomnia was severe, medication did not induce sleep. My hubby got up, we drank a cup of coffee together, and I went to bed for the millionth time and finally drifted off after six.

Today was the second day of my cycle, typically the horrid pain day. I woke at 11, started the day. No pain. I waited and waited. Very atypical. Finally it reared its ugly head about 5 tonight and it came on fast and fierce. Three Motrin nipped it in the bud. Wow, that usually doesn't happen.

I took a nap from 2-4:30.

It was a non-day because I slept or whined the whole day.

I did not exercise. Without getting too gross, I have a huge boil on my inner thigh that I am hoping and praying will pop already. It's painful, it rubs against seams on my pants, and it's huge. It's disgusting. I get these occasionally with my cycles. That's all I'll say about that except I have a huge band aid on it, and will try to work out tomorrow. Walking hurts, though.

So, bad day except that the pain/duration was better. I'm wondering if that's due to all my exercise. Had it not been for that boil, I would have attempted exercise when the cramps got bad.

I was craving meat, so we had round steak for dinner. Mmm, it was good.

I'm 43. I'm ready to be done with this monthly crap. I'm not having any more babies. Enough already. It really screws up my life for a good week before and a few days into.