Happy New Year Give Away!

Happy New Year! May 2010 be a fantastic year!



In light of the new year, I decided to have another give away. Let's start the new year right with healthy eating and great exercise. To help with that, I'm giving away something I love: The Firm!



I am giving away one brand new DVD that has two workouts on it. The Firm Standing Legs and The Firm Upper Body. This is a weight lifting tape. Items needed to do this DVD are a tall box/high step and dumbbells. (Ankle weights, a chair and a barbell can be used, but are not necessary.)



Standing Legs is 45 minutes long and dubbed as one of the toughest lower body workouts available. It can't be all that bad, because I do it!



Upper Body is 40 minutes long and a thorough upper body workout.



To enter, leave a comment. If you announce the contest on your blog, let me know by leaving a second comment and I'll let that count as a second entry.



My son and I will put the entries in a bowl, and he will choose the winner. (That's easier than me using the computer, plus he likes to be included.) The winner must contact me within 48 hours of the announcement of the winner. Entries close at 9 pm Central Time on Friday the 8th, and my son will draw a winner on Saturday the 9th.

Happy New Year! May all your weight loss, health and fitness dreams come true!

My Little Bag of Tricks...

I keep a bag of clothes in my closet to shrink into. The last time I went through the bag, I was overjoyed at all the new-to-me-again clothes I could wear. I blogged about it, but can't find the post. I was psyched!

Well, just on a whim, I pulled my bag of tricks out and started trying on.

The bag now contains one pair of jeans. Everything else? FIT!

Here's the most amazing part: I'm at 222.5 pounds right now. The clothes that fit me today are the clothes I bought 7 years ago when I was in the 190s.

THAT is what serious exercise will do for a person! It will change your body composition!

I am just SO excited I could yell off roof tops! This really helps put those slow losses I've had the past few months into perspective. Pinch me! No longer will I complain over those slow losses, as long as I continue to work out.

My new-to-me-again jeans that I'm now wearing? SIZE 16!!!!!!

Now that's a great way to start the new year!!!

New Years Eve Plans

We are low key around here, we don't drink, so we don't party. Usually we rent some movies or watch TV on New Years Eve. We'll do the same this year, but my husband came up with a wonderful idea.

He asked me if I'd like to take the dogs for a walk at midnight tonight. How fun! YES! I asked my son and he had the same reaction.

So we will be bringing in the new year walking, moving our bodies, as a family, in the bitter Minnesota cold. I can't imagine a better way to bring the new year in...

(unless we won the lottery and could fly to a tropical paradise. lol)

Happy New Year

May 2010 be full of good health, great fitness and much happiness for everyone!

Fear of Morning

This is so silly, but it's true.

When I was a young teen in middle school, my son's age, my mom had a heart attack. It was scary for her, for me, and for everyone. After her heart attack, she had to change her ways. She had to start exercising. She hated exercising. I loved it. In fact, now that I'm doing it consistently again, I love it even more than I ever have.

Mom and I used to walk football field tracks or go to a lake and walk the bike path. Mom trudged along, and back then, I used to run. We'd often go swimming. Mom would just tread water and kind of be in the water, but I'd swim a few laps, jump off the board, dive, swim under water, etc.

Mom had to take classes on how to exercise and heart health. She learned one very important rule in all this: Most heart attacks happen between 4 and 7 in the morning.

Ah, the cardinal rule was born and instilled into me: You NEVER exercise in the morning. Ever.

Fast forward to all these years. I have had a fear of exercising in the morning. And now you al know where that fear came from. Today I broke the rule.

I got up before 7 and by 7:30 (hey, that's early for me!), I was working out.

I LOVED it. Oh my gosh, I did my two workouts for a little more than an hour, was showered and dressed and ready to start the day. I have had more energy today than I've had in a long time. See, I'm not a morning person and I just don't wake up until early afternoon, which was my choice time to work out.

I think sometimes we need to get over our fears or what we have learned to accept as normal from our pasts and try new things. That goes for everything: food, exercise, issues, etc.

This is something I'm really going to try to institute into my life: MORNING exercise.

My mom has been gone for 16 years, and I don't think she'd mind now if I broke her rule. It would be amazing if I materialized into a morning person. That just might happen!

Monday Morning Weigh-In/2009 Results

I know, I said I wasn't going to weigh in from now on except on a monthly basis. I've been sneaking a few peeks here and there, and the darned scale always says 223.

Well, this morning I figured I'd hop on so I could have a total pounds lost in 2009 figure. Plus I was worried about my cookie episode.

Hmm, finally the scale has moved.

222.5
Total lost for 2009: 60
10 1/2 months

I've met another 5-pound goal. I have dropped my BMI in 2009 from 47 to 37.

My fitness has improved dramatically!

What a great year it has been. I think one of the best parts of this journey has been meeting so many wonderful people on this same journey. I've learned a lot from my blogging friends, and I feel rich from the friendship and support.

Here's to another great year for all of us! May I be blessed to lose another 60 in 2010.

Shoe Trick=Happy Feet!

Happy Feet!

Pumas: I'm still loving the new Pumas, but they are slightly long in the toe area. They're the most comfortable shoe I think I've ever owned, aside from that.

I got online to look to see if Puma made wide shoes so I could try a 7 instead of a 7 1/2. They do, but I'll have to find them in the stores to try them on first. Then I started Googling: wide foot, narrow heel. If I get a shoe that fits the width of my forefoot, then I get heel slippage. It stinks. Really. When your feet hurt, you hurt.

Well, forget that! My Google search led me to Dick's Sporting Good's Website and an article entitled How to Lace Athletic Shoes. They had a special lace design for wide feet (and other foot issues, too).

So I ran, grabbed my old workout shoes and tried it. Today I worked out in my old shoes and was in heaven! It works! It was comfortable. No pain at all, no tightness, and no more heel slipping out of the shoe!

It looks pretty funky, but I couldn't care less! Happy feet! I had to double-knot because the laces are too long.

Just thought I'd share, because I can't be the only one with imperfect feet! This opens up a whole new world to me. Perhaps now I can buy lace shoes at the bargain bins instead of buying the only pair that will fit no matter the cost.

Christmas Goodies

We had a fitness Christmas here! My husband got his rogue rings he wanted, wheel things that he holds onto as they roll on the floor--so he's doing push-up type things (Akro Wheels), and two fitness books he requested. I did surprise him with a 10-foot jump rope. He looked locally for one, but couldn't find one that long. One of the pitfalls that comes with being so tall, he can never find his size in anything!

I got my Original Step in teal and purple, the high step in blue, and a pair of slanted risers. I also got exercise DVDs (which I bought, mostly used) and am thrilled with! Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be so happy with fitness stuff for Christmas!

Two stability balls are on their way to our home as well. I've balked at stability balls due to the space they take up, fear of falling off them, and the fact we have three border collies who are ball fiends. There's just so much we

We sure have changed!

I made an excel chart with all the videos I have, categorized them by type: strength, cardio, interval, and Firm classifications of Tortoise and Hare. I have several rotations mapped out. I'm ready!

I didn't work out yesterday because the living room had experienced the Christmas Explosion--the garbage sack of wrapping paper, boxes, and stuff stacked. Today it's getting cleaned up so I have room to work out. I'm going to do Cathe's High Step Circuit which came with the High Step.

I feel so blessed that we were able to have such a lovely Christmas. My son was very happy, too. I feel even more blessed that my mindset has changed, that I enjoy exercise, and that I'm loving training my body.

It's back to normal eating for me today. I discovered I cannot make cookies and cannot have homemade cookies in the house. I've always prided myself on never forcing the others to change or give up anything, and they have changed their mindset as a result. I had an episode with cookies the day I made them. I just cannot have them. I'm sorry my family will have to suffer due to it, but it's a recipe for disaster for me.

I also discovered that I need to cut my lasagna and breakfast casserole recipes in half. We had two huge pans full of the stuff in the fridge, and it was just way too much food for the three of us. It was never an issue before, when I didn't watch what I ate. This time I felt guilt because I didn't want to waste good food.

When I lost 70 pounds a few years back, I always had a thought in the back of my mind: I cannot wait to get back to normal eating. Of course I did get back to normal eating and gained the 70 back plus some. This I think is why my metabolism is screwed up and why I'm losing slower this time. Now? I said last night to my husband, "Tomorrow I'm back to normal eating."

My normal has changed. And that's a good thing.

A Blogger Needs ...

I read a lovely blog written by Hopeful. She has a wonderful spirit, and despite many hardships with health of her parents, she perseveres with taking care of her own health.

Hopeful's mother passed away on December 22 and her funeral was on Christmas Eve day.

I have lost both of my parents, and the pain is surreal. My heart aches so much for Hopeful and her family right now, that I have tears rolling.

When both my parents passed, people would always ask if there was anything they could do. There was nothing. What meant the most to me, though, was to know that people cared. Kind words, cards, comments while I was grieving and my life had been torn apart, helped me so much. My world had stopped, I was in such pain--and kind words helped so much.

I left a comment for Hopeful, but I wish there were more I could do for her.

The blogging community is a wonderful and generous thing. Bloggers are great at offering support for good and bad, happy and sad. I would just ask that people keep Hopeful in mind. Thoughts, prayers, good vibes, whatever you do in such situations.

Now I'm going to go hug my family.

16 Inches for Christmas

Merry Christmas!

Since December 23, we have received 16 inches of snow. It is still snowing heavily, and forecast to snow tomorrow and Sunday!

We are no longer singing, "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow."

This is my hubby cleaning out yet again! I took this from a 3-inch crack in the front door, because I sure as heck wasn't going out there! lol

Just for perspective, my hubby is 6'5" tall.

Thank you, Kelly!

Guess who was lucky and won Kelly's No Pudge Fudge Brownie blog give away?

Me!!!

The poor mailman, it's been snowing all day, snowed a good six inches last night, and he's running a couple hours behind. However, he walked up the driveway with our yummy box of No Pudge Brownies.

Guess who is making brownies tonight? A fantastic substitution for that fudge I was craving. =)

Should I make the mint, the original or the cappuccino? Or all three? lol

Thank you so much, Kelly!

If I don't get on again tonight, Merry Christmas Eve....and Merry Christmas.

Christmas Eating

Each Christmas, we have the same foods: tradition, you know. I have yet to make cookies for my boys, but will be making Snickerdoodles tomorrow. That's it for cookies. I used to make several dozen of several different types of cookies. No more.

Yet, when it comes to our meals, I don't want to yield. For Christmas Eve dinner we are having our ham and all the fixin's. On Christmas day, we'll be having my Mom's lasagna. For Christmas breakfast, we'll be having my Mom's Stuffed French Toast. Christmas Eve morning we'll have cinnamon rolls.

That's a lot of food that I don't normally eat. It's not calorie or point-friendly. This year I'm using lower-calorie ingredients.

My plan is to go off for two days. My plan is NOT to go hog wild. At Thanksgiving, I took 1/2 cup of everything and enjoyed every last bite. When I tallied up the day, I was still within my plan! I know that the calories for our Christmas feast won't enable me to stay within plan, but I'll be close.

I plan to celebrate for two days. That doesn't mean eat everything in sight. It means eating my Mom's recipes, like I've done all my life. It means enjoying and savoring every bite. It means doing all this in moderation.

That is what I have never learned before: moderation. Then the day after Christmas, it's back on plan for me.

This year I'm also making a rainbow cake--white cake with red and green jell-o frosted with light Cool Whip. It is heavenly. I haven't had cake in a long time and I want it! And so I shall have it: in MODERATION.

The one thing I'm not going to make this year is fudge. We looked in two stores tonight for ready-made fudge. I just wanted one or two pieces. Hubby had to go to work today and he checked the treat room--I mean break room, and there was no fudge. The store had only one huge platter of fudge and there was no way. That is the one thing I know I would eat and eat until I was sick. I know that because I always do that. There is something about it that intoxicates me. If I only had access to one or two pieces, I'd be fine. But I don't. So no fudge for me this year.

Tomorrow I'm baking, cooking and preparing. I'm not making any cookies that would "require" me to eat cookie dough. So I'll be fine.

I think this plan will do well for me. Enjoy the holidays, enjoy the special foods over two days, NOT the entire month. Then right back to the plan. And I bet I won't be that far off plan, either. That is what I can do for life!

Weird...

I didn't weigh in this morning. First Monday in nearly a year I didn't hop on the scale. If just felt so WRONG. lol

We didn't do anything yesterday--nothing. It was a lazy day, my muscles were sore, and all of us just zoned.

Today we all got up and went to breakfast! An Egg McMuffin is 300 calories, and I haven't had one in nearly a year. I went, I ate and I enjoyed. And damned if it didn't give me horrible gas! lol Then we went window shopping.

While shopping (not planning on buying anything) I came across some Puma shoes. I just got one new Tracie Long video and she wears the coolest shoes! I didn't know what they were, and so I googled. I figured they were Pumas. DS and I went shopping last week and I saw Pumas but didn't even try them on as they looked far too narrow.

I have really weird feet. They're wide, but I have narrow heels. I have never bought a pair of shoes and not had to go through a bit of pain while breaking them in. That's why my shoes are all old and ugly, because it's painful.

Not any more.

At the sporting goods store I found the Pumas and decided what the heck, I'll try a pair. Hubby found two styles in my size and I tried the first pair on. Couldn't even get them on my wide foot. The second pair slid right on and the were like wearing slippers they were so comfortable. I bought them on the spot. Came home, put them on and I haven't taken them off. This is the first pair of shoes in my adult life that I've been able to wear without pain and with great comfort. They just feel as light as a feather!

Good-bye Nike and Reeboks my athletic shoes of the past, I'm now a Puma girl! I'm happy!

Roller Coaster

I had a very bad day today. Very bad. Emotional, arguing with hubby, it's all his fault, I'm just saying... ;-)

I don't know if it's Christmas or if it's hormones--or both. Ever since my surgery, my periods have not been regular in time. I never know until it hits me why I'm being bitchy. (For the record, I'm not a bitch, damn it.) lol I think I told hubby that today.

Food was fine. I exercised, but was very tired after a big workout yesterday, so I quit after 40 minutes--didn't finish the tape. I still counted it, though--40 minutes of sweating counts.

I'm going stir crazy. I hate to be a bah humbug Grinch, but I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over. I get a bit moody each Christmas missing my mom, and really try to fake it for my son's sake. I think I'll get DS up early tomorrow morning and hit the town. I have no plans, we'll probably go window shopping, but I just need out of this house.

I've been thinking about all the wonderful changes I've made over the year and how many things I need to work on. I have a couple of big, emotional things I need to deal with. I don't know if I have enough oomph to tackle them yet, but they're going to have to be faced sooner than later because frankly, I'm pretty miserable still in a few ways. I don't what the answers to one of my problems, and I don't know if I want to be brave and fix the other. Will share more on that after the holidays. I'm a thinker and will be mulling this stuff over. I do know that I've come this far with my physical health, working on the mental stuff a little along the way, and there's no sense in being asynchronous in my growth --I need to fix these issues and be level.

Exhaustion

Great day today. We took the day off and I got free time! What did I do? Gilad's Step and Tone and then Jari Love's Get Ripped and Chiseled. I burned over 500 calories in exercise today, woot!

After that, I ate a good protein lunch, hopped in the shower and then sat dazed. I was tired. Somehow I got a second wind and hubby and I went shopping. For hours.

I love to do stocking shopping. I could spend hours going up and down each aisle, getting lost in thoughts and dreams. That doesn't happen when I'm shopping with hubby. My 6'5" hubby walks fast, wants to go into a store to find what he is after, then wants to leave. While in the store I am practically running to keep up with him.

We went to a few stores, he found some great and cheap stocking stuffers that I would never have thought of. So it was good that he went. Then we did some grocery shopping and came home. It was nearly 8 before I had dinner.

I bought undies. He did not enjoy standing there while I was looking! lol I bought one package, came home and tried them home over my undies--haven't you all got that horrible email showing flesh-eating bacteria is on brand-new bras and panties? the one with the photos of open sores oozing and oh so gross--so that's why I tried it on over my undies. (I've never worn underwear out of the package, but I once bought a bra in the store and wore it out because my bra strap broke. My flesh is still in tact.)

Anyway, the undies are too big! lol I missed it by one size. So I'll just wash the pair I tried on and donate the others in the package. I can wear them, but it's nice to know I've gone down three sizes in undies!

Right now I'm barely keeping my eyes open. I had a wonderful day--really enjoyed spending time with myself in the living room working out. I think I shall go to bed now.

Panties in a Bunch

Literally.

I need new undies. I haven't bought new undies yet. I'm still wearing the same undies I wore at 282.5. Good grief! When I put my pants on, they extend way up and beyond the top of my pants. They bunch up.

Why? Why haven't I bought new undies?

Because I have no idea what size to buy!

Isn't that stupid? If I get too small, I will always shrink into them. So I think I'm going to go a couple sizes down and see. If they're too small, then I'll buy the next biggest size up.

I have worried more about the clothes that show, but it's getting to the point that the undies show through my shirts. lol

Had a great day today. I did Tracie Long's new Step Forward workout today. It was a Christmas present, but I did it anyway. It has a glitch in it where 3 minutes are running the wrong sound track and so I watched intently and then did basic step when I got lost. They're going to send out new DVDs when they get it fixed.

School went well.

The only thing that didn't go so well today was my hunger. I could have eaten the wall paper off the walls, if we had wall paper. At lunch, I decided I needed to change things up and not eat what I normally eat. Big mistake. What I normally eat fills me and keeps me content. An hour after lunch (which was an egg sandwich, carrots and a V8), I had a serving of cottage cheese, carrots and another V8. That didn't satisfy me. Then I had a breakfast cookie, and that did the trick. I think tomorrow I'll go back to my normal lunch.

I hope to hit Wally World tomorrow to finish up my shopping--still need to fill those stockings. I'll pick up some new undies while I'm there. No more droopy butt for me!

Bad Girl

I am bad.I did not work out today. I have absolutely no excuse other than I felt draggy or toxic all day. Plus my routine is a bit out of whack with hubby home. But that's no excuse, I just didn't do it.

BAD ME!!!

lol...That said after getting so sad after trying to catch up on blogs and seeing so many people being SO hard on themselves. Lighten up, people! Be happy. We're human and subject to err.

And speaking of that, I'll restate: I had an unexpected welcomed day of rest today.

See, a positive spin can do wonders.

I'm under my calories by 200 tonight and I'm not hungry. I think I'll just go to bed and hope it doesn't hurt my metabolism or goals.

Nothing too exciting, so I think I'll get to bed. A good night's sleep will do wonders for me!

Be Happy

One of my favorite bloggers, whom I've followed since the beginning of her journey, has made goal. Who doesn't know Fat[Free}Me? I think everyone knows her, as she is such an inspiration and such an amazing supporter. I am so happy for her! Yes, I got teary eyed when I read that magic word on her blog: GOAL.

Way to go!!!

~~~

I just read that Jack LaLane is recovering from heart surgery. He had a valve replacement done. I knew he was old, but I had no idea he was 95! Wow. My husband and I were discussing him, and he never watched the Jack LaLane Show. I watched it when I was a kid, and described his one-piece uniform. I went to YouTube and found a clip for us to watch. I found a great clip, and I'm going to share it here. His message is as valid when he made it as it is today. What an amazing man. I hope he has a speedy recovery.

Early-Morning Ramblings

Today I did two workouts, Cathe's Basic Step and The Firm's Tough Tape. I burned almost 500 calories. I was wiped, yet pumped at the same time. The first tape is only 29 minutes, the second is 45 so it's nothing crazy. It was a weight day for me, but I wanted to add some cardio.

I am having a lot of "fun" with Cathe' Basic Step. I am bound and determined to learn it. She does it with ease, such grace and I fumble, get exhausted, and am lacking grace. I plan to continue until I can get it down, as I think Santa is bringing me Cathe's Classics #1, which is three of her older step tapes. Her current cardio is very high impact and I have no desire to do it, but the older stuff is doable.

So I finished Cathe's workout today and I told my son my calorie burn. We were talking about Cathe, The Firm and Jari Love and I told him today I did a beginner tape. He was shocked and laughed a bit that I was doing a beginner tape and soaked with sweat. He's watched it for a few minutes and it really does look easy--but it's not. (For me, that is.)

That made me laugh. Yes, I am doing a beginner tape and not doing it well, but by golly, I'm bound and determined. I'll get there. I think that was a good lesson for him.

I've really been trying to catch up with blog reading. I'm making some gains, not commenting much due to time, but I like to know what everyone is up to. I struggle with comparing myself to others still. 50 pounds lost in 15 weeks? It took me almost a year, with only a couple cheats--and those couple cheats were minor. Ugh. I really am happy for people, but then I just have a feeling of ugh when I think of my own losses in comparison. So as I was reading blogs, I kept repeating we're all different. It's really weird to be happy for someone (which I really am!) without comparing. I'm working on it, though. It's not a race, I'm doing great, but...like everyone else, I want goal yesterday! =)

School went fairly well today, despite the fact hubby was home. He kind of disappeared so we could do our own thing. We did an abbreviated day, only hitting the major subjects. It was nice to see the interaction between my son and husband during the day.

My son's art class was this afternoon, and when we picked him up we had planned on going out to dinner. We changed our minds and went to the grocery store instead. Everyone got what they wanted, and I got a few other needed groceries. It's funny when hitting the grocery store sounds better than going out! Oh, the changes we have made.

I hope to sneak out of the house early tomorrow afternoon to finish my Christmas shopping. I need to get stocking stuffers for hubby and son. I also need to buy a box of sugar cereal for my son for Christmas. We don't buy that anymore, and he asked for a box for Christmas. I see nothing wrong with that, and thought it was kind of a cute request.

I took a nap after dinner tonight, which was a huge mistake. I'm just starting to get sleepy. Hopefully I'll wake up at normal time with enough energy to make it through the day. I don't do well with a lack of sleep, so we'll see.

My mood is continuing to get better. Exercise is key. A good workout--I mean really sweaty, tiring, all-out workout does more to lift my spirits than anything. I plan on an hour of cardio tomorrow, doing a Gilad tape I got at a thrift store.

NSVs and Other Stuff

NSV #1: I wore real shoes today. I had an old pair of tennis shoe-like bootish looking things that I used to wear a lot. I kept them hoping I'd fit into them again some day. The past couple years my feet have been so swollen I couldn't wear them. So for the first time in a couple years this morning, I put them on and wore them all day long. Gone are the days I wear my mules with no socks because I have to, but can now wear real shoes out and about. (I still love my mules, though.)

My tennies I wear to work out in are too big now and my feet slide around in them. I need new shoes. I've mentioned this before. I looked at several pair today but walked out of the store empty handed. Will look again.

NSV #2: This is a BIG one for me. Said shoes that I wore today became untied when we walked into Barnes and Noble. In the store, in front of Christmas crowds, I bent over and tied my shoes. Only someone morbidly obese can get the significance of that. I didn't have to throw a leg out to the side in order to bend over. I didn't look like a fool. I didn't have to prop my foot up on something. I BENT OVER AND TIED MY SHOE -- IN PUBLIC NO LESS. Yes, I'm shouting. This was one of my biggest goals!!!!

NSV #3: Last night I was getting ready for bed and was playing before and after in the mirror. You know, suck the stomach in for the after, let it all hang out for the before! lol The fact is, I can now suck my stomach in. I couldn't before. As I was doing this, my husband walked into the bedroom. He was amazed and congratulated me. He knew I couldn't suck it in before. It was pretty darned cool! I can really lose inches doing that! Too bad I can't walk around all day like that! I know for sure I'll be that way for real sometime next year!

My kiddo had two dental appointments today. He is healing up beautifully, no longer has to rinse every hour with salt water--a huge deal for him, and he had some special brace thing put on his braces around the surgery area. He's happy. When he's happy, I'm happy.

We had some time to kill between appointments and so we shopped a little and ate out at my favorite place, The Olive Garden. I'm glad it's an hour away, otherwise I'd be in trouble! Then we hit a couple thrift stores. For years and years, I have wanted an old-fashioned blow mold nativity set for the front yard. I'm a vintage freak and love those things. I've looked and looked always coming up empty handed.

Today, at one of the thrift stores, I spotted it--the complete set, including the three wise men and a camel. We raced to the back of the store and some #&*($ man beat me to it. He bought it all. Fair is fair, he was there first. All Christmas stuff was 50% off, and he got that set for under $30. I almost cried! Then I said to him his yard would look great and he had the nerve to tell me he didn't want it, he has a shop and will re-sell it. ARRRGGGHH!!!!!!! He did leave behind a 3-foot Santa without the light which I promptly snatched up for $4. Just have to find a light to fit it, and it's in great shape. So I didn't leave empty handed, but....I will always remember this day and always be a little ticked I didn't get there first! lol

Blow molds, by the way, are the (tacky?)plastic decorations with lights inside. I never knew the technical term of blow mold until I got my first Empire pumpkin this past Halloween.

My husband has taken vacation for THE REST OF THE YEAR. Oh my Lord! It's very difficult to do school with him here as the flow just doesn't, um, flow. Granted two weeks of this we had planned on being off for Christmas break, but we still have the rest of the week to get through. When I mentioned this, he informed me I wasn't making him feel welcome in his own home. Sorry! It's just that when he's here, I'm in relax mode. Or let's get this project done mode, and NOT school mode. Oy!

I'll have to make him some Snickerdoodles to make him feel welcome in his own home!

Monday Morning Weigh In + Twist

223

Another 0. Stay the same. Ugh.

Twist:
I've given this a lot of thought. I have become scale obsessed.

I compare myself, my rate of losing, to the time I did Weight Watchers seven years ago. I was in my 30s then and lost at a faster rate. It makes me feel bad that I'm getting old and not losing as fast.

I compare myself to other bloggers, others who are losing fast! While I'm very happy for them, I let myself get worked up that I'm not losing fast.

By becoming scale obsessed, I have taken the focus from improved health to a number on the scale. I have made a positive thing, this journey, into a negative. The whole purpose of this journey is to improve my health. I've never been one with the focus of becoming super thin, sexy, blah blah blah. My whole desire was to improve my quality of life, to feel better, to have more energy, and to be fit. With that comes looking better, looking better in clothes. I've lost sight of my goal.

I do feel better. I do some incredible workouts. I have more energy from the minute I wake up. I don't feel tired, achy, and full of pain in the morning. My hips no longer throb. My back may hurt a time or two, but I can deal with the pain on my foam roller. So I've done what I set out to do: improved my health.

I'm not where I want to be. I had a goal of losing 80-some pounds in this year. I wanted to be in onederland by now. I'm not. So what? I will get there.

This journey is mental and physical. I'm making great strides in both areas, but I have to admit that I've added stress to my life worrying about pounds lost per week.

So...from here on out, I'm going to weigh--drum roll--once a month. Oh, this is tough for me. Yet if this is a change of lifestyle, I really need to embrace what I'm doing: eating better, eating controlled portions, eating mini-meals and exercise. I've been good about celebrating the small changes in my body as they occur. I plan on continuing that. I need to work on stress reduction, and every single day I worry about the number on the scale.

That number on the scale is just a number. My fitness has improved drastically. I've built muscle. I'm getting stronger. I am losing. I've lost almost 60 pounds this year. That is fantastic. It's not "only" 60 pounds, it is a "wonderful" 60 pounds.

I didn't plan for this weight loss thing to take so long. I figured I'd lose what I needed in about a year and a half. Well, time doesn't matter...what matters is I am losing.

So time to take some of the stress I've done to myself and throw it out the window. From now on, I'll do a monthly weigh-in sometime around the middle of the month. Well, I may do an end-of-year weigh in just because, but I just need to lighten up a bit, quit being so hard on myself!

So physically improving and mentally improving: That's a good thing!

Don't Swallow Bubble Gum

Hubby's Home

He's home, and all is well with the world. I don't know who was more excited to see hubby, DS and I or the dogs! =)

Got a great workout in today, ate well, had a good school day.

Now life can get back to normal.

I'm Feeling Better

My attitude is improving. I think getting physical helped, plus I gave myself a talking to. Hubby is coming home tomorrow. I'll be nervous until he pulls up in the driveway. Then I'll be happy.

I got a workout in today--actually two. Did a 30-minute Cathe step tape and then a Richard Simmons tape. Gosh, my calorie burn was so low with the RS tape. That tells me my fitness has greatly improved. I'm doing some tough stuff, and RS used to make me sweat, it's pretty darned easy now. I've come a long way since 282.5! I've had the sweat-soaked clothing every time I worked out to get me there, though: Hard work!

December, January and February are always hard months for me. I think part of it is that my Mom is gone, and I miss her so badly at Christmas. She's been gone 16 years. I never missed a Christmas with her when she was alive. She was always happy at Christmas, and she always made it special. This will be our second Christmas without my Dad. I just miss my parents a lot right now. When I gave myself a talkin' to, I basically was thinking that I need to accept it, get over my pissy mood, and be happy for my son's sake. I usually fake it, but I'm tense--this time I didn't fake it very well. I'm better now, thankfully.

January and February are difficult months for me because it's so darned cold here. I've lived in Wyoming, Colorado and South Dakota--I'm no stranger to cold. Yet where we live now is much colder. If you've ever seen the movie Grumpy Old Men, that's what my town is like in the winter. Our town lakes are covered with ice huts, and believe me, there are more grumpy old men here than anywhere I've ever lived. Cold will do that to you. ;-) There are grumpy women, too. (Me!)

By spring I'm climbing the walls, craving 20- or 30-degree weather. It's like a heat wave after we've experienced all the below zero winter freezer conditions.

Anyway, I have that "dread" of cold hanging over my shoulder in December. But why wait? We're having below zero weather right now--at least the windchill is below zero.

UGH.

I want to move to South Carolina. Then all I'd have to worry about would be hurricanes. And palmetto bugs. And the nasty heat and humidity in the summer. lol

It's always something.

Celebrating Blogging Friends

Oh my stars...another great celebration!

SeaShore has lost 100 pounds.

I'm just giddy for her!

Go wish her congrats!

Way to go!

Jo v. Snow Round 2 Jo WINS

I have no idea of a calorie burn this time.

I figured out the snow blower! Yay. I have a love/hate relationship with it--it's a big one and hard to maneuver. But it did the second half in about half the time. (I must shovel pretty darned fast!)

I will admit that I muttered every bad word I know several times this afternoon. lol I think a couple of times I slipped up and said them loudly. That comes with the territory and I make no apologies for my swearing today. :-D

Jo v. Snow Round 1

driveway halfway done. son helping. taking a water and rest break.

55 minutes

454 calories burned

zone 1 - 2 min
zone 2 - 34 min
zone 3 - 19 min

having the hrm is wonderful so i can check and stop and rest

Bad Moods Make me HUNGRY

I went over my calorie allotment tonight by 200 calories. I'm okay for the week because I zigzag and I'll just swap a high day, but it was stress induced.

I have got to get a handle on the stress eating. No, I'm not eating a bag of cookies, a pan of brownies, chocolate or crap, but still.

Someone hurt my feelings so badly today that I cried. No, I didn't cry, I sobbed. It really crushed my spirit, and my spirit has been rather rocky the last two weeks anyway.

The wind has finally picked up. We don't shovel here until the storm is over when there is wind involved--it's futile to do so. School let out early today and it's already closed for tomorrow. We'll do school anyway just because we've missed a few days due to hubby taking a week off and then DS's surgery. I just hope the electricity stays on so I can do laundry and stay warm.

Life is full of ups and downs. I left a comment on a blog tonight agreeing with the fact that we only know what bloggers tell us. I would really like to open up about what hurt my feelings so badly today, but I won't because it's just too--too public here. The truth is life is messy. I freely blog about anxiety, stress and worries, but I do not blog about people issues, hurts, fights and that kind fo thing. They're normal occurrences, and that's a part of life that sucks.

So another day of no exercise for me today, another pissy attitude day for me. My son gave me the most wonderful shoulder rub for a half hour tonight--he's such a good kid. I was all dressed and ready to do my workout today when I got the phone call where someone was basically a big ass, and I just lost the desire to work out--probably because I was crying so hard. Three days in a row now I've missed. If I get only one thing done tomorrow, it will be a workout!

And life goes on. It's days/weeks like these that make the mundane and good times even better. lol I prefer smooth sailing, myself with fewer ups and downs. We don't always get what we want.

Sending safe vibes to everyone who is in blizzard territory. It's a very wide spread storm. Reminds me of growing up in Wyoming where the wind always blows.

Jo,
the pissy pessimistic party pooper

Blizzard Warning

We're in a blizzard warning today and tomorrow. It officially starts at noon. It's snowing now--a very beautiful snowfall, a perfect winter scene. The wind is due to kick up which is what will cause problems.

Yesterday DS and I left the house at 2, which is something we never do, go out during school hours unless we're doing something school related or a medical appointment. We went to the grocery store. So did everyone else. The store was a nightmare. We have a very high elderly population in my town, and they were all at the Hy-Vee with us. (Their presence slows those of us who are speed shoppers down.) Everyone was getting stocked up.

We're all set. We have food and the pets have food. The shovels are ready, the snow blower is sitting there, hubby having filled its tank and started it up before he left. This is the only part I dread of the upcoming blizzard. I really struggle running that snow blower. Most times when hubby is out of town and it snows, my son and I just shovel the driveway by hand. When this is all over, we're supposed to get 7-11 inches. With the blowing wind, that means a lot more snow than 7-11 inches to shovel. Yuck.

Hubby was supposed to come home mid-week. We both decided that was no good, because he'd be driving through the blizzard, so he'll be coming home at the end of the week. I just want him here. I miss him.

My stress level has been high with him gone. Last night I had a ferocious headache. I have not worked out the past two days. That is a huge stress reliever, but I just didn't have much energy the past few days. Stress does that to me. Today I will get my workout in, though, as we have no where to go. I'm sure it will make me feel better.

I anticipate a workout with shoveling. Even if I do get the snow blower running (it's only a couple years old and in good shape, I just struggle with the thing) we'll still have to shovel parts by hand. I plan on wearing my heart rate monitor and seeing how my heart does and what kind of calorie burn I get!

Bring it on--let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Well, No Wonder...

I've been feeling extremely guilty lately about he fact I'm very behind on blog reading. Last week I was a nervous wreck with DS's surgery and didn't read blogs. I've also been on edge due to hubby being out of town. When I'm like this, I kick into an ADD mode--I can't sit still for a long period of time to catch up. I'll go to a couple blogs, read, and then realize I've spent too much time. Then I look at the list of posts I haven't read and get overwhelmed.

Yesterday I decided to organize my blogs I follow. I have been happy with Google Reader, but you can't organize what you follow. (That I know of.) I have used bloglines for a few years as I followed homeschool and vintage blogs. So I decided to put all the weight loss/fitness blogs I read into bloglines.

Keeping in mind we were doing school so I couldn't just sit and work til done, this little project took me the entire day. (Probably would have taken an hour or two at the most had I not been preoccupied.) I haven't even organized them into folders yet, they're just there. If it took me the whole day to enter all the blogs I follow, well no wonder I can't keep up!

I follow over 200 weight loss and fitness blogs.

And at this point I need to say this: I looked at my own followers, and the number hit me. I have over 200 followers. WOW. This amazes me, it touches me, and it bewilders me. I am so thankful so many people follow my journey. The support is fantastic. It is a big part of my success in my personal journey. I extend a very humble thank you.

The bottom line is when I realized how many blogs I follow, I also realized that I just can't comment on everything. I like to read, I like to comment, but I just don't have the time to do so plus keep up my own blog.

I enjoy following bloggers, getting to know them with what they share. I really care about people and wish them success on their journey. I get sad when they are sad or struggle. I get elated when they have great victories. It's a new and different kind of friendship. You only know what people choose to share, but I gain so much from reading blogs.

I feel a bit defeated in realizing that I just won't be able to comment on as much as I would like to. But I will read, smile, and take bits and pieces with me on my own journey. I'm also feeling a bit less guilty when I realized how many blogs I follow and why I get behind easily.

So thank you for all the support you give me, and know that I follow and will try to drop a word in when I can, but I will get caught up and I enjoy following your journeys.

Monday Morning Weigh In

223

Down .5

It all adds up, so I'll take it!

I'm Okay =)

Just having a quiet weekend. Haven't hit blogs, I'm desperately behind. Just staying low. Had another mild anxiety attack today out of the blue. Ugh. Xanax is a wonderful thing IF and WHEN I recognize I need it.

A note to Molly: I started with Weight Watchers. I have done it until about October when I started doing both WW and counting calories. I bought Calorie King's tracker which I love and find it so much easier and user friendly than Weight Watchers online that I canceled my subscription to Weight Watchers. Right now I'm using my BMR to calculate my caloric need--and zigzagging my calories. This post explains it. I'm going to do this for awhile, and if I like it continue. If I don't, I'll go back to Weight Watchers. I am just bound and determined to get healthy and improve my quality of life, so that's why I keep on plugging away. Of course I am in love with exercising now, especially since I've found workouts that were made just for me. lol

Thank you to everyone for the blog awards. I'll get caught up this week and post and share them.

And with that, I think I'll call it a night. Have a great weekend everyone.

Sometimes I Just Don't Get It!!!

I need to really listen to my body. This week I didn't hear what was going on--until this afternoon.

DS's surgery was Monday. Tuesday, my hubby left to work out of town. I don't like sharing that info until he's home safe and sound, so I'm breaking a rule here. I had "the pain" issues this week, plus a period.

Sometimes I am just dense. Every period I seem to get an anxiety attack. I was marveling how I was able to get through DS's surgery without a Xanax. I made it through Tuesday until hubby called to let me know he'd arrived at his destination. I had "the pain" and I felt light-headed many times through the week. I felt off. I kept thinking it was related to the pain.

Hit me with a 2x4. Why, as someone who has suffered with anxiety issues, do I NOT see it?

As DS and I were finishing decorating our tree this afternoon, I started shaking and feeling light headed. The shaking is when it dawned on me--this is a panic attack. I took a Xanax, and a half hour later my shoulders dropped from my ears into normal position, the shaking stopped, my breathing became normal and the light-headedness left. I'm still a bit jumpy, but good grief, I feel better.

I have really struggled this week. Those who read my blog may have noticed I haven't been reading their blogs this week. I sit down to the computer and I just can't focus, so I get up. I tried to read blogs earlier, read two, posted, then had to stop.

DUH

When is this stupid anxiety going to leave me? When will I be able to lead a normal life? If I have to have the stupid anxiety, when will I "get it" and realize I'm having anxiety? Had I recognized it earlier, I would have been taking Xanax. I could have taken a half a pill and probably thwarted it--or at least alleviated the scary symptoms. When I don't see things for what they are, it comes on fast and furious and a real full-blown panic attack starts. That is just the worst feeling to me--scary.

Now I know.

Just a note to myself: When your son has surgery, it's a big deal. When your hubby leaves town, it's a big deal. Christmas, and memories, missing my parents=big deal. Pay attention!

I had planned on doing my workout about now. Not gonna happen after taking a Xanax. Instead I'll probably curl up and take a nap--which will further help me relax. I can work out tonight.

I also ate lunch when the panic attack came on. I hadn't eaten anything since this morning, and that broke my eat-every-three-hours rule. Low blood sugar does not help matters.

At least I hadn't baked cookies--I probably would have gobbled them up.

I may be slow to realize what's going on, but now that I see it, I can change my ways to take care of myself. Nap, eating often, and a good workout are great ways to help, so all three will be done.

UGH

Celebrating Blogging Friends

I love to celebrate my blogging friends' victories! I get all teary eyed because I am so happy for them!

Pam has a huge victory, she has lost 100 pounds!!!!

Go give her a congrats!

Way to go, Pam!

A Little Low Tonight

I'm bummed. I wanted to work out today, but my body told me otherwise.

"The pain" that I've talked about since I started this blog, that I've had off and on for years, visited me today. It was so bad I would break out in a sweat a time or two. I believe it's probably an ovarian cyst, or something female related.

Three different doctors and still no diagnosis. I need to schedule an appointment, because the truth is, the pain has been with me for almost two weeks now. It has been annoying but not enough to stop me from working out up until today.

This sucks.

On a good note, I had my lovely 2-day period. That uterine ablation worked wonders. No longer am I on the couch with the heating pad for a day or two with cramps. No, that just happens when the cyst pain is there like today. lol I am thrilled with the results from my surgery this summer--beyond thrilled. We just need to figure out this stupid pain thing and things will be good.

On another good note, my Christmas present came. I know what it is because I ordered it--under DH's instruction to do so. I opened it, but my son made me promise to not use it. Hubby made me promise to not put one foot on it.

I simply had to open it because you just never know if something gets messed up in shipping, and I had to check and see that it was all in one piece--or rather, that the several pieces were in tact. Ahem. I'm so bad. Do I share what it is or wait til Christmas? I'll wait for Christmas, but it's exactly what I wanted, came in three boxes, and takes up a lot of room. Plus, it's fitness related. lol There's actually three different things.

One final note. I share a lot about buying this and that. I have spent a lot of money in the past few months on fitness stuff. That's coming to a halt as of Christmas. I'm excited to get stuff--and even more excited that I'm using it all--that we're all using it, and I don't share by means of bragging. We couldn't normally afford this stuff, but my dad left me some "fun money." I have spent almost all the fun money on my fitness stuff and don't regret one dime of it. So no, we're not money bags or well off or any of that. It's been a rough two years with all the sorrow I've gone through, and I kind of had a lot of joy buying the rebounder, the cheap used bike, the videos, the heart monitor, etc. I'm worth it, and it really lifted my spirits to be able to get this stuff. And like I said, I'm using it--and loving it! I know my mom and dad would be very happy with how I've spent the money.

Here's to tomorrow, may it be pain free and a great day for all of us, and may we all get a great workout in!

Heart Rate Monitor

I got a new "toy." I got a Polar Heart Rate Monitor. I'm loving it.

I had no idea what to get, but I wanted to know what my heart was doing, and I wanted a better idea of what my calorie burn was. I had my husband find me a monitor because it was all Greek to me. I ended up with a Polar FT60. Hubby picked that because you can change the batter yourself, and he thought my old eyes would have an easier time seeing the display. It was a bit more expensive than I wanted to pay, but well worth it.

I had balked at both BodyBuggs, GoWearFits and heart rate monitors because I thought all three would be uncomfortable. I just couldn't wear an arm band all day, even though the calorie burn is supposed to be more accurate. I didn't think I'd like a chest strap with a HRM, but I was wrong. I cannot feel it when it's on. It's very comfortable. I was also nervous it wouldn't fit and I'd have to order a larger strap. Nope, had to take it in to fit me!

When I'm working out, I switch the watch to show the zone I'm working in. My heart rate is very important to me and I'm not the best at perceiving my exertion. This is great for me to watch, telling me when to push it a little more and when to back off. I love it, actually.

The calorie burn feature is great as well. I always knew those calorie charts all over the internet must be crazy, and boy was I right. My workouts are way lower than what they suggest. The workouts I've done since obtaining my HRM:

The Firm The Tortoise: 345 calories burned
The Firm's Volume 6: 226
The Firm's Not So Tough Aerobics: 251
Jari Love's Ripped and Chiseled: 219 (and this was a killer!)
Rebounder jogging with 3-pound weights for 20 minutes: 177

This was an eye opener for sure. So my goals have changed a bit. I am going to try to workout 6 days a week instead of 5, and I am also going to try for 20 minutes on either the rebounder or the bike daily in addition to the workout tape. These I can do in 10-minute chunks. I'm not going any more than that. I only want to do what I can maintain for life, and I love doing my tapes and it's very easy to hop on the rebounder for a quick 10-minute jog. The bike will be a bit more difficult for me, only because it's in our basement. I'm thinking I can use it on laundry days when I'm downstairs. =)

My heart rate monitor gave me a fitness test. I was a little shocked with the results, as I thought I was fitter--a wee bit at least. I scored a 27, which is fair for my age. I'd hate to know what it was when I was at 282 and before I found The Firm. So while this was shocking, it is yet another way for me to watch and improve my fitness. I'm going to keep on plugging away as I have been and hope my fitness continues to improve.

I was very afraid I'd become obsessed with my new toy. And I was. I decided to allow myself to be obsessed with it for a good, solid week. I watched the watch constantly during workouts. That was partly to learn my zones, and partly because it was fun to watch. If I had a second, I'd switch to see the calorie burn. I think I'm over the obsession now, as I don't care about the calories during a workout now. I just occasionally glance to see what zone I'm in.

I'm very pleased with my purchase, and I plan to use this every time I work out. I am glad I didn't get it sooner, because with a fitness score in the fair category, it may have crushed and overwhelmed me had I got this when I didn't hit the fair category--as I know I was below this.

Here's a link to my HRM. I was very shocked, as the price has gone up $20 from what I paid for it a couple weeks ago!

Tuesday Morning Weigh-In

I may be a day late and a dollar short, but fortunately, I'm also two pounds short. Forgot to weigh yesterday.

Weight: 223.5
Loss: 2 pounds

Yay!

~~~~~

DS had a Tylenol & Codeine pill last night. It took his pain away and wound him up tighter than an 8-day clock. He was wide awake and loquacious. Finally he drifted to sleep about 4:30 in the morning. Ugh, another short-on-sleep night for me. When he got up this morning he informed me he doesn't want to take the codeine unless he has to. His pain is mild, so fortunately he won't be higher than a kite today.

Home, Safe and Sound

All went well. Whew.

My sweet son cried and shook, he was so scared. The oral surgeon was absolutely fantastic with him--patient yet leading him in what to do. I went into the surgery room while they covered him up, attached the monitors, etc. My son was squeezing my hand so hard I thought I'd lose the tips of my fingers. Then the doctor said I would stay until he was asleep. That shocked me.

That was the weirdest experience of my life! They put him to sleep right then and there, the surgeon asking him what he ate for Thanksgiving. I watched his eyes get droopy, his fingers never quit squeezing. It took about two minutes--much longer than I remembered with my last surgery. He looked so peaceful lying there--yet it was also kind of creepy.

I had to pry my son's hand off mine so I could leave. The doctor pointed to his cheek, told me to kiss it, and he would take good care of my son.

When he woke up, they shoved him out the door. lol I just hate how they do that! They did it with me, too. I think an extra hour, so a person is really awake, would be nice. Yet the experience wasn't that bad.

My son may say differently, as he started hurting on the way home, and couldn't eat the Frosty we got him which they told us he'd be able to eat. He was bleeding, and he followed me in that he was whiny, crabby and mad. Got home, hubby got the medications and when they kicked in, he was wide awake, feeling much better, had his melted Frosty, pudding and a Carnation Instant Breakfast. He's lying on the couch watching TV with his Dad at the moment.

We'll start school again Wednesday, as I think he might be sore tomorrow.

Now, how did Mom handle it? Well, I put on a brave face, smiled, reassured this was totally safe and that DS would be fine. All the while I was freaking out inside thinking, "What if it isn't fine and I lied to my child?" Watching him go out was creepy--while I found it absolutely fascinating to watch the pros at work doing their job, I don't know that I'd like to witness that again.

When we went to get the Frosty, I was starved. I got a burger and fries. I haven't had a fast food burger and fries in MONTHS. The burger was fantastic. The fries? Awful! They were so full of salt, cold, tasteless. I ate them anyway because I was hungry. Forget about the safe snack that was in my purse. 640 calories for my lunch. I don't regret it, but it was emotional eating because I did have something with me.

Driving home, I kept sighing. I felt as each muscle group in my body was giving way at a different time. All the stress released and it was just odd. My husband kept looking at me as I was driving, because I would do a loud sigh and then shake my arm. It was strange. To top that weirdness off, I did not sleep last night. I slept from 12-2, woke up and couldn't sleep. About 4:30 I drifted off again to wake at a little after 6. I don't do well without a full night's sleep.

The best thing is it's all done and over. Whew. For my health, I learned I really need to keep the Calorie King book I bought to carry in the car--in the car. I didn't have it. If I had, I would have had 2 singles for 440 calories instead of 1 at 220 and fries at 42o. I didn't know calorie counts or WW Points for either item, because I haven't eating that way since January.

What a day. All I know is my baby is not in pain, he's resting comfortably, that he was able to eat a bit, and that he should recover fairly quickly. We survived.

Thank you for positive thoughts and prayers. They were greatly appreciated.

Oral Surgery

My baby, er, teenager's oral surgery is tomorrow. Would appreciate good vibes, positive thoughts and prayers. I guess the only thing that really makes us nervous is the anesthesia and possibility of a seizure. Otherwise, I think it's a pretty minor surgery but will take a few days for him to eat normally. My son tends to be like me, a Wendy Whiner, so recovery will be interesting. I shouldn't say that--many times he's like his father and makes no complaints whatsoever when he's sick. Hmm--wonder which it will be.

We're hitting the store in a bit to stock up on ice cream, eggs, cottage cheese, yogurt, pudding, Spaghetti O's--that's just for me! Just kidding. lol I have a few other soft foods on my list, plus DH and my menu stuff.

Nothing new here. Don't know if I'll report my weigh in tomorrow morning or not as we have to leave early.

Behind on blogs again, but my laundry is all done, the bills are paid, the house picked up, the menu and grocery list made, etc. It's amazing when I don't spend time on the computer how much I get done around the house. Yet I miss reading blogs terribly. I need to find a happy medium.

Well, off to the store.

I'm So Tired

We went to Wally World and got what we were wanting. We had to wait in a line in the electronics department, and were fourth in line. The line was very long, and everyone wanted Playstation 3's, and there were only about 20 by our count. Then a clerk came up, let some guy buy one who wasn't in line. She opened a different register. Even though we were assured ours, my husband who has a booming voice raised a STINK! And rightly so. And so the crowd followed. The clerk who did that disappeared FAST. lol I feel really bad for the people in line who weren't going to get one.

I really detest that kind of shopping, but it was a really good deal and worth it. As I figured, honey took off and made it to the electronics department probably 3 minutes before I did, which is why we were in such a good spot in line.

Came home starving, ate a bowl of cereal, putzed a bit, then about 7:30 took a nap. Woke at 11 and ate a light lunch and have been zoning ever since. I do not do well with little sleep.

Right now I'm tyring to pass time waiting for the mailman, as we're expecting a delivery that I have to sign for. If it weren't for that, I'd be in bed sleeping.

I was going to do our Christmas decorating today--too tired. I'm too tired to read. I've just been sitting, going over my Christmas list, and watching out the window for the mailman. Knowing my luck, he'll be a couple hours late because no mail was delivered yesterday. He's always late on such days.

I forgot to mention one thing in my last post. The other thing I'm doing is eating every three hours. That is very difficult for me to do. In fact, I don't like to eat in the mornings--I usually wait a few hours. Food just is very unappealing to me in the mornings. So I've been eating earlier, and as a result, I do ge hungrier quicker. Always try to eat a healthy portion of protein every time I eat.

Tock tock, hurry up mail man, I'm about to drop. I probably won't sleep tonight. It will probably take me most of the weekend to recover from my sleepless night. Ugh.

I have not wokred out today. I don't know that I have the energy to do so. Hopefully after a nap I will. I didn't want to miss today, but sometimes you have to go with what your body is telling you. If I were to start right now, my form would be horrid, and I wouldn't have energy to do much. Futile.

The "P" Word

Plateau. Such an ugly word to someone trying to reduce their weight. I think I've been in a plateau, as I had 20 some days straight where I was 227 pounds.

I started researching and have tried something different. I think I have really screwed my metabolism up. I was eating my Weight Watchers points allowance, but I hardly ever ate the 35 extra points. I think I was eating too little.

My weight loss has been slow. I know that because I kept my records from 2001 when I lost and ate my points and my flex points and I kept my charts. I also know that comparing myself to other bloggers, I'm getting smoked! That's okay--I'm so happy people are having such great losses. I've just been perplexed as to why mine have been so slow.

So, what I've done is figured my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) here, which for my height of 5'5", weight of 225, and age of 44, is 1732.45. That is what I need to live each day in a resting state.

Then, I plug my numbers into a BMI calculator here. This gives me a number of 2680.25. With this number, I can calculate my calories needed daily. Because I work out 5 times a week, I multiply this number by 1.55, giving me a total of 2689.25. This is what I can consume each day to remain at 225. Well, who wants that? From here, you reduce calories.

Now Bbubblyb (Dawn) suggested an ebook to me a long time ago, which I finally bought a couple weeks ago. I have not read it all, but I did read through the calories portion. If I am satisfied with how this works, I'll share the link in a later post. At any rate, the author says to reduce you calories by 20 percent an start there. If you have a lot of weight to lose, try 30 percent. For me, a 30% reduction would give me 1882 calories per day. That's what I've been eating.

The author further says that to keep your metabolism working, to eat three days at your maintenance number, then three days at your reduced number. I cannot bring myself to eat 2600 calories a day. So I've been doing 3 days at 2200-2400 and then 3days in the 1800s.

Doing this is what broke my 227 streak. My weigh in on Monday was 225.5. This morning I was at 225. (Or I guess that is Thursday morning.) The days I eat high, it stays the same.

So I'm going to continue this for a good month or so. For awhile I was doing WW points and calories, but now I'm just counting calories. We'll just have to see how this works. And I may tweak it a bit as time goes on, too.

I have not read yet how exercise comes into play expect that the author says it's better to get your calorie reduction through exercise than through diet to save your metabolism.

This is my on-going experiment. I hesitated to share it in case I gain or fall flat on my face. But I'm pretty open and honest about what all I'm doing, so if it works--and I'd say it did work to break that mini-plateau I had, maybe it will help someone else.

I am also learning, by scouring the internet, that changing our exercise routine is very important. That's why I am asking for Jari Loves for Christmas. They are very different than the Firm, and I will alternate. I do like Jari Love very much--she's different, it's a dark setting, kind of cool music not something that I would choose, but so far the Get Ripped DVD I've been doing from the library has been fantastic. I alternate aerobics with her DVDs. I'll switch and go back to the Firm for sculpting work in a week or two. I did buy Jari's rotation. It irks me that you have to buy her rotations!, but her videos are so reasonably priced I guess I can't complain too much.

So that's what I'm doing--and putting it here for everyone to see. lol

Time will tell. I did come to a realization, though. As much as I want to lose this extra weight quickly, I've decided to relax a bit and ENJOY THE JOURNEY. I will get there. While it's a race to get my health improved, life is not a race. This journey is not a race. I didn't put all this weight on in a year, it came on over time, and that's how it will come off.

I have always enjoyed exercising when I would make myself do it. Now? I LOVE it. It is just as automatic as showering, brushing my teeth, and eating. Hopefully I'll get up to six days a week instead of five--but those five days a week are fantastic.

Midnight Hours

Ever have nights you can't sleep? Tonight I went to bed at 10, with my alarm set for 3:30. At midnight, I woke up and was wide awake. I stayed in bed trying to lull myself back to sleep, but I couldn't. It was if I had a refreshing 2-hour nap.

So I got up.

I have cleaned the bathroom, gathered all the laundry, sorted all the laundry, folded what was left in the dryer, started the laundry...

I have emptied the dishwasher, did the remaining dishes from tonight, have super-duper cleaned my mixer as it was getting icky, and scrubbed my stove.

I have caught up on a few blogs.

I have balanced my checkbook.

I have made my Christmas list.

I have made a pot of coffee and decided to stay up, hit the shower around 3-ish, and stay up until we hit the store. I can sleep tomorrow. Yuck, but what's a girl to do? I got more done with my two boys asleep than I could have in a whole day with them under foot.

We went to Black Friday sales once several years ago. We had three things to buy: a TV, a quilt, and a something I forget. It was a nightmare. Our son was with us and he was young, and I had to hang on tight to him. People were crazy. My husband went for the TV, and would you belive they were stacked high with no clerk in sight? What happened was he ended up getting a TV down and some poor woman begged him to get her one, and he ended up standing there for a bit grabbing TVs for people. He finally got frustrated, said screw it, and grabbed his TV and headed for checkout. I remember it took me and my son 15 minutes to get to the quilts, and I about had my hands cut from long fingernails as I grabbed what I wanted.

We decided then and there: NEVER AGAIN.

Well, this morning it is NEVER AGAIN.

Luckily, we have one thing to purchase. It's too good of a deal to pass up. We will be hitting Wally-World. I dread it.

The good thing is hubby is going with. He's 6'5" tall. He has a presence. People tend to get out of his way. He walks much faster than I do, so I'll have to put on my running shoes to catch up. We will make a bee-line for what we need, which is in the far back corner of the store, grab and go.

Hopefully it will be smooth sailing.

Then we'll come home, he'll stay up because he's a morning lark, I'll go to bed because I'm a night owl, and we'll see each other again around noon--I hope. lol

Do you all hit the Black Friday sales? There are sure some great bargains, but is it worth it? ??

Gobble, Gobble

I gobbled today. I took 1/2 cup of everything. My Thanksgiving meal came in at a whopping 909 calories, including pie and parfait. It was delish. I'm right on track, surprised that I planned my calories well!

The biggest hits? My pumpkin pies and the pudding parfaits I made. Hubby said it was the best pie he'd ever had. That's saying a lot, because it had no crust! The funny thing is I have always made one of "those" pies every year just for me, and regular pies for everyone else. Go figure.

The pudding parfaits--how silly, pudding and Cool Whip Lite, but it was a big hit. They were 175 calories and each piece of pumpkin pie was 116 calories, not counting Cool Whip. It's amazing how many calories are in Cool Whip. I would hate to think how many calories were consumed in years gone by with my little bit of pie to go with my Cool Whip!

I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving.

I am very thankful for all who follow my blog, for those who leave comments, and for those whose blogs I follow. I feel very rich with support and friendship. Thank you.

Cleaning Up My Mess...

I don't want anyone to think that I do these Firm workouts perfectly, just like the instructors and class participants! They are tough workouts.

Just tonight I did my very first ever (probably in 20 years) push up. I usually do them on my knees--girly push ups. Tonight, I did a real one and thought I'd die! But I did it! I couldn't have done another, but I was thrilled with one!

My philosophy is to do my best and push myself. The first time I did a Firm I thought I'd die. Weights, step, arm work? Forget it! I just did the foot moves. I just kept plugging away, building strength and endurance. I am up to 5- and 8-pound weights, although today I was so tired I used 3. Everyone has an off day now and then.

Over the course of almost three months, I have made amazing progress. I can do so much -- but I still have a lot of room to grow. That's why I love the Firm so much, because I don't think I'll ever outgrow these tapes. The cardio kicks my butt still, and the weight work--I can always go up with weights.

I'm not perfect or anywhere close. I just do my best and usually love every second of it.

When I did Jari Love for the first time the other day, I worked my arms to the point of exhaustion. I have never done that before. I didn't think I'd be able to finish, to lift one more time as I was shaking--but Jari encouraged and I did it. I had doms in my arms for two days following.

I look forward to mixing up my routine with an infusion of Jari Love and the Firm. Her workouts are so different--it's almost like starting over, even though I know most of the moves she's doing, she does them straight and the Firm mixes things up.

I don't expect perfection from myself at all, I just expect my best. I usually give my all, love it, and am very satisfied. It's absolutely amazing how quickly you can progress by just pushing yourself a little with each workout.

I don't know how I would do if there were suddenly a Firm class to go to--I'd be in the back row hiding. I'm sure I'd keep up and finish, but with modifications. That's how I've done them all along, and the modifications are getting fewer and fewer, my steps are getting higher as are my weights.

~~~~~~

And we will have Thanksgiving after all. I got my shopping done, although I was disappointed. Only tiny turkey breasts were to be found, expensive at that, so I bought a real bird. More work, but it will be good. I had to get a fresh bird so it would be thawed in time. Not smart waiting until the last minute!

Tuesday

We've all had a blah day. Rainy, overcast and ugly...ugh.

Anna Benson did indeed pass away, in Panama where she was living. She was 55. I keep thinking about it--there are no guarantees in life. Here she is, the woman who put home fitness on the map--she didn't start it, but she raised the bar, she preached good nutrition--boom, cancer.

Life is short, live it to the fullest each and every day.

We're not going to have Thanksgiving unless I get my lazy butt to the store. We're just going to have a turkey breast this year instead of a big bird. Yay. I'll whip up some fixings, and a few (yes, few) crustless pumpkin pies. I always make chocolate pie, but this year I'll do some pudding and cool whip in pretty glasses--whatever that is called. Sugar free for me, thank you.

~~~

Yesterday we bought a dirt-cheap, I mean practically giving it away--Schwinn Air-dyne. (Exercise bike.) It's older, but barely used. Hubby has cleaned it up--meaning oiling everything, doing guy stuff, and all three of us are in love.

I think it's a really good thing to not limit ourselves with our cardio. Me? I'd prefer to do a video every day. Yet I'm turning to that rebounder more often, and now we'll have the bike to use. That will be really nice when I don't want to pound my feet on the rebounder or with a video. I'm learning it's also very important to switch up our exercises. We can plateau with exercising just as we can with weight loss. I don't want my body to get used to only one thing, so this is a fantastic addition. That's why I've asked for Jari Love videos for Christmas as well--to switch things around.

My son didn't want anything to do with the bike, and last night we couldn't get him off the thing. It has been used so little that I'm sure it will last a couple years. I'm glad we stumbled upon it. This weekend hubby and I had mentioned that it would be nice to have one and then we just walked right into it! I'd say that's fate--especially because it was cheap!

I need to shower since I just worked out and then hit the grocery store!

Anna Benson

There is sad news on the fitness forums tonight. Confirmation is from friends of former FIRM instructors. So, it's still speculative and internet rumor, but the people reporting are people that I trust as well as you can trust anyone on the internet...

Anna Benson, the creator of The FIRM, my beloved exercise videos, has passed away due to stomach cancer.

When I did my give-away, I placed the order for the winner. Anna's assistant called me the day after I placed the order to confirm the address this was to be sent to, as it was different than mine. I must admit, I was giddy when I saw "Anna Benson" on my caller ID, even if it wasn't Anna herself. We chatted a bit (lovely conversation) and I asked what Anna was working on next. She paused, then said, "Well, Anna is -- Anna is working on it." I noted at the time there was a very strange sound in her voice when she mentioned this. I just assumed she didn't want to tell me as Firmies "gossip" a lot. Looking back, I know that pause and change of voice was because she knew Anna had cancer.

I would suspect that this is not a rumor and is true. I can only hope that it is a rumor. Nonetheless, I want to thank Anna Benson. While I was years late in finding her exercise videos, they have changed my life. I had an intense fear of weights, lifting, weight work. It was manly! The beauty of her productions, the femininity, the southern belle-feel, the grace--it all changed me forever. I now love weight work more than cardio.

In the few short months I have been working out to The FIRM tapes, I have become stronger, developed definition and physically and mentally felt better.

So Anna Benson will always live on in my heart, and I'll think of her every time I pop a tape or DVD in.

Rest in peace, Anna.

Monday Morning Weigh In

Weight: 225.5
Loss: -1.5

Body Fat: 43%
Loss: 1%


Wow, this weekend I was ready to declare the "P" word. Yup, I was going to call a plateau. I had been 227 since October 30. Sunday I slithered down to 226 and today was a nice surprise at 225.5.

Whew. Yay. I was tired of those zeros!

BONUS: Just checked my goal chart, and I have officially lost 20% of my body weight! I hit a major goal! Yay!

~~~
Hubby just shared his results with me:

Last week's weight: 230.5
This week's: 227.5

Loss: 3 pounds

Hubby is 6'5" tall and built well. He has no goal weight, but he wants to lose a little (he looks great around 220) and then he wants to start building muscle. So I'm sure he'll lose the little fat he has to lose, then start building muscle and going back up. =)

Yay for him! And what sucks for me is that he will pass me soon, and I will not be able to delight in the fact I weigh less than him. I will again, but we'll cross paths in there.

Healthy Family

When I started my personal fitness quest this past February, it was met with a tad bit of resistance. My husband confessed he didn't want to eat a bunch of diet food.

I was okay with that.

I see a lot of people in the weight loss community upset with spouses and children because they bring tempting foods into the home, and they consider it unsupportive. I get that, but that was never my mindset.

I'm a stubborn girl. I remembered when my husband wanted to do Atkins, and my thought was: There is no way in hell I'm going to eat like that. And I didn't. And it didn't bother him.

So as I started, I searched my recipe bank and scoured the internet for recipes we would all enjoy. It was rather limited, making sure we'd all eat something. We also had "free" nights where everyone would cook for themselves.

I never, ever looked at this as a lack of support. My family was very supportive and encouraging. They were proud of me. They would eat their indulgent food out of my eyesight. Again, I was fine with that.

I had the attitude that I'm doing this for me, and by choosing healthful meals we could all enjoy, everyone's health would improve.

I also knew what I was doing would be contagious. And I was right.

Somewhere along the line, everyone started watching calories and food groups. Everyone became aware. Unhealthy dishes were reduced greatly. There have still been indulgences, but they're farther and fewer between. And I'm okay with that.

Then I found The Firm and fell in love. I started workout out faithfully. My husband helped me pick out weights. He'd help me with form if I had a question. I mentioned I wanted a rebounder. And together, we researched rebounders and bought one.



When the rebounder arrived, everyone used it. It is still used on a daily basis. My husband gets all his cardio on the rebounder. He uses weights on it now while he's running on it. My son uses it for breaks during the day, and for his main cardio. I use it on occasion. It's funny, they use it more than I do, and we got it because I wanted it. I love it, and will bounce on it frequently through the day, but not as much as the boys. I prefer my exercise tapes.

There's some good cardio being done in this home.

Then my husband's 50th birthday approached. Even though we had a BowFlex (which I still hate), my husband wanted some free weights. Not just any free weights, but these Ironmaster things. Plus he wanted a quality bench. High-quality adjustable dumbbells, with a stand, and weight bench were ordered. You only turn 50 once.

Hubby has been working out every single day.

My son asked about weights, and would occasionally do his reading assignments in the living room while I was working out. I showed him some basic exercises. He now does light weight work.

We all work out now. We all work out with consistency, striving to improve our health. We are a fitness family.

Conversations in our home now are health related. We discuss weights, moves, books, equipment, websites--anything fitness related. It's amazing. It's fun. We discuss diet, quality foods, protein choices, how to improve. It's wonderful.

We have changed so much.

My husband and I have exercise-oriented Christmas lists. He wants a set of Rogue Rings. Santa whispered to me that his wish will come true. I want some Jari Love videos, so I can swap up my exercise routine so I don't plateau with exercise. It's good to change things up, but I still absolutely love my Firms. I also want a High Step. My son? He's 14, he still wants video games.

We have changed for the better. I'm taking full credit for it, too. I made the choice to get healthier. I made the choice to change my food, and eventually, to add exercise. I made the choice to not inflict it upon my family, because I knew they would revolt. It's one thing for me to make the decision to do things with my life, but I cannot make that decision for another adult. He had to be ready to improve on his own. And with my son, I made the choices to include recipes everyone would eat, so his food became healthier by default.

What happened was that as I was succeeding, it was inspiring to them. As I started working out, they both got the desire. I set the tone. I showed that getting healthier wasn't about deprivation, it was about freedom, it was fun, it was challenging, and was doable.

My attitude enabled them in a good way. Had I been complaining about them being unsupportive, unfair, not caring because they chose to have Lay's potato chips, ice cream, and other such indulgences in the home, it would have ticked them off. They would have been in a constant state of anger or frustration geared at me. Instead I chose to ignore it, to provide healthier meals, and be gentle with my approach. And it worked.

I can only control myself, what I put into my mouth, and if I exercise or not. To a certain degree I can control what my child does. Did it bother me having all those foods in the house? No. Well, only that they were making unhealthy choices. I was determined. Everywhere I turn, there are things I want: fast food restaurants, things in the grocery stores. I wanted health more than I wanted garbage food.

So I am thankful for many things. I am one to beat myself up a lot, but I will openly say here that I am thankful for my attitude. My gentle approach helped turn our family into a fitness family, a healthier choice family. I led be example. They didn't change overnight, but they did change. I will take credit for showing the way. They deserve credit for making good choices. They saw my success and applied it to themselves. It is a winning situation.

I am very proud of my husband and all his hard work. He doesn't have much to lose. He's always been fit. He's thinking about his food choices now, making changes for the better, and he works out. He has a series of mini-goals. He's on a mission. It just fills my heart with joy.

My son has a much better grasp on health, food, and working out. He's been doing his Wii Fit on a very frequent basis, using weights, and getting lots of cardio in. He's reading nutrition labels. He's learning to fuel is body properly.

Even though I still have a lot of weight left to lose, I can say with certainty: We are now a health-oriented family. For good. For ever and ever.

It's a wonderful thing.

Unexpected

Yesterday hubby called me from work to inform me he had vacation to burn up, so he'd be taking today and all of next week off. He only gets Thanksgiving day. This was quite a shock.

When he's home, school suffers. He throws off our routine--it just doesn't work. So I told my son we'd do two subjects each day, including math today, Mon and Tues. The rest of the week we had planned to take of.

What was unexpected was the relief it gave me to know we were going to be slack. It was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. It also gave me unexpected energy. Late yesterday afternoon and into the night, I started deep cleaning this kitchen with a vengeance. Everything moved, scrubbed, polished and sparkling. At supper, I refused to cook as I didn't want to mess up my work--I like to look at it for at least a half a day--and so we ate at Subway.

Today I've been doing things all around the house, worked out, catching up on laundry and relaxing. That relaxing is good for the soul.

Played Wii Fit with my son. When we got that a year ago, I hopped on in front of hubby and son and saw that weight shoot upto 280 and I could have died on the spot. Everyone saw the weight, the BMI and the stupid Mii blow up. I hated it ever since and never wanted anything to do with it. I suppose that was the holy sh*t moment for me, not realizing I had gained that much. I thought I was 260.

Anyway, my Wii age was 37--and I'm 44! I kicked butt on all the beginner strength moves. I played Wii step aerobics--easy, but it was beginner. I actually had fun. It took 55 pounds for me to get on it. I told my son we could play every night. No way would I count any of that as exercise, just counting it as fun. (Maybe the higher levels are more difficult?)

So it's going to be a great 10 days. Hubby home, light school, a chance for me to catch up and also relax.

What a lovely Thanksgiving it will be. And I am indeed very thankful!

Sore? Try this...

A foam roller.

I was reading blogs tonight and Shelley mentioned soreness. I totally forgot to mention my best trick to fight muscle soreness, or what I call DOMS.

I bought a foam roller at Target made by GoFit. I think it was under $20--it couldn't have been much more than that because I'm cheap. I bought this at the beginning of October.

It is a self-massage tool, it is a piece of heaven on earth. There are tons of videos on you tube on how to properly roll. You don't do your knees or your lower back. It's great for IT bands and everything else.

I roll every night before bed. I've learned it's not necessarily safe to do so in a night gown because I catch the gown and it rolls up. (Talk about exposure!) I also have to wear my hair in a ponytail before I roll, otherwise it will catch my hair.

This thing is fantastic. Where you're sore, you spend more time. You use your body weight and you actually engage your core while doing this. I would not be without my foam roller for anything. Gone are the days I beg for a back rub--I can give myself one.

There's some medical mumbo-jumo: it is used for myofascial release. Whatever--it works wonders with soreness.

Google it and check out the videos on You Tube. I absolutely love mine, and when I travel, it will go with me.

Doritos Casserole

I made Doritos Casserole for supper tonight. I've had this recipe a long time, but never made it because I didn't want to buy a bag of Doritos. Well, time for a change, so I tried it.

The original recipe did not call for refried beans, but we couldn't imagine the ingredients without, so I added a can.

The result: Really, really yummy. But, not a lot of food for the points. I was hungry after supper. It made six servings, so we'll have it again tomorrow night. I will plan ahead, so that I can have more calories for a side dish so I'm not so hungry.

The boys both asked this be added to our menus. I'm mixed--only because I was hungry. Flavor was great. Also, more processed foods than I'd like, but since we don't do that often, I won't worry too much.


This is really yummy served with shredded lettuce, fresh tomatoes and a dollop of light sour cream. (those items not included in recipe's nutritional info.)

* Exported for MasterCook 4 by Living Cookbook *

Doritos Casserole

Recipe By :
Serving Size : 6 Preparation Time:
Categories :


Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 pound 93% ground beef
1/2 pound velveeta light
2 Tbsp chili powder
1 can FF chicken soup
1 can diced tomatoes
6 ounces baked doritos
1 can refried beans

1. Brown ground beef, add chili powder, cream of
chicken soup, and tomatoes. (I also added cumin and onion powder, and lots of both.)

Crush Doritos and pour half into a 9x13 casserole dish sprayed
with Pam, add a layer of the meat mixture, half the cheese, another layer
of chips, then meat mixture and finish off with cheese.

Bake at
350-degrees for 30 minutes.

(Used real Velveeta light, which was a pain to slice thinly, however it tasted very yummy.)

Nutrition (calculated from recipe ingredients)
----------------------------------------------
Calories: 433
Calories From Fat: 128
Total Fat: 14.5g
Cholesterol: 17.8mg
Sodium: 1138mg
Potassium: 554.6mg
Carbohydrates: 48.3g
Fiber: 7.6g
Sugar: 5.2g
Protein: 27g


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