I guess I haven't blogged in awhile. Hmm. I'm usually vey loquatious.
Got a letter in the mail today from my insurance. I was approved for the genetic testing. (I think it's around $3,000.) The letter was dated May 3, so I'm wondering if they're just holding the blood to test until they receive word. If they are, they take two weeks...which means they'll probably start Monday and then it will be the end of the month.....
The uncertainty is driving me crazy. I will say it freaked me out reading that I was approved for this testing. I already knew my odds were high enough to be tested, but seeing it in print was weird. Still, the odds of having this mutated gene are not high. So yes, I have risk factors, but...crossing my fingers. Either way, my odds of breast and ovarian cancer just went up quite a bit, even without the genes.
On the weight front, the darned scale is not budging. Well, it goes up and down. Here we go again...hubby and I are noticing changes in my body. I have bones emerging that we haven't seen in years. lol But...that darned scale isn't showing it. Just tease me, so close to onederland. I know my body is changing and that's what counts.
I've decided to ramp up the exercise, pain or no. I was given the okay to work out, and I am learning to modify when I'm hurting. It's been a pretty painful week, but I've found my groove again. I think. Exercising is like taking an instant depression pill. Not that I'm depressed, just anxiously waiting for action, but it just lifts my spirits so much. So I'm planning on doubles.
Have started Cathe's STS again. I'm really enjoying it. It's very similar to P90X but it's Cathe, and, well, I just like it a lot more.
That's about it. It's been darned cold here, we're in a freeze alert, was supposed to snow last night and I don't know if it did or not, but it did frost. The heater has been running all week. What happened to spring?
Think I'll go back into my tunnel-vision, self-centered zone now. That's what happens to me when I get overwhelmed. ;-)
5.08.2010
5.05.2010
Call Me
Last Friday when they cancelled my surgery, I was told to call this week and see if the results were in. Knowing full well that those results will probably take two weeks, I decided to call today, Wednesday, figuring they wouldn't be in, but following orders. I wish they would just call me--that seems most logical.
So I called. The person I was to speak to wasn't there. They took my name and number and told me they'd call right back. I waited. I waited all day long. I did not work out because I did not want to miss the call. (Who wants to be breathless and winded on the phone?) Now it is evening and hubby is watching TV, and I don't have oomph to work out. So damn it, I missed my workout because I chose to wait for the phone to ring. Sheesh, I sound like a desperate teenager.
Tomorrow I'm going about my day. If I miss the call, I miss it. Whatever. They can leave a message. My day is not going to be messed up again. I figure they just don't have the results. I am not going to call again until next week.
Note to self: Let's just not forget that I'm still in pain here--the doctor said I know you're having pain, but...so true. I agree, this is important, but there is something wrong that is causing me this stupid pain.
I'm getting tired, grumpy and, well, bitchy. I've tried to quit complaining so much. I reminded hubby today that yes, I'm still in pain, have it right now at this very second, but I just don't need to announce it all the time. (When I just wanted to scream go the hell away, pain!)
Tick, tock goes the clock. I'm waiting. Impatiently. However, my time is valuable, too, and by golly, I'm working out tomorrow and not worrying about the phone.
So there. :-p~~~~
~~~
And on a brighter note, I realized I had not put my current weight into Calorie King for awhile and updated that tonight. Wowser, I dropped about 50 calories. I'm already over about 60 for the day. Ouch. Must remember to keep that current!
~~~
And seriously, on a brighter note, I ordered three more Christi Taylor exercise DVDs today. I love Mary at Total Fitness DVD, but Fitnessfly.com had them much cheaper. Plus, I had a code for 10% off, so I got three for the price of the two I was going to order through Mary or elsewhere. (And that's with Mary's 10% off code, which is 10OFF) To get a code for Fitnessfly, just sign up for their newsletter and they give you a code. =)
As if I need any more DVDs...I'm addicted. What a nice thing to have an addiction to! Better than food any day! I just couldn't help it, Christi is so sweet and fun, she even says please during her videos. lol I just find her so delightful.
So I called. The person I was to speak to wasn't there. They took my name and number and told me they'd call right back. I waited. I waited all day long. I did not work out because I did not want to miss the call. (Who wants to be breathless and winded on the phone?) Now it is evening and hubby is watching TV, and I don't have oomph to work out. So damn it, I missed my workout because I chose to wait for the phone to ring. Sheesh, I sound like a desperate teenager.
Tomorrow I'm going about my day. If I miss the call, I miss it. Whatever. They can leave a message. My day is not going to be messed up again. I figure they just don't have the results. I am not going to call again until next week.
Note to self: Let's just not forget that I'm still in pain here--the doctor said I know you're having pain, but...so true. I agree, this is important, but there is something wrong that is causing me this stupid pain.
I'm getting tired, grumpy and, well, bitchy. I've tried to quit complaining so much. I reminded hubby today that yes, I'm still in pain, have it right now at this very second, but I just don't need to announce it all the time. (When I just wanted to scream go the hell away, pain!)
Tick, tock goes the clock. I'm waiting. Impatiently. However, my time is valuable, too, and by golly, I'm working out tomorrow and not worrying about the phone.
So there. :-p~~~~
~~~
And on a brighter note, I realized I had not put my current weight into Calorie King for awhile and updated that tonight. Wowser, I dropped about 50 calories. I'm already over about 60 for the day. Ouch. Must remember to keep that current!
~~~
And seriously, on a brighter note, I ordered three more Christi Taylor exercise DVDs today. I love Mary at Total Fitness DVD, but Fitnessfly.com had them much cheaper. Plus, I had a code for 10% off, so I got three for the price of the two I was going to order through Mary or elsewhere. (And that's with Mary's 10% off code, which is 10OFF) To get a code for Fitnessfly, just sign up for their newsletter and they give you a code. =)
As if I need any more DVDs...I'm addicted. What a nice thing to have an addiction to! Better than food any day! I just couldn't help it, Christi is so sweet and fun, she even says please during her videos. lol I just find her so delightful.
5.04.2010
A Beautiful Sunset
Tonight I watched one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen. The colors in the sky were on fire and glowed so intently that the color inside the house changed. It was breathtaking. I'm not overly religious, don't go to church, but when I see such things it just makes me feel as if God is pouring His love on everything. =) It actually gives me goosebumps, as I find it highly spiritual.
I shall call the doc tomorrow to see if the results of my test are back. I doubt they are, I'm thinking at least two weeks from what I read online.
Feeling lost with my workouts...I'm going again, but I haven't done a strength workout in a long time. I can really see it in my body, too. Discussed this with hubby tonight. I had wanted to start Cathe's STS, and had done the first few workouts. Then I quit. Do I start, knowing I may have to quit for a bit due to surgery? And what kind of surgery will I have? So many unanswered questions. Hubby and I both decided if I have to stop, I'll stop, but it would be best for me to start STS again. I think that's a good decision.
I have fallen head over hills in love with Christi Taylor's Stepsational step aerobics DVD. I love her personality, the music she's chosen, and it's such a fun workout. Never thought I'd say this, but I love her as much as I love my Firms. I ordered two of her DVDs, did the second today, and it was more difficult for me but the music was great. I have a sneaky suspicion I'll be doing Stepsational frequently.
I have been thinking about stress a lot. Life's too short to get worked up over the little things and even some of the big things. I am one that gets worked up easily. The past few days I've been taking imaginary chill pills. Today I offered an imaginary chill pill to my son and he thought I'd lost my mind. I was just trying to be funny as he was stressing out over his math. The levity worked and he relaxed a bit. I am feeling so much better. I was really feeling squeezed by the world. Now my shoulders aren't next to my ears, I keep the big picture in mind, and I'm just chillin'. That's a good thing.
I think back to my mom, who died before the age of 60, and she was a Type A personality, always stressed out, and I just know that was a huge factor in her health.
So life goes on. I'm still kind of in tunnel vision right now, not much to give to others at the moment. When I know where I'm going, I'll be able to re-focus my energies.
Had a stay-the-same this week for weight. It actually goes up and down between 205.5 and 207. Every other day, back and forth. Haven't figured that one out, but I just laugh at it. I was very thrilled that Monday, official weigh-in day, it was at the lower end. I'm not gaining, and I'm completely within plan eating wise, it's just bopping around. That's okay, for now. I'm hoping that it will just say enough of this playing around, and give me a nice drop. 199 is so darned close.
I shall call the doc tomorrow to see if the results of my test are back. I doubt they are, I'm thinking at least two weeks from what I read online.
Feeling lost with my workouts...I'm going again, but I haven't done a strength workout in a long time. I can really see it in my body, too. Discussed this with hubby tonight. I had wanted to start Cathe's STS, and had done the first few workouts. Then I quit. Do I start, knowing I may have to quit for a bit due to surgery? And what kind of surgery will I have? So many unanswered questions. Hubby and I both decided if I have to stop, I'll stop, but it would be best for me to start STS again. I think that's a good decision.
I have fallen head over hills in love with Christi Taylor's Stepsational step aerobics DVD. I love her personality, the music she's chosen, and it's such a fun workout. Never thought I'd say this, but I love her as much as I love my Firms. I ordered two of her DVDs, did the second today, and it was more difficult for me but the music was great. I have a sneaky suspicion I'll be doing Stepsational frequently.
I have been thinking about stress a lot. Life's too short to get worked up over the little things and even some of the big things. I am one that gets worked up easily. The past few days I've been taking imaginary chill pills. Today I offered an imaginary chill pill to my son and he thought I'd lost my mind. I was just trying to be funny as he was stressing out over his math. The levity worked and he relaxed a bit. I am feeling so much better. I was really feeling squeezed by the world. Now my shoulders aren't next to my ears, I keep the big picture in mind, and I'm just chillin'. That's a good thing.
I think back to my mom, who died before the age of 60, and she was a Type A personality, always stressed out, and I just know that was a huge factor in her health.
So life goes on. I'm still kind of in tunnel vision right now, not much to give to others at the moment. When I know where I'm going, I'll be able to re-focus my energies.
Had a stay-the-same this week for weight. It actually goes up and down between 205.5 and 207. Every other day, back and forth. Haven't figured that one out, but I just laugh at it. I was very thrilled that Monday, official weigh-in day, it was at the lower end. I'm not gaining, and I'm completely within plan eating wise, it's just bopping around. That's okay, for now. I'm hoping that it will just say enough of this playing around, and give me a nice drop. 199 is so darned close.
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