I got my son in bright and early to the doctor today. We saw a new associate and loved him--he was an excellent match personality wise for my son, and he was on top of his game. He also advises against the H1N1 vaccine.
DS was tested for flu, and it was negative. WHEW. The doc told us that there were tons of H1N1 cases this week. Ugh. He said keep kiddo at home--will do!
Surgery Monday is cancelled. Will be the end of the month instead, giving plenty of time to get DS healthy.
We are going to turn into hermits the rest of this month. I hate doing that, but with H1N1 being rampant, DS needing to be virus-free for his little surgery, we really need to. So, the only outings he'll get are his once-a-week art classes and one orthodontist appointment. There are only two other kids that are regulars, and sometimes others show up to art class, but I feel comfortable with that.
It is a common myth that homeschoolers shelter their kids. Nothing could be further from the truth from any homeschooling family I've ever met, but I guess it will be true for us this month, we will be sheltering due to health.
A special shout-out/thank you to the lurker who sent me an email about my last post. It really did help to comfort me and ease my fears quite a bit. I appreciated your wise words greatly.
I've been on the phone cancelling and re-arranging things, and I just feel like a huge burden is lifted from my shoulders. DS is on the couch, and I hope to get my house cleaned well, pay my bills, order some books for homeschool--my kiddo is almost finished with his year-long science program after nearly three months--and then start a project that needed completed a year ago. A meatloaf is cooking in the crockpot, the laundry is started, and I'm feeling human again.
Whew.
Things I've not done this week: exercise and blog reading. I hope to do both of those things today, too. Well, the blog catch-up may come in spurts over the weekend! Exercise today for sure.
11.06.2009
11.04.2009
Nervous Nellie
I haven't had much to say here for the past couple days.
The truth is, I'm worried sick. I've had lots of tears the past few days. I'm just stressed out.
My baby, who is absolutely not a baby at 14, is having oral surgery Monday. Maybe--his throat was red this morning and he's not feeling well. I'm really worried about it. He saw his neurologist this past Monday and he upped his medication, which is good because he's a growing boy, and I point-blank asked him what could happen to him being under general anesthesia having epilepsy. The answer? He could have a break-through seizure. Could--a short little word that put the fear of God into me.
That just scared the sh*t out of me. Sorry, but desperate times brings out my foul language.
My son was diagnosed with juvenile myoclonic epilepsy the summer of '08. He was having myoclonic jerks (similar to that jolt you may experience as you're falling asleep) and we had him checked out. My heart broke with his diagnosis, as did his, but at least we had the diagnosis before he had a grand mal seizure--a less traumatic way to learn about it.
I hate epilepsy.
So this morning when I had the flashlight out looking at his red throat, I got to thinking about H1N1. I hear it's going around our small town. Did you know that 2/3of children that have died from H1N1 have a neurological disorder? Either epilepsy, cerebral palsy or developmental delay. The latest I could find as 70% of the 36 beautiful, innocent children who have lost their lives had one of these disorders.
That scares the sh*t out of me.
My son would be a priority to get the H1N1 vaccine. Our family physician, however, quipped at me when I asked about it. "We're not ordering it. We're not going to be their guinea pigs." She advises against it. Today I had to talk to my son's neurologist's nurse, and I asked her about it (because I forgot to ask the doctor) and she said get it.
What do I do? Our doctor doesn't have it, doesn't recommend it. Son's got surgery Monday if he's not got a cold/flu or is ill. He just upped his meds to double what he was taking. That's a lot going on with his body--changes.
I am a basket case.
I've also read online that kids with epilepsy have had reactions to the vaccine. Supposedly, they need shots instead of the nasal sprays. Yet even with the shots, some had reactions that put them in the hospital.
So this week we've been out of town Monday, Tuesday I carted DS around to after-school classes, and today we had to go out of town again. We had to take my precious puppy Pip to the vet. Pip has been eating his hair! The vet doesn't know what it is, could be mange, but he didn't test positive. No fleas found. So Pip got a shot of steroids and medications to try. He looks so pathetic. Interestingly, his hair loss is only on the lower half of his body.
Hubby logged in almost 140 hours over the past two weeks at work. Gee, I wish he was paid overtime. So he's been working every Saturday and late hours during the week, and has been exhausted when he's home. It makes me extremely lonely when he falls asleep on the couch. I just need a little adult conversation from him on a daily basis, but I haven't been getting it.
When we got home from the vet today, it was supper time. I didn't cook. Instead, I went and took a hot Calgon-type bath. I needed to wash away all the stress. I wish that would work, but it doesn't take the stress away. It helps, but... The I put on my nightgown and fell fast asleep.
I am just drained.
I know that worry is pointless, stupid, and a waste of time. I know it is illogical to worry. I know this. Yet my mind won't stop it. I try cognitive behavioral therapy with myself. Stop, live in the now, not the future. That does help re-focus me a little, but still I worry.
My best friend is out of town right now, and she's the one that I can spout off to when need be. So instead, I spout off to the blog.
When I was in the tub, I was thinking of all my favorite foods...I wish I could go binge and eat macaroni and cheese, bean burritos and nachos, my beloved store-bought cookies. Then I laughed. I do think I have got it down that doing that doesn't help a thing. It only makes things worse. So I'm still within range today. After my nap, I ate a sensible dinner and am still on plan. That helps, taking care of my body.
So at least I've made great strides in that area. Now if I could learn to cope better with worries, tension, stress, and anxiety I'd be much healthier. And in reality, I am better in all those regards. I also had a visit from Aunt Flo this week, so my emotions are somewhat fueled by hormones. I am very aware of that. Nonetheless, they're still there. And I'll be worried about my son no matter what and forever, because that's how I am as a mom.
One moment at a time. We're getting through all this. I just want the surgery to be over. I just wish I had the answers and knew what to do. Vaccinate or not? And if so, where!
My mom once sent me a poem when I was feeling blue.
I don't know who wrote this.
I'd like to think that my mom watches over my son. In fact, now that my dad is with her, I'd like to think they both do. And even though mom has been gone for 16 years, she still comforts me. Because that's what moms do.
So I pretend to not be worried, go about life as usual, and love and comfort my son.
The truth is, I'm worried sick. I've had lots of tears the past few days. I'm just stressed out.
My baby, who is absolutely not a baby at 14, is having oral surgery Monday. Maybe--his throat was red this morning and he's not feeling well. I'm really worried about it. He saw his neurologist this past Monday and he upped his medication, which is good because he's a growing boy, and I point-blank asked him what could happen to him being under general anesthesia having epilepsy. The answer? He could have a break-through seizure. Could--a short little word that put the fear of God into me.
That just scared the sh*t out of me. Sorry, but desperate times brings out my foul language.
My son was diagnosed with juvenile myoclonic epilepsy the summer of '08. He was having myoclonic jerks (similar to that jolt you may experience as you're falling asleep) and we had him checked out. My heart broke with his diagnosis, as did his, but at least we had the diagnosis before he had a grand mal seizure--a less traumatic way to learn about it.
I hate epilepsy.
So this morning when I had the flashlight out looking at his red throat, I got to thinking about H1N1. I hear it's going around our small town. Did you know that 2/3of children that have died from H1N1 have a neurological disorder? Either epilepsy, cerebral palsy or developmental delay. The latest I could find as 70% of the 36 beautiful, innocent children who have lost their lives had one of these disorders.
That scares the sh*t out of me.
My son would be a priority to get the H1N1 vaccine. Our family physician, however, quipped at me when I asked about it. "We're not ordering it. We're not going to be their guinea pigs." She advises against it. Today I had to talk to my son's neurologist's nurse, and I asked her about it (because I forgot to ask the doctor) and she said get it.
What do I do? Our doctor doesn't have it, doesn't recommend it. Son's got surgery Monday if he's not got a cold/flu or is ill. He just upped his meds to double what he was taking. That's a lot going on with his body--changes.
I am a basket case.
I've also read online that kids with epilepsy have had reactions to the vaccine. Supposedly, they need shots instead of the nasal sprays. Yet even with the shots, some had reactions that put them in the hospital.
So this week we've been out of town Monday, Tuesday I carted DS around to after-school classes, and today we had to go out of town again. We had to take my precious puppy Pip to the vet. Pip has been eating his hair! The vet doesn't know what it is, could be mange, but he didn't test positive. No fleas found. So Pip got a shot of steroids and medications to try. He looks so pathetic. Interestingly, his hair loss is only on the lower half of his body.
Hubby logged in almost 140 hours over the past two weeks at work. Gee, I wish he was paid overtime. So he's been working every Saturday and late hours during the week, and has been exhausted when he's home. It makes me extremely lonely when he falls asleep on the couch. I just need a little adult conversation from him on a daily basis, but I haven't been getting it.
When we got home from the vet today, it was supper time. I didn't cook. Instead, I went and took a hot Calgon-type bath. I needed to wash away all the stress. I wish that would work, but it doesn't take the stress away. It helps, but... The I put on my nightgown and fell fast asleep.
I am just drained.
I know that worry is pointless, stupid, and a waste of time. I know it is illogical to worry. I know this. Yet my mind won't stop it. I try cognitive behavioral therapy with myself. Stop, live in the now, not the future. That does help re-focus me a little, but still I worry.
My best friend is out of town right now, and she's the one that I can spout off to when need be. So instead, I spout off to the blog.
When I was in the tub, I was thinking of all my favorite foods...I wish I could go binge and eat macaroni and cheese, bean burritos and nachos, my beloved store-bought cookies. Then I laughed. I do think I have got it down that doing that doesn't help a thing. It only makes things worse. So I'm still within range today. After my nap, I ate a sensible dinner and am still on plan. That helps, taking care of my body.
So at least I've made great strides in that area. Now if I could learn to cope better with worries, tension, stress, and anxiety I'd be much healthier. And in reality, I am better in all those regards. I also had a visit from Aunt Flo this week, so my emotions are somewhat fueled by hormones. I am very aware of that. Nonetheless, they're still there. And I'll be worried about my son no matter what and forever, because that's how I am as a mom.
One moment at a time. We're getting through all this. I just want the surgery to be over. I just wish I had the answers and knew what to do. Vaccinate or not? And if so, where!
My mom once sent me a poem when I was feeling blue.
In everybody’s garden a little rain must fall
Or life’s sweetest fairest flowers,
Wouldn’t grow and bloom at all.
And though the clouds hang heavy
So heavy. Oh! My friend.
I’m sure that God who sends the shower
Will send the rainbow’s end.
I don't know who wrote this.
I'd like to think that my mom watches over my son. In fact, now that my dad is with her, I'd like to think they both do. And even though mom has been gone for 16 years, she still comforts me. Because that's what moms do.
So I pretend to not be worried, go about life as usual, and love and comfort my son.
11.02.2009
11.01.2009
19 Minutes...
My contest winner contacted me, with 19 minutes to spare! Just thought I'd share that.
Anyone who might be interested in those old Firm tapes I adore so much, if you still have a VHS player, you can pick them up dirt cheap on Amazon. I've been picking them up right and left. =) You can also pick up some that are on DVD for a pretty decent price, too, but not all made it to DVD.
For Christmas, I have asked for a barbell. Then I will be complete. Of course I may need more weights...
Anyone who might be interested in those old Firm tapes I adore so much, if you still have a VHS player, you can pick them up dirt cheap on Amazon. I've been picking them up right and left. =) You can also pick up some that are on DVD for a pretty decent price, too, but not all made it to DVD.
For Christmas, I have asked for a barbell. Then I will be complete. Of course I may need more weights...
Sunday Afternoon
I'm sitting here at 5:30--er, 4:30, haven't changed the kitchen clock, in my robe, my hair wet in a towel. I just had my post-workout shower.
As I was showering, I popped my leg up on the side of the tub to shave and I stared at my leg in disbelief. Where did the big mound of fat on the outside go? The leg is still fat, but sheesh, I can really see a difference--different from last week. It just amazed me! I thought, "Is this my leg?"
While working out today, I made note for the umpteenth time that it is imperative that I buy new shoes. Why? My feet have shrunk and my shoes are too big for my feet. My feet are not as swollen and it makes a difference in my shoes--my right foot slides around way too much. That's amazing. I've gone years having to buy wide shoes, and being very careful with what I selected so I could get my feet into them. I wonder if I'll be able to buy cute shoes again at the end of this journey!
My arms have permanent definition now. It doesn't leave after workout, they always have those muscle dents. I can feel the bones in my shoulders. We all can see the changes. Now they're still fat, but it's wonderful to see definition when I'm just sitting.
I noticed today while doing the stretch portion of my workout that my flexibility has increased dramatically. Wow. Positions I couldn't even think about getting into before I can now get into without thinking about now!
I weigh less now than when I moved to Minnesota 12 years ago by about 10 pounds. I had more energy then, and my energy and strength is beginning to return. I feel like I've gone back in time 12 years.
My butt is firm, really firm. It feels weird to the touch--not that I go around touching my butt all the time, but it just doesn't feel like me.
I really give credit to all the body changes to The FIRM. It is amazing noticing all these changes. It gives me great hope to what my body will look like when I get to goal, whatever that is. I am so thankful I found The FIRM, but I think that any weight program would do it, I just happen to love the southern belle feel to The FIRM.
Wow.
I feel like a whole new person. And I'm not even halfway there yet! What great hope this gives me.
I like stopping and taking a moment to really count my blessings.
As I was showering, I popped my leg up on the side of the tub to shave and I stared at my leg in disbelief. Where did the big mound of fat on the outside go? The leg is still fat, but sheesh, I can really see a difference--different from last week. It just amazed me! I thought, "Is this my leg?"
While working out today, I made note for the umpteenth time that it is imperative that I buy new shoes. Why? My feet have shrunk and my shoes are too big for my feet. My feet are not as swollen and it makes a difference in my shoes--my right foot slides around way too much. That's amazing. I've gone years having to buy wide shoes, and being very careful with what I selected so I could get my feet into them. I wonder if I'll be able to buy cute shoes again at the end of this journey!
My arms have permanent definition now. It doesn't leave after workout, they always have those muscle dents. I can feel the bones in my shoulders. We all can see the changes. Now they're still fat, but it's wonderful to see definition when I'm just sitting.
I noticed today while doing the stretch portion of my workout that my flexibility has increased dramatically. Wow. Positions I couldn't even think about getting into before I can now get into without thinking about now!
I weigh less now than when I moved to Minnesota 12 years ago by about 10 pounds. I had more energy then, and my energy and strength is beginning to return. I feel like I've gone back in time 12 years.
My butt is firm, really firm. It feels weird to the touch--not that I go around touching my butt all the time, but it just doesn't feel like me.
I really give credit to all the body changes to The FIRM. It is amazing noticing all these changes. It gives me great hope to what my body will look like when I get to goal, whatever that is. I am so thankful I found The FIRM, but I think that any weight program would do it, I just happen to love the southern belle feel to The FIRM.
Wow.
I feel like a whole new person. And I'm not even halfway there yet! What great hope this gives me.
I like stopping and taking a moment to really count my blessings.
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