Family Discord (Bowflex!)

Last night and this morning I was reading about strength training, the thing I am resisting, ha ha. I just don't want to do it. It's painful. It's boring. It's manly. (Not, but I can use any excuse I want.)

So I bit the bullet, and asked my husband for help. He was not happy one bit. His shoulders dropped, he made a face, and shook his head.

Him: Do you remember the last time you asked for help? I set up a program for you, you b*tched and whined and moaned and didn't do it. You made me miserable. (I did, too. I am really bad about those things. It's all his fault, you know.)

Me: But honey, this time is different.

Him: Why don't you research it yourself, learn about it, and set up your own program. (He wants no part of it because he knows me too well. And FWIW, he's right.)

Me: I just want you to set it up, teach me what to do, and I'll do it. I don't want to learn about it, I don't like it, but I know I have to do it. I don't care about any of it other than I know I have to do it. You know about this stuff, I don't. Help me, support me. (That guilt stuff never works with him.)

He sighed, went downstairs and got on his computer.

The point: I am being lazy. I want it handed to me on a silver platter without any effort on my part. This will produce the same results: I won't do it.

A little while later he told me to go to www.fitnessbliss.com. They have workouts for the Bowflex that are animated drawings to teach me how to do the exercises. He did not give me a routine, but he got me started. Part of my problem is I'm scared to death of that ugly contraption. It's also old, and doesn't have an elevated bench, this bench is low to the ground. I'm just simply not smart enough to figure out how to do the exercises on a lower bench that are meant for a taller bench. Ahem, yeah, right.

I think I'll take a week to figure this all out. That's all the time I'll give myself. I need to get going on it. I have the book Body For Life, I have Google, I can figure out a routine. Right? (Website and/or book suggestions?)

I tend to do better at things when I do them my own way. I'm snarky like that. I just need to figure out what my own way on this stuff is...because I know nothing about it.

The last time he helped me get this lined up, he set up a program for our son as well. It was part of our homeschool PE. It lasted one session. My son is a carbon copy of his mother: He hated it, wanted no part of it, it wasn't fun, Dad drove him crazy, etc. lol

These photos are from two years ago. Maybe if I get going on it, it will inspire my son as well.

This is probably he "fattest" my husband has ever been. He has a little bit of a tummy in this photo. I hope my son got his genes.

Does it LOOK like I'm having fun?

Friday

I looked at my before/now pictures quite a bit. I can see a difference, but...

I'M STILL FAT

ha ha ha ha...

Getting there.

It's amazing to me the differences I can feel. I can feel my back is smaller, I can feel my tummy is smaller. I can see veins in my hands now. I have cheekbones. I notice a lot of things. Then when I look at the pictures, I see it, but it's not as "big"or maybe I should say "little" as it feels.

I'm a daily weigher. I have not lost anything this week, in fact I go up and down. Looking at the photos, I notice how swollen my right calf, ankle and foot is. I'm wondering if the weird scale thing this week is water weight.

Since I'm always totally honest here, I'm going to admit this: I'm disappointed that the scale numbers aren't dropping more. Three months, 24 pounds--I'm thrilled, but the last time I did WW, I lost about 10 pounds a month. I had hoped to lose 8-10 a month, which I'm doing--averaging 8, but I'm not thrilled with the little losses.

Thing is, like I tell everyone else on their blogs, it's only a number, and only one way to measure success. The last time I did WW the numbers were much better, but my body didn't change as fast as it is changing now. It took a long time before my clothes fit differently, got loose and baggy. So I'm good knowing I am shrinking. I'm just in the same club: We all want it off yesterday. That scale can be instant gratification, and when we have to focus on other things when it doesn't say what we want it to.

~~~~

Ang, I'm going to have to decline on your challenge. Thank you for offering it, thank you for supporting me, I appreciate it more than you know. I have been thinking about it a lot, and I think that I would be setting myself up for failure if I tried to get 6 veggies and 4 fruits a day. I struggle now with 5 fruits and veggies a day. What I can and will do is go to the store tomorrow, get more Romaine, carrots, Iceberg lettuce...and come home, prepare it, and eat a salad with lunch and dinner. That will help. I'll poke around and the produce department and see what they've got. I think what I should do is try one new veggie a week.

I have to keep my goals small, otherwise I will get overwhelmed. I have thought about making veggie smoothies--remember that Vita-Mix gathering dust on my counter?--but I'm afraid I would waste too much money and not like what I prepare.

I'm really going to give this a lot of thought. I will say this: Before starting WW this time, I would only eat iceberg lettuce. Now I'll eat Romaine. I'm at 3/4 Romaine 1/4 Iceberg in my salad, hoping to phase the iceberg out altogether. So that's a step in the right direction. A small step, but it's a step.

~~~~~

One final thing, not weight related. We were at the doctor's office again this morning for a test. While waiting, we were sitting feet from the receptionist. She got a call. I heard say, "You're having chest pain, shortness of breath and pain down your arms? I think you need to go to the emergency room, but let me talk to a nurse." She called the nurse, I heard her say mm-hmm, and then she got back with the woman on the phone. (It was a woman, I heard her tell the nurse.) She said, "Ma'am, you need to go to the emergency room." Pause. "Ma'am, we don't have the equipment to take care of you here, you need to go to the emergency room." Click. Then she turned to the other receptionist and started talking about her son.

I almost got up out of my chair. WTH? She did not ask the lady if she had someone there with her to help her, she did not offer to call an ambulance. She didn't do a thing. 99% odds that woman was having a heart attack.

Should I mention this to my doctor? I am really appalled at how she handled it.

I'm not overly religious at all, but when that happened, I sat there praying HARD for that woman. Scared the crap out of me. Clearly she was scared enough to call the doctor, and probably too scared to go to the emergency room. What if she was alone and drove herself and passed out or died on the way to the hospital...

I just didn't like how that was handled at all. It's not what I would have done. I have been thinking of her all afternoon today. Why didn't the receptionist tell her to take baby aspirin? Why didn't she just get her address and call 911? Good grief.

When I had a ride in an ambulance to the hospital with a weird EKG (the clinic mis-read it), the first thing they did was pump me full of baby aspirin.

It just bothered me because I would have tried to help. I know they're not 911, and it was true she needed to be in the emergency room, but I think she should have taken an extra step or two in helping the poor woman out.

What do I know? I just hope she's okay.

And they say strangers don't care about others...I have no idea who this lady is, but I care.

Celebrating a Blogging Friend!

Hey everyone,

Pop on over to FatGirl's blog and wish her a great-big congratulations! She has hit the 100 pounds lost mark! Woo-hoo!

How incredibly inspiring!

I'm so happy for her!!!

Stuff

While working out today, there was a spot where you bend down and then up...I noticed my girls were a little too free. The whole workout I felt a little too loose and wiggly. Time to tighten up the bra. (Sorry, guys, TMI I know.) lol I started this journey thinking I'd be cut in half by that torture contraption. I'm not ready to change sizes yet, but it's lovely to have to tighten 'er up.

I did Sweatin' to the Oldies 2 again today. It has a toning section in it. Can that count as toning? Do I have to do another video? It also has great warm-up stretches. I think this is my favorite of his videos just for the great warm-up. Translation: I was too tired to do a toning video! It does have toning and I did use weights, not pop bottles. Does it count?

I'm really resisting this toning business. I just want to do my sweatin' videos and be done.

I did not get my veggies in today and probably won't. It's a Taco Bell night. 1 bean burrito and one taco, either crunchy or regular. Actually, I have points for 2 tacos. I don't think that iceberg lettuce on two tacos counts as a veggie, darn it. lol

I did my workout today and we have obedience class tonight, which basically means another hour of walking, about-turns, turn-arounds, stopping, running, walking slow, squatting down to pet the puppy. I really work hard at this class and I sweat. (Ang, I don't wear makeup to this class, but I did my hair pretty.) Does that count as more activity points so I can get that second taco without guilt?

In all honesty here, I'm stressing about my fruits/veggies and toning. While I'm on program by eating the correct amount of points, I am technically not on program because I'm not eating healthfully--I eat lots of fiber, lean and low-fat, but dang it all, those veggies.

I think I really need to get serious and give myself a lecture. My goal is health, and I'm not getting the nutrients from whole foods that I need. Sure, I take a vitamin and fish oil and vitamin E and C daily, but that's not good enough. And it's not as if those veggies are going to take points away from me. I'm a smart cookie, I know how to make a full-volume meal with as few as possible points, why can't I just incorporate more of the good stuff to go with it?

I have to give this a lot of food for thought. Same with the toning stuff. I find it boring. It hurt. I didn't like my arms feeling like they had weights in them, it wasn't pleasant. No pain, no gain. If I build those muscles up, especially the big muscles, I'll build up my metabolism. I know all that stuff.

I need to get my sh*t together.

I'm starting to make excuses in my mind, and that's not a good thing. Gotta nip that stinking thinking in the bud.

Obsession

It's no secret that I love Richard Simmons. I have had my box of videos sitting on the chair in my living room for about two weeks now. Tired of the clutter, I pulled my favorites and put them in a basket. The rest I put in the closet. I have two DVDs that are not in this photo, Party Off the Pounds and Boogie Down the Pounds DVD, too.

I have more weights that aren't in the photo.

The videos not in cases are Richard Simmons videos. Yes, that is an unopened Leslie Sansone DVD in my box. I don't know why I have the Yoga tapes, I can't do yoga to save my life. Someday, maybe.

Neatly tucked away for my next workout. I decided they needed a home out in the open since I use them a lot.

Yes, I love Richard Simmons and I'm not afraid to admit it.

UFOs Here Last Night

There was a UFO here last night. The aliens beamed straight into my bedroom, took me to their spaceship and performed surgery on me. They did not leave a scar. Then they replaced me.

I completely forgot about it when I woke up this morning. I didn't remember it until I started working out to Richard Simmons' Sweatin' to the Oldies 2. Then I remembered. They implanted 20-pound weights into each arm.

Either that, or the workout I did yesterday, RS's Blast and Tone, really worked my arms harder than I thought. It was amazing how sore my arms were today, I could hardly lift them toward the end of the video. I felt the burn!

~~~
I in no way mean to be offensive to people who believe in UFO's or aliens or any of that. I have, in fact, seen something a few years ago that I could not logically explain. I'm not saying it was a UFO, but I'm not ruling it out, either. I'm just trying to be funny.

No aliens were harmed in the writing of this post, though.

2 things

1. I bit the bullet and spent $15 to upgrade my calendar. I will go from 3000 free hits to 13000. That should more than cover things. It's too cluttered to have a month's worth of exercise in text on the sidebar, I think. I spent my online time this morning searching for another calendar, but didn't find one I liked as well. Cha-ching.

2. When Weight Watchers drops your points, be prepared for a mental battle of great magnitude. I obsessed about food all day yesterday. I was starving. After I hit my 30 points last night, I was starving. I thought I'd go crazy if I didn't have something to eat, that I would faint from low blood sugar. Ahem. (eye roll!) I went to bed, got up, went back to bed, got up again. Finally, I drank a glass of tomato juice, which I am supposed to count as points, but don't. It's thick and filling. It did the trick.

It's a mental thing, and I know it. I wasn't really hungry, I was just pouting that they took three points away. Take one or two, that wouldn't be so bad. But three?

Gee, I just won't let this drop!

I can whine with the best of them!

DS is doing independent work now, so I'm going to go exercise. I won't be able to upload it into my upgraded calender until tomorrow, because they take 24 hours to verify my credit card. Wish I would have done that last night instead, as I like instant gratification.

Really???

Notice my exercise calendar to the left...wait, it's not there.

Your monthly views limit has been reached.

Holy cow. I went to the calendar website, and I'm given 3000 hits per month for free. I click it once a day after I have entered my exercise, so this month I've given it 12 hits--well, less, as I didn't exercise this weekend. Are people really reading my exercise? Cool! I'm flattered! And shocked! That will definitely keep me motivated to work out! If I leave a day blank, I want someone to call me on it.

So I'm cheap, I don't want to fork out $15 to upgrade to 10,000 hits a month for a year. I'm still shocked it has 3000 hits on May 12th! lol

I like that calendar. It is in my face: it shows me my great work, it shows me the error of my ways. I go to my blog every day so that I can hit the dashboard and read other blogs. I see that thing every single day and it's a wonderful reminder. What will I do without it?

Any other good calendars out there?

I'm shocked. lol

Tuesdays

Tuesdays are busy days here. Our day got all screwed up due to the doctor appointment. We got a little bit of school done this afternoon, then I drove DS to his art class. I came home and did some stuff, did Blast and Tone (my abs hurt, I'm a baby!) then I took Pip for a walk. We only got 20 minutes in due to the fact I had to pick DS up.

Visited way too long with the art teacher and got home late at 20 after 5. Hubby wasn't here. I was just a tad worried. By 6:30, I was pacing because he didn't answer his phone. So I drove to his office. There were about eight cars there, so I figured they were working on their rush project. Got home, made supper for DS and I and hubby called. He didn't get home until 8pm.

He apologized for not calling earlier as they were busy. I gathered that, but I reminded him that was NOT nice to do to someone who has anxiety issues. lol I had horrible visions--that's what stupid worrying and anxiety does. When I saw other cars there, I was relieved that he wasn't tapped under a machine that had collapsed or some such thing.

Whew. If I drank, I'd have a drink tonight. I don't, and I also don't have points for it. I came in at 30 on the dot for the day. So I guess I'm going to follow the current rules, because that's what I do, I follow rules. I whine a lot about it, though. lol

Tomorrow I have high hopes of getting a lot done besides school--I have to.

Honesty time: I did NOT get enough fruits and veggies in. In fact, I only got a tomato juice and serving of baby carrots. Baaaaad. I had salad fixin's in the fridge, but I didn't do the fixin'.

Wow

My son had his doctor's appointment today. It went so much better than I had expected or hoped for.

He is going to do a computer test at the end of the week, which I'm not sure exactly what it is, but he will start on Concerta after the test.

The doctor was warm, friendly, compassionate and comfortable to be around. We asked questions, she took her time in answering questions to my satisfaction.

This is such a stark contrast from what I have experienced for the past 11 years.

When we moved here, there was one clinic with several doctors. It is part of the Mayo Clinic, although we don't live in Rochester. The Mayo Clinic has tons of doctor's offices in Minnesota. From the second you place a call there, you are treated rudely. The nurses and doctors are all right, I liked my doctor fine, but I could never get in to see him.

When I was pregnant 10 years ago, I started to miscarry. I didn't know if it was a miscarriage or what to do, so I called my OB. I was told he was seeing patients and they said they'd give him my name and number. I was fine with that, I didn't expect him to come to the phone that second. He never called. That night, I talked to a neighbor who was a nurse, and she called the emergency room of our hospital and a nurse friend of hers, and they told me I could come in, but what I was experiencing sounded like a miscarriage. I didn't go in because I didn't have any of the warning signs she told me about.

The next day I called the doctor's office again. I was told the same thing, he's seeing other patients. Could he please call me when he has a moment? He never called.

The third day I called and I got b*tcy. The gal I talked to read me the riot act over the phone, informed me he was seeing his scheduled patients and I wasn't on his schedule. I told her, "Excuse me, I did not schedule my miscarriage." Funny, the doctor called me back in 10 minutes.

Then, of course, I bled for 45 days before he would do a D&C.

That was the worst of experiences there, but all were close to that. I never felt like we were getting good care. I never had the time to have all my questions answered. My personal doctor never told me I was pre-diabetic, another doctor did when I couldn't get in to see mine when I had a sinus infection. I didn't know that there was something called pre-diabetes, insulin resistance, Syndrome X, however you want to term it. I thought you either were or weren't diabetic.

This clinic is one of the reasons I have not liked where I live. Health care is so important and having doctors you can trust is so important.

Two doctors splintered from the clinic. They opened about two years ago. I never thought to go to them for some strange reason. Today we did, and I am thrilled because we have a new family doctor. I was so impressed. From the minute we walked in the door, we were treated nicely and with respect.

This afternoon, I am going to call and schedule a physical for me. I am also going to have my records transferred. It thrills me to think I can actually write out my questions before I go in and know that she'll take the time to listen to what I have to say and answer my questions! I'm excited for all the work I've done, and I can' wait to see my blood work--hopefully it will have improved. I'm excited to ask questions about what other vitamins I can take to enhance my health. I'm excited to have someone on my team. I'm really excited to have someone to discuss this anxiety stuff with and not be blown off.

Wow.

I'm a Rebel

Last night I mentioned that Weight Watchers took away 3 points from me. I do WW online.

Well, since I stated this journey, I have been using my Winning Points book as a guide. I never count tomato juice with points, and Winning Points gives it free. Momentum does not. I feel more comfortable with the range than a target.

I was looking through my program materials this morning and I decided I have to make the decision: The new Momentum program OR old Winning Points. I lost 72 pounds once before on Winning Points. Yeah, I think I'll stick with it.

I like it because I have the book to hold in my hand. I don't like WW Online because it takes so long to find anything.

So according to Winning Points, I can eat in a range: 28-33 points. On Momentum, I have been dropped to a target of 30. I have always eaten at the top of the range. So I think I'm going to stick with 33 for a bit and see what happens.

I don't eat activity points. I rarely use the 35 flex points, which are not a part of Winning Points.

It has to all wash out. I'll still have some extra points floating out there due to activity.

I'm a creature of habit and I don't like change. There are some days, gasp!, where I can't hit the target and I am under. That's okay on Winning Points.

I'm playing mind games here. It's the same program, just tweaked. That 3-point drop was just a jolt to me. Winning Points only has 2-point drops. Why is it that 2 points seems more doable than 3 points?

I can shave 3 points off daily very easily--I know just where to take it from. I just would prefer to do 2--it doesn't sound so abrupt, so sudden, like so much all at once. lol And the weird thing is, Winning Points keeps me at 33, which is what I have been eating. The old 1-2-3 program (for which I have the book!) had a point range of 28-35 for my weight.

This rambling post is just a big whine on my part. I'm revolting at losing 3 points. I'm sputtering, making excuses, and grasping at straws in revolt.

All right, already, I'll just give up the darned 3 points and be done with it.

Then again, if I were to follow Momentum and actually use the Flex points divided up weekly, my target would be 35 daily, which is 2 points higher than what I was allowed previously...

lmao. I need to get a grip.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good: I had an NSV at the store tonight. I caught my reflection in the window. I did a double-take. Now granted, I'm still fat, but I could see a difference! I could see a waist. Not only that, I was carrying myself better, I wasn't slouched, I was proud. I stood there like an idiot and stared, I couldn't help it. Fortunately, there were few people in the store, which is why I prefer to shop at night. Cool!

Our store had TVP, which I read about on Heather's blog today. I can't wait to try it. Will have to cook it up when hubby isn't around, though, and sneak it 1/2 burger 1/2 TVP. I have looked for TVP off and on for years, and I was shocked we had it!

The Bad: I didn't exercise today nor yesterday. I was groggy this afternoon and took a nap. Then I cooked supper, cleaned up, chatted with Richard Simmons and friends--very inspirational, went to the grocery store and here it is 10. Darn it. I need to do this d~a~i~l~y. Tomorrow afternoon I'll meet with Richard in my living room.

The Ugly: Stupid anxiety. No, it wasn't low blood sugar nor was it PMS or cycle related. It was pure stress for the appointment tomorrow, stress for all I have to do and am obviously not getting done, and I think the biggest is the anniversary of Dad's death. I don't do anniversaries well, and that was the worst time of my life for reasons I can't go into but go beyond his illness and death. (Read between the lines there, what kinds of problems happen when someone dies!)

I figure after I get through tomorrow morning, and I may just take a half a Xanax before I go, I'm home free. The other stuff I can deal with as well as possible, but I just don't like doctors too much so it will be nice to be done with that.

I really think all this exercising I'm doing (or not the past 2 days) has made a huge difference in my shape. I remember the last time I did Weight Watchers, it was months before I noticed a difference, before I felt it on my body. Now I get little snippets -- I feel my cheekbones, I feel muscles, I have forearms, my hands are skinnier...I gotta keep that exercise going!

Edited to add: Another ugly: Weight Watchers dropped me 3, THREE, whole points today. Yegads, that's a breakfast cookie! Ouch.

Anxiety

This is my 200th post. Sheesh, I'm yacky!

Anxiety hit me this morning. I was looking for the papers I wanted (IQ test and Educational Psychologist recommendations) and I came across letters from my son's first kindergarten teacher. It made my heart race, it made me angry and I just worked myself into a frenzy. She was an awful teacher. She used to write in a notebook every day and send it home in my son's backpack. He whined today, he peeled a crayon today an then broke it in half, he didn't listen during story time instead he picked rocks out of his shoes. Stuff like that...and he was 5 at the time, all normal 5-year-old behaviors. He was never a whiner, ever. (Well, he does now, but not when young.) He also was not a destructive child, and never once broke a crayon at home. He never broke any toys. He was an intent listener, although he fidgeted...to this day he does the same. She insisted he wasn't listening, but I asked her to have him re-tell the story the next day and she reluctantly relayed that he did. Halfway through the year my son was depressed and we demanded he be put into a different classroom. The principal didn't bat an eyelash, he just did it. And things got better for awhile. (And I will add his second K teacher, and 1st and 2nd great teachers were wonderful.)

That just set me off. I decided I don't need to take his IQ and the report, because they are so old. I can relay the information. I've been his teacher since 3rd grade, so I'm the one now with the current information that needs to be relayed.

About the time my husband was due for lunch, I started shaking bad. It's the anxiety. I shake on the inside and out, if that makes any sense. It came on fast and furious. I am nervous about discussing this tomorrow. I have never met this doctor, although she comes highly recommended from friends.

I broke down and took a Xanax.

Then I started working on my son's camp forms, which take two hours to fill out. And now here I sit ready to sleep due to the Xanax.

My son has worked on his math and science today and he'll do his practice tests later. I am going to take a nap because my body needs it. I am glad I have a well-stocked freezer, as I was able to pull a decent dinner option to thaw.

So I'll hit the store tonight. My list is done, I just need to go.

I hate this anxiety. I hate that I am not strong enough to overcome it on my own. It makes me feel weak. I do love the fact that I have a medication that can help me, though. I know how hard it must be on my body when I am having the shakes. I understand why I have the anxiety today. I just don't understand why I can't roll with the punches. I know logically it is stressful, but why I can't just accept that without these problems is beyond me.

I usually try to sit and do meditations before popping a pill. Sometimes it works, but today it didn't work.

Well, I'm on plan, have my dinner thawing so no room for failure today. I did not work out today, because I plan to walk the dog tonight. I did not exercise yesterday and wonder if that made a difference on the anxiety today. Exercising is such a good release of tension, releases the endorphins, and I wonder if that was a mistake. My calf muscles were hurting, so I thought I should rest. (That and I was in a very bad mood. lol)

Onward!

Monday Weigh-In Day

Oh, it was a good week. What a welcome surprise this morning!

258.5

-2.5 for the week!

Wow, I'm in the 250s now. 1 pound away from my 25-pound goal.

Cool!

Random Tidbits

Sunday night, everyone is in bed but me.

I hate holidays. There, I said it. lol

It's going to be a very stressful week, and I'm already showing signs of it. We're taking my son to the doctor to discuss ADD. Any time we do something for my son, it pains me. It pains me because I love him so much and I don't want him to hurt. It pained me when he was diagnosed with epilepsy last summer. Now on medication, his thinking is clouded and his attention issues are at an all-time high. He's always had focus and attention issues, but meds, puberty, all that...it takes him 2 hours a day to do math. We are hopeful there is something to give him a better quality of life.

In 2002, we took him to an educational psychologist that specialized in gifted children. He was diagnosed as gifted but learning disabled, his disabilities were auditory processing disorder and processing speed disorder. So the poor kids has lots of things going on in his brain. He's as smart as a whip, but struggles with tasks. This is why we homeschool, as it was the recommendation of the psychologist. His public school teacher pulled me aside at the end of his last year in school and told me that she thought homeschooling would be the perfect fit for him. If you know anything about public school teachers, most are vehemently opposed to homeschooling. She did not know we had already made the decision to homeschool the next year.

Years ago when we had him tested, I was on Weight Watchers. I had lost 72 pounds. On our trip home, I bought a Snicker's bar at a gas station. I ate my emotions. The rest is history: I gained it back plus some.

I worry about high-stress events, because I get very emotional over my sweet boy. I worry about my resolve. This time, however, I'm doing it for my health and I get it. I'm finding a new normal, and a damned Snicker's bar isn't going to make anything better. This isn't quite as stressful or life-changing, but any time I deal with my son, every cell in my body hurts.

We also start our yearly standardized testing this week. Routine will be shot, and it's stressful because timed tests for him are murder. He does a great job every year, but it wipes him out. It wipes me out because I feel his stress.

I also have a very major project I need to get completed this week. I have to pay bills. My house needs cleaned. I didn't finish the laundry today. I didn't go to the grocery store tonight.

I can't find the paperwork I need for DS's appointment. I put it in a special file and I can't find the special file.

I am feeling overwhelmed.

Next Sunday is the first anniversary of my father's death.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to continue to search for the paperwork. Then I think we'll do something we never do: Go shopping during school hours. I need to get the groceries, because if I don't have them in the house, it will be too easy to order a pizza, go through a drive-through, or screw up. And I'm not setting myself up for failure.

Tomorrow afternoon we'll take two practice tests. We'll go through our review book, just like they do in the public schools. We're going to work ourselves into testing mode.

I was in a crabby mood all day, and I after writing this, I just realized why. I'm overwhelmed and stressed out.

Week 13's I Can Do That

I'm clueless. This used to be easy, pick something healthy to focus on and incorporate it. Small changes. Now I'm coming up empty!

I enjoyed my walk, and now that it's spring and fairly nice, maybe I should switch my exercise routine up and walk--my puppy would appreciate it.

In visiting with hubby, he informed me I need to do more strength training. He wants me to use the BowFlex. I hate the BowFlex. Someday, maybe, I'll use it.

I love to think out loud, which is what I'm doing here. I think I'll do Richard Simmons' toning stuff this week. I have Blast and Tone, Tonin' Uptown, Tonin' Dowtown, and another one I can't remember the name of that I didn't care for that much.

If I recall correctly, somewhere on Richard's website he mentions that you should do cardio for 30 minutes and tone for 30 minutes every other day. The opposite days are just cardio days for longer duration. You on a Diet says every day you should walk 30 minutes and stretch for five minutes. Three times a week you should do strength work.

By the way, You on a Diet has free videos on their website. You can watch and download their 20-minute workout free. Scroll to the bottom of the page. So I could do that, too. I watched it last night and it's a bit dull, and I don't know that I can do it all at this point, but it's something to work toward.

So I guess I've just settled on my I Can Do That for the week: TONE. Build those muscles, burn more fat, strengthen the core, burn more fat.

Yeah, I can do that. =)

Week 13 Menu

1) Crockpot Cheeseburgers, baked fries, salad
2) Cola Chicken, rice, salad
3) Salmon, wild rice if it's point friendly, salad
4) Italian chicken, noodles, salad
5) Baked Ziti, salad, mock garlic bread
6) Grilled burgers, baked fries, salad

lunches: tuna salad, deli meat, apples, carrot chips, peaches, cottage cheese
breakfast: Bran flakes & Fiber One cereal

snacks: breakfast cookies, pretzels, apples, popcorn, baby carrots, tomato juice, V-8, sugar-free jello

Happy Mother's Day

To all my blogging friends who are moms, I hope you have a wonderful day.