What a word. Thanks to dictionary.com, here's a definition of vulnerable.
Okay, so who on earth wants to open themselves up to being wounded, hurt, morally attacked, criticized, tempted, assaulted, etc. Don't ask me about the bridge thing, I don't know what a rubber is in the game of bridge...
So what does vulnerability have to do with a weight-loss/fitness blogger?
Everything.
What does it have to do with you?
Everything.
According to Brene Brown, people who are happy and living wholeheartedly, have the courage to be imperfect. They have the compassion to be kind to themselves first, because we can't practice compassion to others if we can't treat ourselves kindly.
Brene Brown has a P.h.D. in social work and has written many great books--search her on Amazon. She also gave one of the top ten most-viewed Ted Talks. It is powerful and will make you think.
So I am thinking back to when I was very happy. It started in 2011, I was content, lost over 40 pounds in four months, and maintained it until I had a foot injury and couldn't work out/walk like I needed to.
So what was different between then and now?
Now, I'm upset, frustrated, negative, and full of SHAME. Why am I ashamed? Because I gained back a lot of weight. About half of what I lost. That's just not easy to admit because I have to swallow my pride.
I have looked at it from this perspective:
Hey, I'm such a loser, I lost all this weight, maintained, was happy, and BOOM, started gaining. I'm too embarrassed to blog, to admit, to put myself out there because I'm so ashamed.
The first gain (16 pounds) was a medication side effect, and the rest is all on me.
Okay, so is that treating myself with compassion by looking at myself through a negative lens?
Noooooooooooooo!!!
So I'm being vulnerable.
I lost 108 pounds. I gained back 66 pounds. Okay, technically that's a scooch over half, but who's counting.
I never wanted to be "that person"who lost and re-gained. Well, life happens, and so here I am admitting it openly, and being VULNERABLE.
Okay, so I joined TOPS which I love. I am also doing an online support group. The bottom line is I have to make this work for me, which means my way. It also means staying OPEN MINDED to other ways and incorporating what will work for me and ignoring what won't.
I wholeheartedly believe that we should not strive to be happy; instead, we should focus on being content. There are happy times in our lives, but being content is certainly my goal. What made me content?
Being vulnerable. Blogging. Sharing photos, my fitness and weight-loss journey, connecting with others and supporting others.
So here I am, working away behind the scenes, obtaining my happy (content) place. I do it my way, but with an open mind. And I'm vulnerable, I'm human, but I'm also courageous.
