Tonight I feel content.
My feet are killing me, I have had pain in my legs all weekend long, and I still do. So what, nothing new.
I open my eyes, look beyond that. I have hope, desire, and dedication.
I know I have not been as productive as I need to be in order to be completely content on a daily basis. Content is knowing I'm doing what I have to do with food, fitness, and life.
It's time to step up to the plate.
I own it all: the good, the bad and the ugly. I own it, who I am, and what I've done.
I do not like to ask for help, because in the past when I have, I've been turned down. Learned behavior: asking equals rejection.
boom
I cannot get help from others, though--it has to come from within. I know that.
There are lifestyles I admire and those I have no interest in. Fitness is a lifestyle I admire. Hardcore, pouring sweat, giving it your all, consistency, kick ass fitness. That. That's who I want to be. Feet be damned, I can work around bad feet.
Step one: Stop shaming myself.
Step two: Meditate.
Step three: Do the work.
I can and I will. My way.
It's funny when you admire others and ask for help, they won't--but others sure like to dole out unsolicited advice. And they sure as hell don't know what they're talking about. I listen to those who practice what they preach, but only if their practice is something I truly admire. I'm blessed to know three such people who live the lifestyle I want. I've seen it, and I need to tweak it to fit me.
These three do not overeat, snack or obsess about food. They work out consistently, faithfully and don't miss. They do not log their workouts, wear tracking devices, chart things, have phone apps--they just do. THAT is living. That is what I want. I want it so ingrained, so habitual that I don't have to think, just do. I don't need to collect massive amounts of data, plot and record, analyze...just do.
That's where I'm headed.
My feet are good some days and not so good others. I can work around that. I must live in the here and now and go with the flow. Adapt and overcome.
Live.
Less Facebook, less computer, and more living. Get out in that world and go--that's living.
boom
on it, boss
