Be Careful What You Ask For

Monday when we were shopping for husband's new wardrobe, I did a little shopping for myself, too. We were at Kohl's, and I walked around the active wear section. I wanted some workout pants, specifically capri style. I was looking for a 2XLG, because of my big belly.

Zip, zilch, nada. The sizes went up to XL.

So I purchased five pair of pajama pant bottoms, capri style, which were on sale for $5 apiece. I got two 2XL and three XLs. That should do me for awhile.

As the clerk started ringing me up, she asked, "Did you find everything you were looking for?" I said, "Well, now that you ask, no, I did not. People my size exercise, too. There was nothing in your active wear section in my size." She asked what size I wanted, I stated a 2XL, and then she did it.

The clerk turned to another gal who was miles away (two sections over) and hollered out: Do we have any plus size active wear? Size 2XL? Oh, for the love of Pete, I wished the earth would open up right then and swallow me. There were a lot of people around. Granted, if you look at me, you know I'm plus size. But sheesh, did she have to announce it to the whole flippin' store? The gal hollered back, "Yes, X brand (I forget) carries plus size.

So the gal came and got me and we walked through that department together. Was she ever shocked that there really wasn't any plus sized stuff. She kept pulling out XL stuff. Nope, not quite there yet. Then she told me that I could order the stuff online. I said the problem with that is that I can't try it on, and clothes sizes run differently, pants are cut differently, and it's really best to try things online. I then told her it was really unfair--not her fault, but it stinks. She agreed, and told me that she has that problem with the junior department, too, as they make and sell plus sized junior stuff online, but not in the store.

So I bought my pajama bottoms, didn't tell them what they were for, and left. Thank God I exercise at home!

I did also look at JCPenney and another store that carried plus size, but no active wear was to be found in my size.

So we're supposed to work out, eat healthy and lose weight, but yet we can't go into a store and by clothes to work out in until we've done all the hard work and lost the weight. Hmmm.

Guess what else the clerk told me? They used to carry plus sized active wear, but it didn't sell. I don't know if she was telling me the truth, trying to placate me or what.

Oh well. The good news is that I tried all the capri pajama pants on and every single pair fit, even the three XLs. I can wear them all now--in fact, I have a pair on right now. How cool is that? Yet, it's not the same as pants. I have found pajama bottoms are cut looser and bigger than pants. I'm still excited that the XLs fit.

I had a difficult time shopping in that I didn't know what sizes to try on. I ended up buying one size of 20 pants and four shirts which were all marked 18/20. That sure beats the size 24 I started out with!

I cannot wait until I can fit into capri exercise pants. I'd like the French terry pants. I'd like some yoga pants. Shoot, I'd like anything other than the cheap sweatpants I'm used to from Wal-mart. At least I could always find those and they always fit.

I will think twice before telling a clerk I didn't find what I was looking for again!

I Can't Exercise Because...

I was diagnosed today with cellulitis. Where? My inner thigh.

What the h-e-double-toothpick is it with injuries on my inner thigh? In May I had a boil on my inner thigh that brought my great exercise streak to a grinding halt.

The antibiotics I was given, I was told, will take a few days to heal things up.

I had a series of bites in a circular pattern last week. I've been watching it, keeping the area clean, and hoping it would heal. Yesterday it appeared as if the bites turned into blood blisters. This morning, the entire area swelled up and turned pink (they said red, but it looks pink to me.) It also sprouted a leg. A red, raised line shot out about three inches.

I hate to whine so much. It's just a PITA, nothing major, but it isn't pleasant to walk. Or move. Clothing rubs on it and makes it uncomfortable.

A couple days and I should be all healed up.

With me? It's always something.

About That Weigh In This Morning...

TMI ahead, I'm talking about poop. Quit reading if you find that crass.

This morning, I woke up late, went potty, weighed, poured a cup of coffee and hubby came home. We visited while I drank my coffee. I told him I was up a pound.

Our discussion:

Hubby: Have you pooped yet?
Me: No.
Hubby: Do you normally poop before you weigh in or after?
Me: I normally do No. 1 & 2 before hopping on the scale.
Hubby: Go do your business then hop on the scale again. That will be your true reading. Be consistent.

I did. Ahem. The scale read 238. Down a pound from the earlier weigh in.

I'm still leaving the gain on the side bar. I didn't have time to post this as I showered and we headed out the door. It's been on my mind all day. Did I gain or did I stay the same?

My conclusion: It doesn't matter! If I was to the point where it was in the back of my mind all day, I'm making way too much out of it. It's just a number and in the scheme of my journey, it means nothing.

I do know this: My dad is up in heaven laughing his a$$ off. And if he could speak, this is what he would say: I always knew you were full of shit.

Sorry for being so crass, but sometimes I'm like that. And my dad really would have said that had I actually told him about it--but I probably wouldn't have told him. lol
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We had a great day today, and I'll post some NSVs and some pictures later tonight or tomorrow!

Monday Morning Weigh In

Well, it was bound to happen. I'm not happy about it, but it's just a number. 239. Up 1 pound. My first gain.

The thing is? I didn't cheat. I didn't exercise, but I didn't cheat on food.

I'm okay with it--well, as okay as anyone can be.

So I think the lack of exercise this month has caught up with me. As I wrote yesterday in my Honeymoon is Over post, I knew this was coming, the scale had not been kind all week. I did my evaluating yesterday, I know what I need to do. I need to move my body.

I need to add, my waist has grown. It was at 40, it is now 42. Imagine that. It proves to me how very important exercise is. I was quite shocked last night when I measured. Actually, quite saddened.

So, all is good--I'm in a good mental place, I have new goals, refreshed thinking and it's time to hit it hard. I had hoped I would not have a gain on this journey. I was hoping for perfection. Perfection is a bad thing, and I have to remind myself of that. My inaction gave me the reminder.

I think I really needed this lesson today to drive home the importance of exercise. Growing waist, a gain? Yeah, lesson learned!!!

~~~

On a different note, my husband came home from work a few minutes ago. It seems that corporate has decided all the engineers need to dress like engineers. Since he has worked here, they have always been able to wear jeans to work. Wouldn't you know, he just bought several brand-new pair of jeans. Aaack. Now they'll all be wearing dockers and button down shirts. All the engineers were groaning because no one's clothes fit them anymore. My husband only has one or two pair at most of casual dress pants. So we're hitting the big city today, going clothes shopping. He wears big and tall because he's 6'5". We usually pay through the nose for the few extra inches in pants that he needs. I'm hoping TJ Maxx and Kohl's will be kind to us money wise and yield some nice clothes. Personally, I worry about the extra laundry. Will I have to, gasp, iron? I haven't ironed clothing in years!

Ugh. What a day. However, counting my blessings: I am still no longer morbidly obese. My husband has a job he loves. I'm not freaked out to the point I feel a binge coming on, but we will hit Taco Bell today for lunch. I'm healthier than I have been in years, I'm happy, and I'm re-charged.

Onward. I will do this!

The Honeymoon is Over

Weight loss is like marriage, it goes through certain stages. At first it's exciting, just like the honeymoon stage of marriage. You're in love, you've chosen a weight loss program that is sensible, you're eating better, the scale is showing you great numbers--it's the center of your life. As time moves on, the excitement wanes, it becomes ordinary and commonplace. Then you go through an adjustment. With time, it all settles and evens out, and you enjoy your weight loss journey and maintenance for life. There will always be ups and downs, but it works.

There are times you are annoyed as hell. Like marriage, when you discover your spouse isn't perfect like you once suspected, you discover that your weight loss program isn't perfect, either. It doesn't meet your moods, it cannot coexist with your desire to de-stress by eating a cheesecake or brownies or movie theater popcorn. Yet like marriage, you stick with it. Sometimes you give it your all, sometimes you just go through the motions.

Like marriage, it's difficult to make it work, but like a marriage, it's worth it.

So in my journey, I've recently gone through that shift from honeymoon to commonplace. The excitement is gone, the drudgery is on. (Not that marriage is drudgery, but the weight loss is--or can be.) I knew this day would come. I was prepared for it. It's now that I need to be more determined than ever. Game on.

I'm a daily weigher. I don't do it to see instant results, I do it to remain mindful. The times in my life when I did not weigh second thing every morning, I would eat whatever and gain. The times in my life when I did weigh daily, my weight and health were always in my mind and I did better. It helps me figure out what foods overload my body with water. It helps me watch my patterns that my body has. This past week the scale has not been kind, even though I have stayed within point range. I can't help but wonder if my stinking thinking (honeymoon is over) has effected that scale. The mind is a powerful thing. I do not get stressed out over numbers, as it is only one way of measuring success. If I stressed about the scale, I wouldn't weigh daily.

I have lost site of some very important things on this journey:

cardio
strength training
mini-goals to improve my eating

My journey has not been one about being sexy, getting skinny, etc. My journey has been about health all along. When I started in February, I thought I was dying. I really believed I was. I thought I had abused my body so much that I wouldn't be able to fix it. I was convinced I had diabetes, that my borderline high blood pressure would no longer be borderline. I knew I had had problems with high triglycerides for years. I couldn't move, bend, walk into a store without getting winded. Getting up in the morning was exhausting. I always hurt and I was always tired. I was in pain. My body, mind and spirit all were in pain.

I need to remember those things. I'm not going back. When the honeymoon is over, it's time to re-evaluate. It's time to remember why one started. I was miserable. I am no longer miserable, but I could sure be better than where I am--that's the whole point of the journey.

I have made great strides these last six months. I've lost 44.5 pounds, I've done a tremendous amount of work on my mental status. I've worked things out, boosted my confidence, and stepped life up a notch.

It's time to move forward. While the excitement is gone, that "Wow, I'm losing, I think can do this" is in the past, it needs to change to "Slow and steady wins the race, I will succeed." My next six months I really need to focus on making my body stronger. I need to focus on that which I have struggled with the most: exercise.

If I can change my food, which was difficult, surely I can develop an exercise program for me. Maybe the honeymoon phase will come back, maybe not. Yet, I am determined. I have beat diabetes, high blood pressure. I'm still on triglyceride meds. My lipid panel was not that great in June. Exercise will help that tremendously. I can do this. I need to strengthen my heart, improve my blood work. I need to find what works for me.

Bottom line: While the honeymoon is over, I have extreme determination to continue to get better. I want health--good health. No, great health.

I can do it.

Popcorn Again

Thanks for the popcorn comments. I need to state that I don't like microwave popcorn. I bought a box of 100 calorie popcorn back in March and there are still some packages left in the box. When my hubby makes himself microwave popcorn (the real stuff) I have to leave the room because I can't stand the smell of it. I don't know why I'm so weird, but I am.

In the past, I used my Stir Crazy to make popcorn. I could use one tablespoon of oil to pop 1/2 cup of popcorn. I have tried to reduce the oil and the popcorn with my Stir Crazy, but I haven't obtained good results. The oil just adds too many points.

And another way I'm weird: I actually like air-popped popcorn.

So on a whim this afternoon, I drove out to our Wally World. They had the Presto PowerPop microwave popcorn maker I had read about. They also had plenty of the cardboard disks for when I run out. $14.95--I bought it on the spot. $2.19 for an 8-pack of cardboard disks.

I came home, scanned the directions, washed the bowl and lid (because I'm weird), dried them, and inserted the cardboard thing--which should last for 12 or more batches without oil. I measured 1/3 cup, which came out to exactly 80 grams of kernels, and threw it in the microwave. Three minutes and 45 seconds later, I had a *huge* bowl of popcorn. It popped so well, the lid raised up! I counted 7 unpopped kernels. I was thrilled!

No longer do I have to clean the counter of popcorn gone wild. It usually shoots everywhere and I'm always picking up kernels off the counter, plus popped corn. My dogs always enjoyed catching the popcorn that fell on the floor. No more.

I ate every last drop of popcorn. Well, I had three border collies sitting at my feet and they each got several bites. My 80 grams of popcorn = 240 calories, 3 grams of fat and 12 grams of fiber. A whopping 4 Weight Watchers points. It was popcorn heaven. It was a lot of popcorn.

Next time I need a snack, I'll cut it in half. The amount of popcorn I ended up with was more than my hubby gets in his microwave bags. We have a dedicated popcorn bowl, and the microwave version fills it, mine overflowed.

I was very impressed and shocked by the popcorn popper. It did have great reviews at Amazon and other places on the net. I'm happy, because I can measure my popcorn and actually consume what I've weighed out. No more 50% loss with the air popper!

One final note, I found that the popcorn was actually better than air-popped. Sometimes air-popped can be a bit, um, chewy. This had the perfect texture. Yay.

Dare I admit further weirdness? I don't salt my popcorn. lol Sometimes I spray some ICBINB or butter-flavored Pam, sometimes not. =)

Balance and Popcorn Poppers

I've spent time this morning catching up on blogs. I commented on some, and read all that were updated on my list. So I am still reading, and I'm learning to cut back. It's difficult because I enjoy leaving comments. The balance was right, though, as I didn't spend a lot of time, came away inspired, and left words where I felt compelled to do so. So, it's all good.

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Popcorn: It's a snack I absolutely love, and have nearly every day. I'm very frustrated with my air popper, though. I weigh out my 40 grams of popcorn, put it in, and half of the kernels spray out unpopped. I feel I'm getting cheated points wise. Then I started doubling...I'd weigh 80 grams, make my popcorn, and weigh the unpopped kernels. Magically, every time, 50% were unpopped. So I felt I was getting my true points value.

It bugs me because I'm wasting popcorn! So I've been looking for a new air popper. I'm thinking I'm going to order the Presto Powerpop Microwave Multi-popper. It gets rave reviews all over the internet. The only bad thing is you have to buy cardboard "powercup concentrators" to be used with it. They're cheap, but I know I'll have to buy online because I live in the boondocks.

For those of you who enjoy microwave popcorn, what popper do you use? Anyone have that Presto popper? I just want my money's worth when I buy popcorn, and I want my points' worth when I make it. I'm tired of 50% spoilage. I would love recommendations!