According to my fitbit:
steps: 11,634
miles: 4.93
calorie burn: 2098
All those steps were Tim Conway steps--but I hit my goal. I really wanted 10,000 steps today come hell or high water, and by golly, I did it. Plus some.
~~~
Two books arrived in the mail today. I ordered three books on metabolism and hormones. I've been trying to read, but haven't made much headway today. Will share anything earth shattering that I come across--if I find any such thing.
~~~
Hoping I feel better tomorrow so we can put the decorations away and get back to normal. Plus, the house needs a good cleaning. I have my fingers crossed. I could always bark orders and DH and DS--ha!
~~~
Before Christmas, I declared us stuck in a rut food wise. We seem to eat the same thing over and over and over. It's boring. So once again, I'm on the lookout for good recipes. This will take awhile and it's difficult to find things all three of us will eat.
~~~
Really trying to get back into the land of blogs--reading others'. I have always read through bloglines. Well, they were going to close down, then someone else took them over, and I just transferred all my feeds to the new owners and just my luck, I lost about 75% of my blogs. So I started going through Google Reader and I immediately found several blogs that were defunct and taken down or else hadn't updated in so long. That made me feel so sad. This journey is so tough. While I neglect my blog, I've never wanted to shut it down. My husband says that my blog has been the magic bullet in getting me through this journey--and he's right. So I'll slowly be adding blogs back to my reader. If you leave a comment, I can add your blog back in much more quickly!
~~~
Today I had laughter, shed a few tears, enjoyed some tender-loving care from my loved ones, got kisses from my puppies and tried my best to relax. So while things weren't perfect, I certainly felt love from everyone. That is priceless.
~~~
12.29.2010
12.28.2010
Do Your Best, Always
Last night I felt so hopeful, so inspired. Then I had a severe pain wave hit. It was intense, lasted about an hour and a half, and was so bad I cried out several times. Then the waves disappeared and it was just the dull pain. Woke up this morning with the dull pain, then had a pain wave that lasted about 45 minutes. Hope shatters when this happens, yet I know it will ease--it always does.
The thing is, if this is the life God has destined for me, that doesn't mean I have to wallow in self-pity. Yes, I do wallow in self-pity--that's my nature, but I still keep the eye on the prize. In between all this, I force myself to get out of bed and move around. Now I may be moving at Tim Conway's shuffle pace, but I move. I have just over 5000 steps in today, and that's pretty wonderful considering that I have accomplished nothing and felt like garbage all day long.
Why do I do that? Because I'm worth it. No, I'm not jogging, not running, not walking a fast clip. I'm not flying in the air on my rebounder, I'm not doing step aerobics, and I'm not lifting weights. I slowly put one foot in front of another and move my body--because I can. It helps, too. If you've ever been in bed all day you know how stiff you get, how your body aches. Moving around helps tremendously.
So I may not even be able to do an easy Leslie Sansone walking DVD today--not even close, but I do my best. I'm proud of that.
So we may feel like, um, poop, but there's always something we can do. Always. Hope may shatter, but the spark is always there and doing whatever we can keeps that spark alive.
I've exercised today to the best of my ability. Have you?
The thing is, if this is the life God has destined for me, that doesn't mean I have to wallow in self-pity. Yes, I do wallow in self-pity--that's my nature, but I still keep the eye on the prize. In between all this, I force myself to get out of bed and move around. Now I may be moving at Tim Conway's shuffle pace, but I move. I have just over 5000 steps in today, and that's pretty wonderful considering that I have accomplished nothing and felt like garbage all day long.
Why do I do that? Because I'm worth it. No, I'm not jogging, not running, not walking a fast clip. I'm not flying in the air on my rebounder, I'm not doing step aerobics, and I'm not lifting weights. I slowly put one foot in front of another and move my body--because I can. It helps, too. If you've ever been in bed all day you know how stiff you get, how your body aches. Moving around helps tremendously.
So I may not even be able to do an easy Leslie Sansone walking DVD today--not even close, but I do my best. I'm proud of that.
So we may feel like, um, poop, but there's always something we can do. Always. Hope may shatter, but the spark is always there and doing whatever we can keeps that spark alive.
I've exercised today to the best of my ability. Have you?
12.27.2010
Christmas
Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. We did.
I went off the diet for three days. I rarely cheat, but I did this last year for only two days and was able to get back immediately, so I tried it for three days.
The result? Stuffed French Toast Casserole, Lasagna, French bread, and a few cookies made me SICK, SICK, SICK.
Finally, this evening, my tummy has settled.
SO Not worth it. Yuck.
Santa brought me a bunch of videos which I'm excited to try. Also got two bokken to use with my Forza DVDs that I got. Haven't tried any yet due to my pain issues.
I think I'm going to have to throw in the towel and admit the fact that I have chronic pain, will probably always have chronic pain, and learn to live with it. I'm not happy, but I'm just not getting the help I need and/or they don't know what it is. This doesn't mean I'm giving up hope, I just need to accept it and get on with life. Damn it all. It is what it is (overused phrase, yet appropriate here.) This also means my exercise, which I love with all my heart, takes a big hit because there are times it's difficult to walk let alone put in a tough weight or cardio workout.
So....back to the land of blogging. I've neglected this poor old blog for so long. I think I've been angry, been hurting, had my feathers ruffled by my slow weight loss which bruised my pride a bit. When I cheat, I admit it here--and that doesn't happen often. It's another appropriate place for "it is what it is" because there's not much more I can do about the slowness of the weight loss.
So, I'm going to give it my best effort to blog consistently again. For the few that are still reading my blog, if you can think of any questions or something you'd like to know my opinion on, because I'm full of opinion lol!, comment and that will help me come up fill my empty pages and help my mind which draws blank on topics.
I went off the diet for three days. I rarely cheat, but I did this last year for only two days and was able to get back immediately, so I tried it for three days.
The result? Stuffed French Toast Casserole, Lasagna, French bread, and a few cookies made me SICK, SICK, SICK.
Finally, this evening, my tummy has settled.
SO Not worth it. Yuck.
Santa brought me a bunch of videos which I'm excited to try. Also got two bokken to use with my Forza DVDs that I got. Haven't tried any yet due to my pain issues.
I think I'm going to have to throw in the towel and admit the fact that I have chronic pain, will probably always have chronic pain, and learn to live with it. I'm not happy, but I'm just not getting the help I need and/or they don't know what it is. This doesn't mean I'm giving up hope, I just need to accept it and get on with life. Damn it all. It is what it is (overused phrase, yet appropriate here.) This also means my exercise, which I love with all my heart, takes a big hit because there are times it's difficult to walk let alone put in a tough weight or cardio workout.
So....back to the land of blogging. I've neglected this poor old blog for so long. I think I've been angry, been hurting, had my feathers ruffled by my slow weight loss which bruised my pride a bit. When I cheat, I admit it here--and that doesn't happen often. It's another appropriate place for "it is what it is" because there's not much more I can do about the slowness of the weight loss.
So, I'm going to give it my best effort to blog consistently again. For the few that are still reading my blog, if you can think of any questions or something you'd like to know my opinion on, because I'm full of opinion lol!, comment and that will help me come up fill my empty pages and help my mind which draws blank on topics.
12.09.2010
How I Get So Many Steps Per Day
When I feel well, I have a very high average daily step count. Currently, my average is 21,578 steps per day. Some people have asked me how I am able to do this consistently.
First off, sometimes I'm not able to. It depends on whether or not I'm having pain and the severity of the pain. I can keep the count up pretty well, but not hit 20,000 when I'm having pain issues. Sometimes it's very low, but I'm learning how to move my body better when I'm in pain.
So here's my list of how I do it:
1. Bought a FitBit. This is the best thing on earth to me, and I wish I would have had it since the start of my journey. Check out their website. This tracks steps, mileage and calorie burn. Also, very important, activity level. It also tracks sleep. Love, love, love my FitBit. This is the tool that inspires me to get those high steps. Better than a pedometer for me, it's highly motivating.
2. Start the day with a short walk. I usually walk five to ten minutes right off the bat.
3. I do one or two Leslie Sansone DVDs a day. Every evening, I try to do one of her three-mile videos. According to my FitBit, they're actually two plus miles, not close to three, but it's a nice 45-minute walk.
A 1-Mile Leslie averages 2,000 steps. A 2-mile Leslie averages around 3,500 steps. A 3-mile averages about 4750-5000 steps. A 4-mile averages just above 6,000 steps. The 3-miles are good in that they come in at 45 minutes. That's about my boredom threshold. (These aren't real exciting videos! They are great stress relievers, though, because I can zone and think, letting my mind wander.)
4. My beloved exercise videos. One hour-long step tape usually yields between 6-7,000 steps and high activity level. Strength videos, obviously, don't yield very much at all--but it's still important to do those strength workouts.
5. I don't work outside the home, so I do have more opportunities to get in more steps than those that work. Sorry, one of the few luxuries to my unpaid job.
6. I take breaks and play with the dogs. We have a game where I go outside with them, they bring me a toy, and I kick the toy and then fetch. When they go off to retrieve, I walk a lap around the garage. I do this several times a day and usually average 4-500 steps per game.
7. Become inefficient in the home. My laundry room is in our basement but the bedrooms upstairs. Instead of putting clean clothes in a basket and bringing them up in one trip, I make three trips with an armful. More steps. I have become more inefficient in many ways around the home, all in the name of moving my body more. (Doesn't mean I'm not getting things done, I just take more steps to do it intentionally.)
8. I don't watch a lot of TV, but every Tuesday night you can find me walking in place while watching NCIS. Love the show, and I walk throughout half of the show at least.
9. I quit relying on my son to do little errands around the house. I get off my butt and do them myself now. No more, "Could you bring me X, please."
10. Go to Wal-Mart. If I'm short on steps for the day, I'll head off to Wal-Mart. I average 2-3,000 steps just walking around the store, going up and down aisles. No one has ever noticed me, because I'm pushing a cart and looking at stuff, but I go at a quick pace when I can.
11. Mall walk. In my town, I don't enjoy the mall. I go there for the post office. When I go, though, I do several laps. I've gone a few times just to mall walk. It's not my favorite thing to do, but it gets me out of the house. When we visit the big city, I love to mall walk. It's a huge mall and there's lots to see and I get tons of steps from one lap, but take two or three.
12. I've become very aware of those steps by checking my FitBit on a constant basis, so I get up and move around when I think I need more steps.
13. Sometimes I just dance to a favorite song when it comes on the radio or iPod. I am not a dancer at all, but when no one is watching me, I cut loose. =)
14. Became involved in the FitBit community and met some friends that have much higher averages than I do. Talk about motivating! Surround yourself with what you want to become, you know?
That's it. I am constantly aware. Just get up and move. That's all I do.
First off, sometimes I'm not able to. It depends on whether or not I'm having pain and the severity of the pain. I can keep the count up pretty well, but not hit 20,000 when I'm having pain issues. Sometimes it's very low, but I'm learning how to move my body better when I'm in pain.
So here's my list of how I do it:
1. Bought a FitBit. This is the best thing on earth to me, and I wish I would have had it since the start of my journey. Check out their website. This tracks steps, mileage and calorie burn. Also, very important, activity level. It also tracks sleep. Love, love, love my FitBit. This is the tool that inspires me to get those high steps. Better than a pedometer for me, it's highly motivating.
2. Start the day with a short walk. I usually walk five to ten minutes right off the bat.
3. I do one or two Leslie Sansone DVDs a day. Every evening, I try to do one of her three-mile videos. According to my FitBit, they're actually two plus miles, not close to three, but it's a nice 45-minute walk.
A 1-Mile Leslie averages 2,000 steps. A 2-mile Leslie averages around 3,500 steps. A 3-mile averages about 4750-5000 steps. A 4-mile averages just above 6,000 steps. The 3-miles are good in that they come in at 45 minutes. That's about my boredom threshold. (These aren't real exciting videos! They are great stress relievers, though, because I can zone and think, letting my mind wander.)
4. My beloved exercise videos. One hour-long step tape usually yields between 6-7,000 steps and high activity level. Strength videos, obviously, don't yield very much at all--but it's still important to do those strength workouts.
5. I don't work outside the home, so I do have more opportunities to get in more steps than those that work. Sorry, one of the few luxuries to my unpaid job.
6. I take breaks and play with the dogs. We have a game where I go outside with them, they bring me a toy, and I kick the toy and then fetch. When they go off to retrieve, I walk a lap around the garage. I do this several times a day and usually average 4-500 steps per game.
7. Become inefficient in the home. My laundry room is in our basement but the bedrooms upstairs. Instead of putting clean clothes in a basket and bringing them up in one trip, I make three trips with an armful. More steps. I have become more inefficient in many ways around the home, all in the name of moving my body more. (Doesn't mean I'm not getting things done, I just take more steps to do it intentionally.)
8. I don't watch a lot of TV, but every Tuesday night you can find me walking in place while watching NCIS. Love the show, and I walk throughout half of the show at least.
9. I quit relying on my son to do little errands around the house. I get off my butt and do them myself now. No more, "Could you bring me X, please."
10. Go to Wal-Mart. If I'm short on steps for the day, I'll head off to Wal-Mart. I average 2-3,000 steps just walking around the store, going up and down aisles. No one has ever noticed me, because I'm pushing a cart and looking at stuff, but I go at a quick pace when I can.
11. Mall walk. In my town, I don't enjoy the mall. I go there for the post office. When I go, though, I do several laps. I've gone a few times just to mall walk. It's not my favorite thing to do, but it gets me out of the house. When we visit the big city, I love to mall walk. It's a huge mall and there's lots to see and I get tons of steps from one lap, but take two or three.
12. I've become very aware of those steps by checking my FitBit on a constant basis, so I get up and move around when I think I need more steps.
13. Sometimes I just dance to a favorite song when it comes on the radio or iPod. I am not a dancer at all, but when no one is watching me, I cut loose. =)
14. Became involved in the FitBit community and met some friends that have much higher averages than I do. Talk about motivating! Surround yourself with what you want to become, you know?
That's it. I am constantly aware. Just get up and move. That's all I do.
12.06.2010
Good News/Stupid News
Good news: down 1.5 pounds, total loss to date: 90.5 pounds. Better news: At doctor's office, I weighed 190 in jeans and shoes. She said their scale was extremely accurate. Wow. I was 192 in my birthday suit at home this morning. I'm still using my scale at home as my basis, though, because I don't go to the doctor once a week to weigh in -- consistency counts.
Stupid news: No blood in urine today so we do NOTHING. I kind of see why they want to do nothing, but I'm tired of pussyfooting around and want to get aggressive, dagnabit. So if it happens again, then we do something. Until then, suffer. Was told to make another appointment with my gyno, which I did, but that's not covering all the bases.
I don't drink, but if I did, I would have one now.
Stupid news: No blood in urine today so we do NOTHING. I kind of see why they want to do nothing, but I'm tired of pussyfooting around and want to get aggressive, dagnabit. So if it happens again, then we do something. Until then, suffer. Was told to make another appointment with my gyno, which I did, but that's not covering all the bases.
I don't drink, but if I did, I would have one now.
12.05.2010
Never a Dull Moment
I went to the ER last night. Why? Because I went potty and it was blood. They checked it, and yes, there was blood. I got the lecture that I'm in menopause and it's probably a period so the doctor needed to check that out.
Newsflash: I'm 45 years old. I've been having periods for 35 years. I know when I have them and when I don't. She said, "You were right." I had to bite my tongue and keep from saying: no sh*t.
That's all they did, and since it wasn't an UTI, I was told to see my doctor and get a referral to a urologist. Tomorrow morning I'll call.
I woke up crampy yesterday and it persisted all day. I've been crampy today, too, but there is no *visible* blood. That's just damned scary. Hubby thought I was overreacting, but I needed to get checked out/proof to give to my doctor.
Now to figure this latest turn of events out. sigh Will be taking my data to show my last few cycles and my pain chart and address that, too.
I am getting so down. I just am, can't help it. Pain, weird things happening, pain. Enough already. I feel fine mentally when I'm not having something go on. Situational.
Newsflash: I'm 45 years old. I've been having periods for 35 years. I know when I have them and when I don't. She said, "You were right." I had to bite my tongue and keep from saying: no sh*t.
That's all they did, and since it wasn't an UTI, I was told to see my doctor and get a referral to a urologist. Tomorrow morning I'll call.
I woke up crampy yesterday and it persisted all day. I've been crampy today, too, but there is no *visible* blood. That's just damned scary. Hubby thought I was overreacting, but I needed to get checked out/proof to give to my doctor.
Now to figure this latest turn of events out. sigh Will be taking my data to show my last few cycles and my pain chart and address that, too.
I am getting so down. I just am, can't help it. Pain, weird things happening, pain. Enough already. I feel fine mentally when I'm not having something go on. Situational.
11.29.2010
Neglecting the Old Blog
I've figured out why I've been neglecting the blog.
1) I'm a perfectionist. I'm very upset that I am not at goal by now. For Pete's sake, I am three months away from my two-year anniversary. I just knew I'd be at goal by now. I did everything right. I still do! I count and measure everything, make sure I get enough protein, etc. It's just not meant to be. I'm upset with this and perhaps embarrassed.
I do know that I will get to goal someday, but it bothers me that it's taking so long.
2) The pain. My life seems to be centered around pain. Much of the time, that's all I think about. I know darned well that it's boring reading, negative and not very good blogging material. I feel like all I do is whine. I try very, very hard to keep a cheerful attitude, but sometimes it's just more than I can handle.
3) This is the biggie. This hit me like a ton of bricks when I figured it out. I had no clue, and if anyone would have asked me, I would have said no way. Depression.
I believe I am suffering from situational depression. Right now, sitting here pain free, I'm great. Not depressed at all. However, when that pain starts, I am so down in the dumps that I cry, I feel completely worthless and miserable. Because, well, I am all those things. It's more than humbling when you can't get up and walk without being in pain. When I have the pain it's constant, always there, but I have surges of extreme pain. There have been a few times where I felt the need to go to the ER but could not get up and prepare to leave the house.
Relaxation is key in getting me through the pain. No over the counter meds help at all. My doctors will not prescribe pain meds--which I think is a standard within the gynecological community from my research.
So the depression comes and goes. I took an online depression quiz the other day and some of the items on that test are always present. For example, one area was social. Do you avoid friends? YES I don't read blogs like I used to. I keep to myself and don't share my journey. Sometimes it's just too much.
So that is something I will work on. Exercise helps that tremendously, but when I'm having that stupid pain, exercise is not good. This last bout of pain I was able to keep my step count in the 7 to 8,000 range--which was better than the previous where I had a few days of 2 to 3,000 steps.
So right now what I'm doing is charting every single day what I feel, twinges, pain levels, my cycle. This is all cycle related. I also bought that hormone test kit and I screwed up because you're supposed to take it on the 19th day of your cycle and I miscounted. I was so upset because I have to wait. Once I've taken the test, I will start progesterone cream and hope that helps. My cycles run every three weeks--ugh.
Right now I've got about two good weeks out of the month. During those weeks, my focus is on moving and doing things because I fear I will be laid up soon.
It's killing me not being able to do workouts like I want. That's the worst part. Well, not being there for my family is bad. My husband is wonderful in that he takes over when I have pain spells, he gets groceries and cooks. He made our Thanksgiving dinner. I don't know what I'd do without his help.
So that's it. Depression, pain, and perfectionism.
I think I really need to start blogging my journey again and get back into the land of the living. I also need to start reading blogs faithfully again because you all are so wonderful and inspiring.
Here's to a couple of pain-free weeks for me. I'm ready to kick butt with my beloved workouts. I'm ready to live life to the fullest while I can.
In the meanwhile, if anyone knows of any natural means of pain relief, please share. Relaxation and breathing through it helps the most, but I'm wondering if there are any supplements that may help. I do take Motrin while I'm having pain even though it does nothing just to help with inflammation. Any other suggestions are more than welcome.
1) I'm a perfectionist. I'm very upset that I am not at goal by now. For Pete's sake, I am three months away from my two-year anniversary. I just knew I'd be at goal by now. I did everything right. I still do! I count and measure everything, make sure I get enough protein, etc. It's just not meant to be. I'm upset with this and perhaps embarrassed.
I do know that I will get to goal someday, but it bothers me that it's taking so long.
2) The pain. My life seems to be centered around pain. Much of the time, that's all I think about. I know darned well that it's boring reading, negative and not very good blogging material. I feel like all I do is whine. I try very, very hard to keep a cheerful attitude, but sometimes it's just more than I can handle.
3) This is the biggie. This hit me like a ton of bricks when I figured it out. I had no clue, and if anyone would have asked me, I would have said no way. Depression.
I believe I am suffering from situational depression. Right now, sitting here pain free, I'm great. Not depressed at all. However, when that pain starts, I am so down in the dumps that I cry, I feel completely worthless and miserable. Because, well, I am all those things. It's more than humbling when you can't get up and walk without being in pain. When I have the pain it's constant, always there, but I have surges of extreme pain. There have been a few times where I felt the need to go to the ER but could not get up and prepare to leave the house.
Relaxation is key in getting me through the pain. No over the counter meds help at all. My doctors will not prescribe pain meds--which I think is a standard within the gynecological community from my research.
So the depression comes and goes. I took an online depression quiz the other day and some of the items on that test are always present. For example, one area was social. Do you avoid friends? YES I don't read blogs like I used to. I keep to myself and don't share my journey. Sometimes it's just too much.
So that is something I will work on. Exercise helps that tremendously, but when I'm having that stupid pain, exercise is not good. This last bout of pain I was able to keep my step count in the 7 to 8,000 range--which was better than the previous where I had a few days of 2 to 3,000 steps.
So right now what I'm doing is charting every single day what I feel, twinges, pain levels, my cycle. This is all cycle related. I also bought that hormone test kit and I screwed up because you're supposed to take it on the 19th day of your cycle and I miscounted. I was so upset because I have to wait. Once I've taken the test, I will start progesterone cream and hope that helps. My cycles run every three weeks--ugh.
Right now I've got about two good weeks out of the month. During those weeks, my focus is on moving and doing things because I fear I will be laid up soon.
It's killing me not being able to do workouts like I want. That's the worst part. Well, not being there for my family is bad. My husband is wonderful in that he takes over when I have pain spells, he gets groceries and cooks. He made our Thanksgiving dinner. I don't know what I'd do without his help.
So that's it. Depression, pain, and perfectionism.
I think I really need to start blogging my journey again and get back into the land of the living. I also need to start reading blogs faithfully again because you all are so wonderful and inspiring.
Here's to a couple of pain-free weeks for me. I'm ready to kick butt with my beloved workouts. I'm ready to live life to the fullest while I can.
In the meanwhile, if anyone knows of any natural means of pain relief, please share. Relaxation and breathing through it helps the most, but I'm wondering if there are any supplements that may help. I do take Motrin while I'm having pain even though it does nothing just to help with inflammation. Any other suggestions are more than welcome.
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