1985 Just Called

I have a fitness friend who loves to rebound like I do. She recommended a video from 1985. She even offered to mail it to me for me to borrow. It was so cheap on Amazon that I bought it instead. The video is Jump To It! The lovely Dan Finnegan and her sister Debbie Smith put this video out, and it screams 1985. The lead is dressed in the then-cute leotard with two different colored slouch socks, head band, and high-top shoes. The music is very 80s.

Today we call that cheese. Then it was cool. It doesn't bother me in the least because I lived through that era, and aside from having my son, the 80s were probably the best time of my life.

The workout itself kicked my butt from here to Sunday. I did preview it and she did a slow warm up, then a super long stretch. I did not do either of those. I do not believe in stretching at the beginning of a workout. It's a quirk of mine, but stretching comes at the end when your muscles are warm. Plus, why start, get your heart rate up, then stop to stretch?

Started with the workout and it was fast and furious. They were doing high kicks which I did not do. My heart rate skyrocketed within minutes. It was tough! I lost sight of the outfits and the 80s music quickly, I was just trying to keep up! The various routines varied in tempo, and thankfully some were easy, but others had me huffing and puffing.

This is a keeper. It boiled down to 30 minutes of pure butt-kicking cardio which I loved. I have a new goal to make it through this video completely without altering, slowing down, changing steps--that means keeping up on beat, doing those kicks. I think it may take me awhile!

It's fun to find things from the past.

And speaking of workouts, I am now on week 4 of my FIRM 90 Day Rotation. This is the longest I have ever gone on a rotation. I'm shocked. I am missing Cathe DVDs and Gin and step very much, but I'm loving my FIRMS and I keep reminding myself it won't last forever. As my fitness builds back up again, I know I'll be doing more doubles. I've done a few already, including today. So hopefully I can add in more step to this rotation as time goes. However, the rotation does get tougher as it goes along, so I'm in for a ride. I do believe I will make it through! I've always wanted to say, "I've done The FIRM's 90 Day Rotation!" I'll get to say that in 8 more weeks!!!

The Truth

Discovered this lovely gem while reading online. Thought I'd share.

“The Truth”

“I will believe the truth about myself
no matter how beautiful it is:

I believe in my power
to transform indifference into love.
I believe I have an amazing gift
to keep hope alive in the face of despair.
I believe I have the remarkable skill
of deleting bitterness from my life.
I believe in my budding potential
to live with a nonviolent heart.
I believe in my passion to speak the truth
even when it isn’t popular.
I believe I have the strength of will
to be peace in a world of violence.
I believe in my miraculous capacity
for unconditional love.

I will believe the truth about myself
no matter how beautiful it is.”
~Macrina Wiederkehr
from “Seven Sacred Pauses, Living Mindfully Through the Hours of the Day”

Self-Esteem ???

Someone very close to me told me today that "having no self-esteem makes me not pretty. I was also told I am always angry: angry at the world, my family and everything.

No time for me to respond to anything, but I will here.

There was a day when I had no self-esteem. It waivers some still today, but I'm pretty confident about how far I've come, my abilities and who I am. I would never, ever describe myself as someone who didn't have self esteem. I don't see myself in that light at all. I would describe myself as brutally honest, I know my strengths and weaknesses. The comment floored me and hurt me beyond words. So this person thinks I'm ugly because I have no self esteem. Wow--I just--I don't know what to say. That stung.

Anger.
Do I have anger? Sure.
Do I have joy? Sure.
Do I have love? Sure.
Do I have laughter? Sure.
Do I have trust? Well, I have issues with that one. I do with the two most important people in my life.
Do I have fear? Sure.
Do I have awe? Sure.
Do I have disappointment? Sure.

My point? I'm human. I'm not angry at the world. I'm not angry at everything. I'm not angry with my immediate family.

Dare I ever share a feeling, express my thoughts and this person will label me. This person doesn't listen when I'm happy, when I'm laughing, when I have joy. I do have all those.

Me thinks the problem is not with me. Me thinks the problem is that the person who accused me of having no self-esteem and being ugly and having anger has those problems his/her self. It's called PROJECTION.

I'm human, subject to error. I never claimed to be perfect. My feelings really got hurt today. Today I had sadness.

I am human.

ABCDEFood

This is floating around blog-land, I thought it was cute, so I'm stealing copying it from Bonnie at Fat Be Gone. I just can't think of much to blog about lately!

A: is for Apple, what's your favorite variety?
Yummy, Red Delicious!

B: is for Bread, regardless of nutrition, calories, or whole grains what is your favorite type to have a nice big piece of?
Sourdough! Can't find good sourdough where we live, though. California Sourdough is the best. Olive Garden bread sticks would come in a close second.

C: is for Cereal what is your favorite kind currently (just one!)
Kellogg's Complete. I have had them almost every day since I was a small child and they were called 40% Bran Flakes. Guess what? They're on my no-eat and/or limited list now. This is tough!


D: is for Doughnuts, you might not currently be eating them but what kind do you fancy?
Back in the day when I ate them, I liked glazed or chocolate covered glazed. My son had a doughnut about a year ago and I took a nibble and it was horrid! I have no desire nor craving for doughnuts now at all. See, miracles do happen!


E: is for Eggs, how would you like yours prepared?
I love eggs! Scrambled, over easy, hard boiled, poached--they're a happy, healthy food!


F: is for Fat Free, what is your favorite fat free product?
I used to enjoy fat-free sliced cheese. It's really not good, so I quit eating it. The only fat-free product in my house now is fat free half and half and when it's gone, it's not being replaced.



G: is for Groceries, where do you purchase yours at?
We have three grocery stores in our small town and I shop at all three. The bulk of our groceries come from Wal-mart because it's cheaper. Meat comes from a very small chain that recently opened. Produce we prefer to get at stores other than Wal-mart.


H: is for Hot Beverages, what is your favorite hot drink?
Hands-down, Starbucks decaf coffee! YUM Wish we had a Starbucks here!


I: is for Ice Cream, pick a favorite flavor and add a fun topping.
I am not a big ice cream eater. Never really was. I do really enjoy a chocolate/vanilla twist from McDonald's on occasion, though.



J: is for Jams or Jellies, do you eat them, and if so what kind and flavor?
Grape.


K: is for Kashi, name your favorite Kashi product?
I have never tried a single Kashi product--nor will I. They have too many ingredients I can't eat now. :(


L: is for Lunch, what was yours today?
A mixed lettuce salad, a little shredded cabbage, tons of shredded carrots, 2% cottage cheese and a cheese stick.


M: is for microwave, what is your favorite microwave meal/snack?
In our home, microwaves are for heating food. I very rarely make microwave popcorn only not the bagged stuff, I use a microwave popper.


N: is for nutrients, do you like carbs, fats, or proteins best?
All of 'em. Carbs--I'm addicted to carbs, but working on it.


O: is for oil, what kind do you like to use?
Extra virgin olive oil. We do have canola oil on hand, but it's all about the olive oil.


P: is for protein, how do you get yours?
Sparingly. I have to eat a low-protein diet. I enjoy tuna, all kinds of beef, chicken breasts and eggs. I can only have 3 ounces of any meat twice a day, though. Darned purine.


Q: is for Quaker, how do you like your oats?
Regular Quaker oatmeal, not the quick stuff.


R: is for roasting, what is your favorite thing to roast?
Beef!


S: is for sandwich, what’s your favorite kind?
Yum, Subway's roast beef! Have to plan it, though, due to high sodium.


T: is for travel, how do you handle eating while traveling?
Since the kidney stone business, I haven't traveled overnight. I will probably take a bunch of food with me in a cooler and hit a grocery store upon arrival. Plan eating out very carefully.


U: is for unique, what is one of your weirdest food combos?
I can't think of anything too weird. My mom used to like mashed potato and mustard sandwiches, though!


V: is for vitamins, what kind do you take?
I take a multi-vitamin and fish oil daily.


W: is for wasabi, yay or nay?
I don't know what it is! I think it's a hot Japanese sauce, in which case NO WAY! lol


X: is for X-RAY. If we x-rayed your belly right now, what food would we see?
Probably just water. It was egg night, but I'm sure it's digested by now--that was hours ago.


Y: is for youth, what food reminds you of your childhood?
Drawing a complete blank. I guess we used to eat Pringles out of the can a lot.


Z: is for zucchini, how do you prepare it?
I used to put it in spaghetti sauce, but I don't each much pasta now...will have to come up with some new recipes for it.

My Goal Chart & A Big Favor!

So I was looking at my goal chart just now and it was disgusting. I've gained weight, I'm heavier than I was a year ago. Granted, not by very much--a couple pounds, but what the heck happened?

A whole year went by, I got to 192, then I went back up. Feeling very bad, being very hard on myself, my husband told me to cut myself some slack. That whole kidney stone business was brutal. It really was. I knew I felt bad, but now that I no longer have the pain and look back, I wonder how I made it through. Seriously. Plus I had two surgeries within this year segment. So while I'm not overly happy, I will cut myself some slack.

I'm eating well, exercising, saw the scale squeak a bit, but then it halted. I weigh everything, I eat the right salt/protein/fat/carbs, very few processed foods. I work out, I move more than I have in years. Not just exercise, but daily movement. Last week I had 124,534 steps, 54.92 miles. I remember the days where I didn't move, I sat. So the lifestyle is there, I'm making informed choices, and yet the scale doesn't budge, it just squeaks every now and again. Persevere. I'm just going to keep plugging away. It will move--it has to!

And life goes on. I really would like to start updating that goal chart again. I do not like being stuck, going backwards, being stuck again. Ready to kick this fat to the curb!

~~~

I have a really big favor. I'm going to blog more about this, but anyone who has read my blog for any length of time knows how much I love The FIRM--the Benson era Firms. Well, here's the deal. These instructors have done so much for me even though they don't know I exist. I would like to give back. Well, as it turns out, some are on Facebook and they do friend their fans. One of them is the wonderful LaReine Chabut. She asked me--yes, me personally!--to help spread the word about her Facebook page. Here it is: LOSE That BABY FAT. It is listed as TV show. I have not asked her about that, but will. Anyway, she's talented and one of the "safe, trustworthy" instructors. If you're on Facebook, please go to her site and "like" it. It would mean a lot to me. I do plan a longer post on her shortly, but just wanted to get that out there tonight. I've added her photo/link to the upper right-hand corner of the blog. For those who have just had babies, she's your gal! For those of us who have older kids, she's still our gal! Thank you for that!

The FIRM: 90 Day Rotation

Week 1: DONE! Yay, me! Back in the saddle again. The week was filled with many Epsom salt baths, meetings with my foam roller and Tune-up balls. I made 'er, though.

If you don't use it, you lose it. I hadn't done strength training for a few weeks and I felt it. Cannot live without that again. Cardio is great, but to build a healthy body, one must strength train. And stretch.

I'm doing this with other Firm lovers and I really hope I'll make it through this rotation. So far I haven't had that "I want to do Cathe, Jenny, Gin, Paul, Christi...etc." desire hit me. But then again, it's only been a week.

I love to work out. I really, really do. It is a great joy to me, an escape, a physical outlet that is oh, so good. I love my DVDs.

Feeling pretty happy over this tonight. Focusing on the positives!

Scared Sh*tless

I do swear in real life. I can't bring myself to put the "i" in, though.

I've been reading, again, about metabolic disorder--metabolic syndrome, Syndrome X, prediabetes, insulin resistance--basically it's all the same thing. Well, insulin resistance is a component of metabolic syndrome.

It scares the crap out of me. It is a time bomb just waiting to go off.

The "diet" most prescribed for this is the Mediterranean Diet. The bad thing is that can be carb rich, and basically if you have Metabolic Syndrome, it's kind of like you're allergic to carbs. You have to eat the complex carbs and NO junk, simple or processed carb stuff.

I've read so many books on the subject. Exercise is crucial in helping with insulin resistance, diet is imperative. The thing that's tough for me is my protein has to be really low with the kidney issue. Speaking of kidneys, I learned just today that kidney stones/problems with kidneys is a big thing with Metabolic Syndrome. People with Metabolic Syndrome have high levels of uric acid. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? They don't know if it's the high uric acid levels that cause the syndrome or if the syndrome causes the high uric acid.

What have I done to my body over all these years?

Anyway, I'm trying to get on with life and get my "diet" (what I eat, not necessarily a die-t) lined up. Restrictions here, restrictions there. Carbs are filling. When you up the fat, you are missing volume in your diet that once was (at least for me) carbs. So I'm hungry a lot. A LOT.

Trying hard to get this squared away. Making food lists of things I can have. Reading, researching, figuring it all out.

It gives me a headache.

No exercise today, but I did break 14,000 steps. I worked around the house all day and then when it was time to work out, my stomach was upset, I felt feverish and I just decided that I need to rest. BIG no-no, because I need at least 30 minutes of cardio a day for this insulin resistance thing--but I'm going to fall back on my busy-ness of the day and my 14,000 steps just this once. I've been feeling sickly all night.

Anyway, the implications of this Metabolic Syndrome scare me so bad. I guess I realized today that it is a huge battle that I will fight the rest of my life. Can it be cured? I don't know the answer to that, but it can be controlled. I've made a huge dent already. My lipids are better, I exercise, my blood sugar is normal, blood pressure...but I have the kidney thing, and I still meet the qualifications for this syndrome. So I have a heck of a lot of work ahead of me.

I like to read actual studies and that takes me awhile because I do not have a medical education. It's fascinating and scary at the same time. No one can accuse me of being uninformed on the matter.

Time bomb, waiting to go off. Quality of life is worth the battle. Game on.