Sharing a Giveaway!

My friend Lindsey has an awesome blog called Fitness For the Rest of Us. I have blogged about her blog before, I like it that much. She gives great reviews of fitness DVDs and she has the most fantastic give aways!

Today she posted a give away for Paul Katami's Hollywood Bootcamp 4 x 4. I have drooled over all of Paul Katami's DVDs for a long time, but I haven't bought one because I have many to keep me busy. Plus I try not to spend too much money. So I'm entering this contest here and hope you all run over to Lindsey's blog for a wonderful dose of inspiration--she has an amazing weight loss story--and to take advantage of her wonderful give aways!

What's Up?

Well, glad I asked myself that question. Feeling loquacious tonight, so here goes:

My computer died and I had to get a new one. I've been adjusting to it. Missing all my bookmarks, still transferring files. The old one barely runs, so I am able to access stuff.

My dishwasher died. I did not get a new one. Instead, I've gone back in time to hand washing dishes. It's therapeutic and I really don't mind doing it. Will not be replacing the portable dishwasher as I appreciate the free space more than the convenience of the appliance.

Been in maintenance mode intentionally. Depression has been very bad and I overwhelmed myself by reading tons of books and researching. It actually depressed me more than it helped. So I decided to just hang for a bit, maintaining my wonderful loss and waiting for the pain of the depression to ease.

Exercise has not been the best. I have not been updating my little box at the top of my blog. I continue to get over 10,000 steps a day and an occasional workout in despite everything.

Basically, I've been pretty bad off. I've spent a lot of time horizontal. I watch my NCIS disks. I also discovered a TV show from the early 90s had been uploaded onto YouTube and I watched every upload. Homefront. Ever hear of it? I loved it then, love it now. It was a post WWII drama and it was an excellent show.

Injured my feet! Bought new thongs--er, flipflops. (My age is showing! ha) I wore them about two hours a few days ago and managed to produce some nasty blisters in between my toes. To top it off, I also had really bad cracked heels again on both feet--been fighting that all winter. The past few days I was wobbling. I still broke 10,000 steps each day, though.

Yesterday and today I had a slight turn. Felt a bit better yesterday. Today? I was dancing in my kitchen. The show Homefront piqued my memory. I have always loved the Big Band era of music, so I opened up iTunes and had credit left! Yay! I bought myself about five Big Band songs. In The Mood, Sing Sing Sing, Accentuate the Positive, etc. Wow, what a spirit lifter having some pumping music driving me--the first two songs just make you want to jitterbug! In fact, hubby and I did jitterbug in the kitchen when he came home from lunch the other day.

I think this music, which touched my history-loving heart, got my flames going a bit. I felt better today. I felt a little cheerful. How wonderful. I don't want to jinx myself--I've had so many false starts trying to get over this depression, but my gut tells me it's going to move on. I have a strong and reliable gut reaction, so I'm hopeful.

The tune Accentuate the Positive is stuck in my brain, and it's a great song to have there. Here are the lyrics:

Gather 'round me, everybody
Gather 'round me while I'm preachin'
Feel a sermon comin' on me
The topic will be sin and that's what I'm ag'in'
If you wanna hear my story
The settle back and just sit tight
While I start reviewin'
The attitude of doin' right

You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium's
Liable to walk upon the scene

To illustrate my last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do just when everything looked so dark?

(Man, they said "We'd better accentuate the positive")
("Eliminate the negative")
("And latch on to the affirmative")
Don't mess with Mister In-Between (No!)
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

(Ya got to spread joy up to the maximum)
(Bring gloom down to the minimum)
(Have faith or pandemonium's)
(Liable to walk upon the scene)

You got to ac (yes, yes) -cent-tchu-ate the positive
Eliminate (yes, yes) the negative
And latch (yes, yes) on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, don't mess with Mister In-Between

I GET IT NOW!!! (Yes, I'm shouting)

I think I've finally figured out my depression. Now to figure out how to fix it!

I lost 80 pounds by counting calories and making sure I got proper nutrition. When I had the kidney stone surgery and was put on the new diet, things changed. I never had the diet mentality before--I just ate healthful foods & counted calories. Now? *I'm on a diet.* No wonder I'm depressed.

Now the trick is to figure out *how* to get this diet mentality out of my head. I'm so tired of "I can't eat that" coming out of my mouth at home and at the grocery store. Come on brain, figure something out.

Oh, The Possibilities...

Lots of different possibilities in my life right now.

Diet--reading tons of diet books trying to put together a plan for myself that is heart and kidney healthy. Not following any one plan, just a nutritionally balanced, Jo-friendly plan. It's tough to get enough MUFAs now that I can't eat nuts, so I'm studying and tweaking.

Life in General--Here are where the big possibilities are. Now that the taxes are done, the bills are paid and the big projects need my attention are behind me, whew, it's spring cleaning time. I am a huge believer in decluttering once a year and having a big spring clean. I have not had a major declutter spree since Dec of '08 due to my health and focus, and I haven't had a huge spring clean since probably '07. It's time.

Right now I'm reading Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui by Karen Kingston right now. It is the best book for motivating and inspiring a big clean. I highly recommend it, and was thrilled it's on Kindle.

Anyway, I plan on going through my house room by room. I will declutter each room, re-organize what's left, make a list of anything needed, then wash walls, curtains, floors, etc. When one is done, I move to the next. The only bad thing about this is the house is a mess during the process because you have to put your donate pile somewhere, your somewhere else pile somewhere, etc.

This is a huge project and I am eager to attack! I haven't felt the energy to do this for so long.

At the end of '08, my husband gave me the best gift ever: his time. We did a major clear-out the week after Christmas. We ordered a dumpster and filled it twice (we had recently inherited many, many things thus so much junk), we donated van loads of books, animal supplies to the local shelter, tons of clothes and household goods to the local Salvation Army. It was liberating.

The process of doing that cleared my mind and my heart. We worked our tails off and the energy in the house was amazing. It was a huge weight lifted from our shoulders.

Speaking of weight...it was a month after we finished that big project that I started my health journey here. That clear out, getting rid of clutter, opened up energy for me to be able to start. It freed so much--I cannot begin to describe how liberating that was.

It's time to do it again. We will order a dumpster, because we have old carpeting in our garage that needs to go. (DH laid new carpet this past fall and we hadn't ordered a dumpster to get rid of the old stuff.) Most our goodies will be donated, though.

I need the weight of a dirty house off my shoulders. It's not that it's dirty, but in my mind, it is because I haven't had a good spring clean in so long. It's clean enough, but I'm a little OCD and want it cleaner--Jo clean. And as I said, I just have not been myself and haven't had the energy to devote to the big project for a couple years now.

It's also a time to declutter my mind. I am reading weight loss books not looking for a new magical cure, but for inspiration. I'm stuck in my ways, I'm depressed about lack of loss, the new kidney stone prevention diet, and I just need to get rid of all that negative clutter in my brain.

Spring. Perfect time for cleaning the house and the mind. Oh, the possibilities of what this will bring.

Gratitude Not Attitude

I'm on Facebook and have an account that is for fitness/health/diet only. I love it and check it daily. Many of my "friends" are Beachbody coaches. Most are not obnoxious, but some drive me crazy. In fact, I have unfriended the obnoxious Beachbody coaches. I have to say this about most of the BB coaches...they are always posting inspirational phrases and quotes. It is nice to read all that positive stuff on a daily basis.

So yesterday one of the BB coaches posted this: Have gratitude...not an attitude. I LOVE it!!! It's my new mantra. I have shortened it a bit, though: Gratitude not attitude.

Now, putting that new mantra into place isn't easy. Was telling the hubby about it and I flat-out said: It's easier to be pissed off. It's easier to be mad, pissy, whiny, grumpy, etc., than to look at the bright side.

I've never been a the glass is half-full kind of girl. I see the glass as in the middle. I call myself a realist, I see what is before me. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. So it's hard to be cheery. With the kidney stone stuff, I've been a half-empty girl, but I'm sick of talking about kidney stones...

So I'm going with the fake it until you make it stance. I keep reminding myself, whenever I get in a grumpy mood, gratitude not attitude. Come on spring, hurry up and get here I'm sick of it being 15-20 degrees below normal--oh, wait: I'm so happy it's not the middle of winter, 30 below zero--gratitude, not attitude. (That's definitely faking it.)

I'm working on it. Our minds are powerful things--and what we think, how we think, sets the tone for everything. So I'll opt to fake it until I make it.

Gratitude. I'm grateful for many things and choose not to dwell in the past. Well, I choose to try not to dwell or to stop myself when I do start dwelling. It's a start. ;-)

Money, Books, TV and Salad

Money. I cannot spend any more money. This Kindle is great, but I want to read books that cost money, not the freebies. sigh Cannot buy any more books! Or exercise DVDs! Oh, my biggest downfalls.

Last night I decided I needed a little inspiration and I bought Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir. I stayed up more than half the night reading. I had no idea it was written by The Pasta Queen. I remember finding her blog long ago and playing with her photos on her site. I'm enjoying the book very much.

While reading more than half the night, I turned the TV on and the only thing that looked remotely good was a show called Downsized. I think that's the name. Fascinating. I kept thinking of our own finances, and how we could improve. I'd watch a bit, then get engrossed in the book, then watch some more. There was one episode where the father bought the mother a fake Starbucks cup and the ingredients for her own coffee drink so she could save money. I wondered why she hadn't done that all along, but I think I'm a bit more frugal.

Anyway, we were discussing this show at lunch today and talking about my spending. We eat out about once a month now. Maybe twice, but usually just once. My son and I go to The Olive Garden after his orthodontist appointment and enjoy it immensely. One of the things I love about The OG, as I call it, is their salad. I love salad. It never tastes as good at home as it does there.

I did buy a bottle of their dressing when we were last there. It's not the best ingredients for me and my kidney diet. I'm going to have to work on my own version of their dressing. At any rate, I get the dressing on the side and a little goes a long way. Still, at home, it's not the same. I've decided the difference is that their salad is served on chilled plates. We talked about this, and DS suggested I buy salad plates and keep them in the fridge. Brilliant--will do that.

And that brings us back to money. Must not spend money. Curb my spending habits. There's just always something I want/have to have. The question is, will I buy salad plates???

I'm a compulsive eater. I didn't get to 282.5 pounds without having the compulsion issue. I am usually pretty good with money, but if I were to place a bet on this, my bet would be this: I'll buy the plates due to compulsion.

It's a vicious circle, isn't it?

Random Tidbits

My scale? It seems to like the same number. It's stuck there. That's okay, I just keep plugging away. It will get sick of that number soon enough.

Went to Wal-Mart last night and found Sean Anderson's favorite Joseph's Pitas. I can't wait to try one for lunch today! They look fluffy, soft and yummy. The ingredients list is good for a bread item and they're only 60 calories. I was so excited to find them. They were in the deli, not the bread aisle. I never go into the deli section but just happened to on a whim last night--lucky me!

It's snowing. It's March 23 and it's snowing. It's cold. It's 30 but feels like 20. Humidity is high from melting snow, all-day rain yesterday, and a touch of wind. Brrrr. Poor doggies, I'm a wimp, I don't want to go play with them. Funny how in January/February when it's 20 below, I can go outside with them and it is nasty cold but doable for a few minutes. Now? It feels much colder, only because we've had a touch of warmth. Spring is coming, and soon I'll be complaining that it's too hot and humid. lol

I bought a Kindle. The greatest thing ever. For years I have had difficulty reading books because my left eye goes completely blurry when reading. I can read a computer screen, but only a page or two at a time from a book--and I have to be sitting perfectly straight to do that. I've even been seen by a neurologist and had an MRI to figure the problem out, but they couldn't. I snuggled up in bed last night and read 1/3 of a book in an hour--I almost cried, I was in heaven. My eye did not go blurry, and I did enlarge the type on the screen. Why did I wait so long to get one? I've got many books to make up for! Plan on getting as many freebies as I can, but the very first book I bought was one of my favorites, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston. I have the book in paperback, but due to the above reasons, I can't read very long. It has been updated and I felt it was just the right book for my first purchase.

Before I started this journey in February of 2009, my husband, son and I did a massive declutter spree on this house. We filled a dumpster, we donated van loads of stuff to the library, to the animal shelter, and to Salvation Army. The Epilepsy Foundation is my choice for donations, but they don't have a local pick up and we needed to unload now. Every room was gone through, decluttered and organized. It was liberating. I honestly believe it gave me the energy to start this journey.

Well, that was two years ago, I am a little bit of a clutter bug, and we've done some projects around the house that created clutter and it's time to do it again. I had read that book before we started the last declutter, and it's time to get inspired to do it again. I feel a major spring clean coming on.

I look at it as getting unstuck. I have been stuck for quite awhile, stuck in pain, in attitude, in depression, in frustration--and it's a physical way of making something great happen. So, soon, very soon, I'll be kicking booty here and decluttering again, washing walls, spring cleaning, and bringing back some loving, clean, fresh energy into this house.

Spring just brings out the energy, the life, the rebirth, doesn't it?

When you clear your clutter, get organized and fresh, you have more energy to devote to the things you love and to your goals. I'm ready for a fresh infusion of that energy!