49

Today is my 49th birthday. My, how time flies.  I was asked what I wanted for my birthday, I shared what i wanted, and told to order it.  My Champion EZ Barbell arrived and I love it!  I also got a kettlebell DVD which is on its way and lifting straps.  It's a fitness birthday.

I could go to a nice restaurant for dinner, but instead, much to the family's dismay, I chose Subway.  I can count my calories, get some veggies, and get full.  No chance of messing up there.  I may get an ice cream cone at McDonald's for 150 calories.  Or not.  I need to check their website, it's been awhile.  

My birthday gift to myself was the best:  On plan.  I've been on plan, working out, counting calories, not dinking around, since June 17.  Ten days now.  You have to love yourself, and that was the best thing I could do for myself.  I have lost pounds, my body is changing, my legs are screaming at me LOL.  Yup, that is the best gift.   

YES!!!

I am really psyched this morning.  I have lost 6 pounds since June 17.  While technically some of it has to be water, I KNOW it's not all water.  My body is changing. My core has changed. The fat is loose.  My belly button has changed shape.  The consistency of the fat is completely different than when I started.

My hard work is working.

I struggle with the foot pain still, I have extensor tendonitis, peroneal tendonitis and the neuropathy left.  They say for foot problems to ride a bike. Some days the foot pain on the bike is worse than walking--so I get off the bike and walk on the treadmill. Much better.  Adapt and overcome.  I refuse to let anything stand in my way.

I got new shoes which helped on the bike.

I have worked my way up to 70 minutes straight cardio. I do steady state.  I have ready every study out there, I know they all hate steady state.  However, it works FOR ME.   That's not to say I never do interval training--I do with kettlebells.  But every single day I do 70 minutes of steady state.  I do some form of weights daily.  Yesterday I trained my back.  Today I will train chest.  I also do kettlebells.

I will also be adding in one of my beloved videos daily.  Class FIRMs, Kick Butt and FitPrime all three by Anna Benson and can be found at Fitness Favorites, plus some Ellen Barrett for the yummy, stretchy feel good stuff.

I am happy.  I'm in the groove.  I don't know if blogging was the key to getting me going or what.  I'm on a roll.  My calories have been perfect.

When you do the work, it works.  That's the easy part, the hard part is the mental work.

Live in the moment.  Don't look forward to what will happen, enjoy the NOW.  I'm working a meditation program as well, and that is changing my perspective on LIFE.

It's all good!!!!  

The day I last entered a blog post was a bad day for me.  Something happened that shook me to my core. I am still not recovered from it, and I don't think I ever will be.  However, it was the impetus to start something new...

I started researching meditation.  I need to relax.  My stress was sky-high after that day.  I've started a program I found on cassette at the library by Jon Kabat-Zinn.  He runs some big stress-reduction clinic through an east coast university.  Or something like that.  I really like it.  I've only listened to the first few cassettes, but have already been putting the breathing techniques to work.

Someday I will conquer the demons in my mind.

Yesterday, for the first time in nearly two years, I walked a 5K.  I was thrilled.  That night I did a kettlebell workout.  Today depression hit me hard and I was weepy all day long.  I have to beat this.

Tomorrow, the plan is to get to the gym in the morning.  That is the best anti-depressant there is--for me.

Yesterday and today my calories have been spot on.

Bad things will happen in life.  None of us can avoid them.  I personally need to learn to not let them consume me.  That is when I get all messed up.

Moving forward.

A quote that helps tremendously:

"You have made some mistakes and you may not be where you want to be, but that has nothing to do with your future."  Zig Zigar



"

Building Momentum

As days go on, I am building up my momentum.

Things are becoming more consistent, more regular, more routine.  My stomach is aware it is empty at the same time daily, my body craves movement when I typically move out, and I'm settling in well.

Mentally, I am facing ups and downs from people I don't even know, but I'm holding strong.

I make mistakes, I am human and subject to err.  I don't have to be perfect.

I'd say things are going very well.

I'm pleased.

Consistency is the key.

Better Day

I felt so much better today.  That is cause for celebration.

Tonight I hit the gym and did 25 minutes on the spin bike and some weights.  I came home and did a kettlebell workout.  Nothing like a really good workout to make the endorphins talk to you.

Calories at 1620 for the day.

It was a good day.  Tomorrow I will have another good day.

Thrift Store

I buy 99.999% of my pants at a thrift store.  I get to wear jeans all the time, so it works easily.  I like Levi's, and I scour thrift stores for them.  Not so good at finding Levi's capris for the summer, though.

I bought a few pair of capris for the summer, but they were a touch too big.  Today I put on my capris and could stand it no longer, they were much bigger and I had to pull them up continuously.  So off to the thrift store.  I found the next size down, tried them on, and they fit.

I came home and compared them to the current size of a clean pair.  Much smaller.  So I'm shrinking, because they were wearable until this morning.  The scale does not compare with the size, but I'm going with it.  The whole point is regardless of the size sewn in, physically they are smaller.  And they fit.

Score.

Keep on keeping on!

Perfection

More on perfection today.

I am a perfectionist.  That is not a good thing.  I am working on lightening up.

My eating was not on par today at all.  I ate things I shouldn't have and too many calories.  I was thinking about my blog tonight as I ran to Walmart for some groceries.  When I started eons ago, I ate crap.  I ate mac and cheese, processed foods, no vegetables...but I lost weight.  I lost and as time progressed, I got better.

So here's my epiphany.  I have always held that it is not good to throw everything out of your cupboards and fridge when starting a "diet."  Moderation.  Well, when you start, the thing is to start.  So you weigh out your potato chips, count the calories.  It's not healthy, but it works.  For Pete's sake, no one can be perfect.  And once we get some confidence built up, a few pounds gone, it makes it so much easier to ease into healthier eating.  All of a sudden those potato chips don't taste as good, the craving is gone.

And that is how to be.  Gentle.  Easy on your soul.  Nourishing to your soul.  This is a big, huge endeavor and all or nothing thinking (cleaning out the kitchen and expecting yourself to be a completely clean eater) is not going to work.  Gentle, step by step, and then one day you realize how healthful your dietary intake is.

That is my plan.

Either that or the Twinkie diet, but I really don't like diets.  And yes, that Twinkie diet actually did work   It's all about caloric deficit, however you choose to eat.  We cannot hold ourselves to perfection, we will fail because none of us is perfect.  Nor do we have to be.

Tomorrow, everything will be weighed, I will eat within calories, and not worry about perfection.  And at the end of the day when I hit my target, I will be one step up that staircase to success.