Goodbye Dad

My dad died in 2008.  One of the treasures I inherited from him was the red, Foreman grill.  I have used that more than any other appliance. (Well, not the coffee pot.)  The Teflon started flaking, and that's not safe.  So today we went out and got a new Foreman to replace it.

The new grill has ceramic plates, and I had to figure out what temperature to cook at rather than "medium."  I loved the new grill--it's new and improved, and I loved my old grill, so that's staying a lot.

I grill the majority of my protein.  This is a must-have for me.  This new grill will see me through to my weight-loss goal and into maintenance hopefully for years to come.

I've had several solid days of eating in a row. I am counting calories, hitting my target, and quite pleased. Yesterday I stepped up to the plate and told myself that I now had to get 10,000 steps here day.  At 11 last night, I was 2000 short.  By 11:30, I had my 10,000.

Persistence, commitment, dedication--yeah, that. 

That's how it works. I've always known that, but I couldn't get it all to come together.  There will be no "right" time, though, so it's now or never.

Boom, GO!!! 

TOPS

I joined TOPS last week.  I lost 4 pounds this week.

Face-to-face social support--priceless.

I think when you struggle, you need to reach out. If you are not finding what you need, you must keep looking.  An online support group with the wonderful Sean Anderson at The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser  slowly started changing my mindset, and that has been invaluable.  I built from there, going to the TOPS.

I don't have time to blog or read blogs anymore due to school, but I can take 45 minutes a week to go to a meeting.

Never, ever, ever give up.

I realized something.  I've been at this a long time, and damn it, I want to hit goal.  I want to be a fit person. I was there for awhile, but I've lost it.  I have limitations with my feet.  That doesn't mean I cannot be a fit person again--and I'm in the process.

Every damned day, moving forward.

Never, ever, ever giveup.

Snarky

I'm feeling really snarky tonight.  I just need to vent.  When someone has lost 108 pounds, as I have, and kept it off a couple years, as I have and then gained back, they didn't gain back because they didn't know **how to lose and eat nutritiously.** They gain back because of psychosocial factors, emotional and behavioral issues.  It's that simple.  Well, at least that's why I gained back.

And my snark is this--I know what I'm doing. Period. I've read countless scholarly articles, books, journals, studies, etc.  My information is science based, not fad/trend.  It is experiential--I lived it. And I just hate it when someone who has not in my shoes, goes on the bandwagon telling me what to do and how to eat.

We all have our journeys, they are personal, and we have to find what works **for us.**  We don't have to follow trends, we don't have to listen to people who need to be judgmental and put their two cents in (or their wooden nickel.)

I had a couple friends PM me this morning with long diatribes lecturing me about hormones, that losing weight is NOT about caloric deficit, and to only eat organic meat, etc.  Well, they're right--there are always circumstances when our bodily systems are out of whack and those do become issues.  For most people, though, caloric deficit works.  And I don't appreciate being told to go Paleo, to go low carb, to not eat anything processed--while I eat little processed food, a life without it is not going to happen. I will feel deprived.  For ME, a 80/20% rule works. I don't like to waste my calories on crap, but last night I truly enjoyed two beers.  So what!!!

Our journeys are our own, what works for us may not work for others and vice versa.  Your mileage may vary.  You have to find your own path.  What matters most is that you get positive support.

The most important thing we can have on this journey is positive support, a social network that gives us support when we need it.  The worst thing we can have are arm chair warrior who like to lecture, belittle and act as bossy know-it-alls.

My weight struggle has nothing to do with food, calories, or fitness.  It has everything to do with what's going on in my mind.  My past collides with my now.  I am haunted by many things.  When I get squared away with that, I will be unstoppable.  I was there once, and I will be again.

Try Something New!!!

Well, I decided to try something new: I joined an online weight-loss support group that is run by a coach and moderated by the fabulous Sean Anderson, long-time blogging buddy!  We have had our first meeting and I think it will be a tremendous learning experience.  I will give an honest review of my experience when it's all done, but I think it will be tremendous!

I am a social work major. One thing I have learned in every class, it's discussed almost every single day, and that is this: in life, social support is KEY.  You have to have social support.  So while this blog served as a good social support in years past, at this point I do not have time to read others' blogs due to my studies, so the support element is gone.  Yes, people leave positive comments here for which I am grateful, but you have to give support, too.  So a group setting is a fabulous tool.

I'm excited.

I will share my main group goal here:

Consistency.

If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times: consistency works. It is how you succeed.  I need to consistently work out, consistently count my calories, and consistently relax, de-stress.  Those are all important components to a healthful lifestyle.

There was once a point in my life where I didn't have to think twice about any of that--I was consistent, and my consistency paid off with improved health and fat loss.  It felt good.  That is my ultimate goal, because once a person is consistence, the weight will take care of itself.

So hat's off to Mr. Anderson for providing a great service plus a big dose of inspiration!!!

Don't Be Stupid

Don't be stupid, like I was.  Last week, I forget the day, I had only eaten about 300 calories' worth off of food.  It was supper time, my family and I were in Walmart, and boom.

I was walking next to my son and I told him I felt like I was falling to the left. I wasn't dizzy, but my balance was off.  He said I was perfectly straight.  As we were finishing the shopping, we ended up in the frozen food aisle.  And then IT happened.  That off-balance feeling hit me again, only I lost my balance, took about three steps back completely out of control, and the freezer door caught me.

I was sweating profusely and I felt sick.

And this blogger learned her lesson.

EAT.  

I was in the groove, feeling it, but that day for some reason I just didn't eat.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Good health is not something that can be bought, it is a very precious gift.  Everyone does stupid things from time to time, but this?  This was crazy.

And I know it.

I was eating 1200 calories a day, too.

Sure, the weight was coming off.  But at what expense?  MY HEALTH.

So I took a few days off.  One thing is certain: I will NEVER GIVE UP.  Re-thinking.  Time to up those calories, re-start my consistency campaign, and focus on health.

Don't be stupid.  We have one life to live.  Health is not rushing things, it's CONSISTENTLY exercising, eating nutritious foods with the right amount of calories.  While it's important to not be obese, taking weight off in an unhealthy manner exacerbates  things.

Be smart.  Eat.

Monday Morning Weigh-In

Down a whopping 6.5 pounds.

That's the way to start a Monday!!!

I'm Feeling It!!!

You know that feeling deep down in your soul when the stars are aligned and everything is just--right?  Yeah, I'm there.

I made a new and completely different plan for myself.  I calibrated my kitchen scale. New foods, new ideas, a new perspective.  I am starting fresh, and boom. I got "it."  I have the excitement, the desire, the determination, and the recipe for consistency.

I'm feeling it. That's what it takes.

In case you're not feeling it, please take this advice:  Fake it until you make it.

It takes confidence: I have it.  It takes determination: I have it.  It takes getting your head squared away:  There.

I haven't had this feeling in a very long time.  I like it.

I'm riding this wave, and if that feeling dissipates, I'll just fake it until it's back.

I'm worth it.  No matter what life is like, no matter how sad, depressing, happy, beautiful, whatever...health is always of utmost importance.  Follow your heart, listen to your soul.  Don't look in the mirror and see ugly, look into your soul and see your beauty.  We are all beautiful, we are all strong, and we all can do this.