I went to bed early (for me) tonight. I must have been fast asleep before 11. I woke up starving. My stomach was churning, so even though I had all my points for the day, I had a small snack.
Today I have my doctor appointment with the OBGYN. I had my original appointment on June 1st, and I must admit that due to cramping from that biopsy and plain old fear, I haven't done a whole heck of a lot in the past two and a half weeks.
The waiting is finally over. I hate not knowing what the future holds, and today I will find out. I think.
I did get my results from the mammogram today in the mail: NORMAL. Yay to that. For the longest time, I honestly believed that I would have the same ill health that my Mom had. I believed it was my destiny. I had a shift in thinking, telling myself that I didn't have to accept that fate. Heart disease, breast cancer, diabetes were the biggies she had, accompanied by a whole host of minor stuff. Hopefully I won't follow in her footsteps, I'm taking the steps to avoid all that. You just never know with health what is going to happen, though, even if you lead a healthful lifestyle.
Anyway, what's it going to be: hysterectomy or ablation. Or something else. As much as I would love to never have to face another period, or any more pain, I know a hysterectomy has a 6-week recovery period. I have had a myomectomy and a C-section. Same incision, same muscles cut, so I know physically that it is hell for the first two weeks. Yet, that just sounds so appealing to be done with everything once and for all. Only real cure for fibroids is a hysterectomy.
I hope I can get back to sleep. My stomach is no longer growling. I know it's not good to eat in the middle of the night.
I'm going to admit a deep, dark secret here: I'm scared. At least I will know. Knowledge is power.
knowledge is power, action is power, love is power..friendship is power..whatever you need babe-I'll be there from here for you..
ReplyDeleteprayers and thoughts going up for you and the family!
*hugs* hope all goes well.
ReplyDelete*positive vibes* x
knowledge is power and it is SO SO SO OK to be afraid.
ReplyDeleteand for me so often letting the fear OUT into the light of day helps to lessen it as well.
Hugs and prayers,
Carla
Hugs and prayers...
ReplyDeleteEleanor Roosevelt said: "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."
ReplyDeleteYou've got this, jo.
We are all sending positive vibes you way. Hope all goes well for you. You have every right to be scared. I would be too, if I didn't know what was coming. Once you know, the knowledge will then be your power, and you'll deal with it face to face, stare it down AND WIN!! Good luck today.
ReplyDelete