I just got a phone call. It was my library, where I volunteer, and they asked if I would make treats for a special function they were having Thursday night.
I lied. I told her I'd be out of town Thursday night.
Now I will have to get in my car and drive 3 miles to the city limits, drive out of the city limits and then go home. That way it won't be a lie.
And yes, I will really do that because I don't like to lie.
When I volunteered, I did not check the baking box. Nope, because I didn't want to bake for the library. This is the third time they have called and asked me to do so. Grr.
I don't want to bake now. I sat with a plate of brownies 2 feet in front of me when I volunteered at the library book sale awhile back and did fine. I don't think I could handle a pan of bars or brownies baking in my house, though. The smell would get me. My recipes would get me. I can't do that. Yet.
Besides, Thursday is a busy day for me. I have my doctor appointment that day. I may or may not be emotional. I may have hubby take me to dinner. I just don't know what state of mind I will be in. The last thing I want to do is come home from the doctor and bake. Not therapeutic, not gonna happen.
So I'm a liar. I could have told her the truth, but sometimes that's just TMI. I am known to be a little verbose. So I will drive out of the city limits so it will not be a lie, because that is easier than telling the truth. But I guess now it is the truth because I do plan to go out of town Thursday night.
I'm warped.
And so it goes.
I would call it a good save. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. I would have done the same thing. Good blog.
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT warped! You are just looking out for YOU and that is o.k.
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with "I'm sorry, I can't." ? And leave it at that. It's pretty easy, you don't have to do any driving, and you don't really owe an explanation anyway?
ReplyDeleteor "I'm sorry, there must be an error on my volunteer sheet. This is the third time you've called me for baking, and I don't bake. Is there something else I can do for the library?"
That way you probably won't get a fourth call for brownies.
Nope, I'd have done the same thing. No way I could stand to have brownies, cookies, cakes, ect. in the house with me and not eat them! Good for you!
ReplyDeleteKate, you are absoutely right on this one. The problem is, I don't usually say no and I have to learn how to do it. I don't think to be assertive. I don't think. I immediately go into panic/guilt mode for not wanting to do what is asked of me.
ReplyDeleteI will work on that one.
I think this lie is okay. You did it to prevent yourself from being tempted. Nothing wrong with that!
ReplyDeleteBesides, why are they calling if you didn't check that you wanted to do that?!
I'm a people-pleaser too. Instead of confronting the issue/person, I would give in and then internalize the anger by overeating. I'm learning not to do that anymore. In the past, I probably would have driven to the city limits too -- it's easier than dealing with the issue/person. But, I'm with Fab Kate now...a polite "sorry, no" (with no explanation because you don't owe anyone an explanation) would be fine.
ReplyDeleteI would have said the same thing. Im not good at saying no without adding something to it. Thanks for the positive comments on my blog this morning!
ReplyDeleteI would have done the same thing. Thank you for you and your blog. :)
ReplyDeleteI say good for you. Yeah, it would probably be better if you told then sorry but no, but I'm very non-confrontational and I don't think I could do that either...You're looking out for you and that's important :D
ReplyDeleteAww hang in there! I'm bad at saying no too.
ReplyDeleteBut I think you making the decision to not do it (have nice-smelling brownies in the house) is great, and it doesn't matter how you communicate the rest. hehe I mean, we're not all the same personality and have the same way with people. Whatever works for you should be good :)
I wouldn't want brownies baking in my oven either...and you are right...that may be a hard day for you.
ReplyDeleteIn response to your question about my son: When hubby walks with me, then the kids come along. However, most of the time he doesn't come along and most of the time the kids are whining that they don't want to go and I usually walk for an hour and they get very bored and whiny. To be honest, I enjoy having the hour to myself. But I *do* need to find ways to get him more active.
You know what, see this as progress. At least you said no. The next lesson would be to say no without offering a reason. You are allowed, you know! You may also want to mention that you specifically indicated that you won't bake, and that you will appreciated not being asked to in future. You don't have to justify your decision to anybody... Personal reasons are personal!
ReplyDeleteI'm with FabKate-I would have either said no, with no explanation the first time, but by the third time I would point out the "no baking" thing. None of their damn business why, you're volunteering, after all. I may have been a people-pleaser at one point, now maybe I'm too abrasive. Yet another thing for me to work on.
ReplyDeleteBTW, if you point out the "no baking" thing, and they think you mean it, they'll stop asking you.
ReplyDeleteLOL, you did good - time to put yourself first for once.
ReplyDeleteI would have said yes and gone out and bought some ready made (and been sorely tempted too), lol!
I wouldn't look at it as a lie, exactly. I'd look at it as more of an attempt to save time for yourself and have the time and space you may need after your doctor's visit. Then, after a short period of time, I'd reiterate that you do not want to bake for the Library any longer. YOu'll do anything else, just NOT bake.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing so well, I sure wouldn't want this to put you off the track.
I'm the same way Jo, don't like to say no and then panic and get myself worked up over it. I wouldn't "sweat the small stuff" like I've heard a million times. I think Kate had a good suggestion too about asking if there was something else you could do besides baking. Hang in there and don't worry about it.
ReplyDeletelol. I like it. Do whatever YOU want. Yeah. *nods*
ReplyDeleteAfter 3 calls about it, I would probably just go ahead and say "I have reasons for not wanting to bake. I'm always happy to help in any other way, but I can't do the baking. Sorry." Plenty of people just love baking, and that way they won't waste their time calling you and putting you both in a funny situation. Everyone's happy forever and ever!
ReplyDelete