Conflict/I'm a Ninny

I hate, hate, hate dealing with conflict.

Today I called the newspaper office (fifth time this year) because we didn't get a paper Saturday, Monday or today. I've talked to the guy many times, and the last time he said he'd fire the kid. He had called him, gone to his house, talked to him until he was green in the face, but for some reason he won't consistently deliver to our house. The boy misses three or four days in a row about every other week. I don't call often enough to complain.

I started out very nice, because I AM nice and because it's a kid. I told him this has got to stop, because we paid for our paper and we are not getting it. We've gotten so many credits, and I don't want credits, I just want my paper.

So as I was being nice, the man got frustrated. All of a sudden he got angry and started blaming me.

You need to call the carrier, not here. Where is your orange card that the boy gave you when he started the route?

I never received an orange card. I had no idea who the carrier was until I called your office the last time.

Where is your house?

I tell him.

Oh, that house. Said in a tone like we have the most disgusting house on the face of the earth. He got very angry. Do you have a box?

Yes.

Where?

I tell him.

I don't like that box.

This pissed me off big time. My son made that box when he was 9 and it won a blue ribbon and 2nd place overall in its category at the county fair. I said: I don't care.

It sits on the ground.

Too bad. (I drove down the street and most people's boxes are on the ground.)

It's always full of papers (no it's not!) and I don't like that box.

I said: Too bad. The point of this conversation is not whether you like or dislike our newspaper box, it is that we are not getting the newspaper. This not my fault, this has been happening all year, and it's unfair. We are being stolen from because we paid for a product that we are not receiving.

He hemmed and hawed. Well, you are right about that. But kids can be forgetful.

For days in a row? How many times have you called them and gone to their home?

He started getting argumentative again, stating it is ironic that it is only our house on this route that is having problems. Plus, as he went on, in my mind he was calling me a liar or accusing me of something.

I said STOP. Look, we paid for a one-year subscription for our paper, and we want a paper. You are giving me excuses. All I want is my newspaper.

I was pissed and he knew it. He said he'd drive out, deliver the paper, and talk to the boy.

Hubby got home and waited for the guy. I hid in the garage and eavesdropped. That guy was nice as pie. It made me absolutely sick. I was mad.

If you do something wrong, take responsibility. Even though he personally did nothing wrong in not delivering papers, I contracted with his newspaper, not with the delivery boy. He is the employer, and he has to take responsibility for the boy's actions.

As reserved as I am, I just simply would not tolerate him making this my fault. That was bullshit. That's a typical bully tactic and I'm done playing with bullies.

I also do not understand why he was so sickeningly sweet to my husband and treated me like dirt. Sadly, that is very typical in this town. My husband and I have talked about that since we moved here, it's like going back 50 years in time. Men are great and women are not.

Where is customer service? Especially in this day and age, where newspapers are going under, where money is tight? We will NOT be renewing our newspaper subscription when this runs out. I'll read it at the library or at McDonald's over a cup of coffee before I spend money on it again.

~~~

Did I turn to food? YES, I did. I told hubby I was too upset to cook (I was shaking, when will I get over this stupid anxiety crap?) and so we went to Subway. I ate within points, but I still went for ease and comfort. Not so great. I need to get over that instant gratification, because even though I was within points, it wasn't a healthy reaction.

How stupid to get upset over a newspaper!

But, I still will take two steps forward on this. Why? Because I stood up to the guy. I was still fairly polite, but I didn't take his sh*t. While I would have acted this way five years ago, I wouldn't have done it in the past year and a half.

Why can't people just get along? Be professional? Be courteous? You're not getting your paper? I'll take care of it. That's all that was needed.

Sometimes I feel like such a ... looking for a word ... ninny??? posting this kind of stuff. I want it here, though, because I do go back and re-read, and I want to push myself and grow, and I forget this kind of thing if I don't write it down.

No Xanax was taken, I got over it when my belly was full. Not so good=food doesn't make it all better, nor does a full belly.

So I'll only give myself one step forward on this one for standing up to the a$$. I don't know what to do about the food thing--I was within points, but I know that it was done wrong and I could have snapped very easily and eaten stuff I should have. But I didn't.

ugh
The ninny

p.s. Why do I react for standing up for myself like this? Why does it make me shake? I did nothing wrong, in fact I think I was right to not take his crap--so why did I react the way I did? Stupid, really, but is it lack of confidence? What is it?