Weight loss is like marriage, it goes through certain stages. At first it's exciting, just like the honeymoon stage of marriage. You're in love, you've chosen a weight loss program that is sensible, you're eating better, the scale is showing you great numbers--it's the center of your life. As time moves on, the excitement wanes, it becomes ordinary and commonplace. Then you go through an adjustment. With time, it all settles and evens out, and you enjoy your weight loss journey and maintenance for life. There will always be ups and downs, but it works.
There are times you are annoyed as hell. Like marriage, when you discover your spouse isn't perfect like you once suspected, you discover that your weight loss program isn't perfect, either. It doesn't meet your moods, it cannot coexist with your desire to de-stress by eating a cheesecake or brownies or movie theater popcorn. Yet like marriage, you stick with it. Sometimes you give it your all, sometimes you just go through the motions.
Like marriage, it's difficult to make it work, but like a marriage, it's worth it.
So in my journey, I've recently gone through that shift from honeymoon to commonplace. The excitement is gone, the drudgery is on. (Not that marriage is drudgery, but the weight loss is--or can be.) I knew this day would come. I was prepared for it. It's now that I need to be more determined than ever. Game on.
I'm a daily weigher. I don't do it to see instant results, I do it to remain mindful. The times in my life when I did not weigh second thing every morning, I would eat whatever and gain. The times in my life when I did weigh daily, my weight and health were always in my mind and I did better. It helps me figure out what foods overload my body with water. It helps me watch my patterns that my body has. This past week the scale has not been kind, even though I have stayed within point range. I can't help but wonder if my stinking thinking (honeymoon is over) has effected that scale. The mind is a powerful thing. I do not get stressed out over numbers, as it is only one way of measuring success. If I stressed about the scale, I wouldn't weigh daily.
I have lost site of some very important things on this journey:
cardio
strength training
mini-goals to improve my eating
My journey has not been one about being sexy, getting skinny, etc. My journey has been about health all along. When I started in February, I thought I was dying. I really believed I was. I thought I had abused my body so much that I wouldn't be able to fix it. I was convinced I had diabetes, that my borderline high blood pressure would no longer be borderline. I knew I had had problems with high triglycerides for years. I couldn't move, bend, walk into a store without getting winded. Getting up in the morning was exhausting. I always hurt and I was always tired. I was in pain. My body, mind and spirit all were in pain.
I need to remember those things. I'm not going back. When the honeymoon is over, it's time to re-evaluate. It's time to remember why one started. I was miserable. I am no longer miserable, but I could sure be better than where I am--that's the whole point of the journey.
I have made great strides these last six months. I've lost 44.5 pounds, I've done a tremendous amount of work on my mental status. I've worked things out, boosted my confidence, and stepped life up a notch.
It's time to move forward. While the excitement is gone, that "Wow, I'm losing, I think can do this" is in the past, it needs to change to "Slow and steady wins the race, I will succeed." My next six months I really need to focus on making my body stronger. I need to focus on that which I have struggled with the most: exercise.
If I can change my food, which was difficult, surely I can develop an exercise program for me. Maybe the honeymoon phase will come back, maybe not. Yet, I am determined. I have beat diabetes, high blood pressure. I'm still on triglyceride meds. My lipid panel was not that great in June. Exercise will help that tremendously. I can do this. I need to strengthen my heart, improve my blood work. I need to find what works for me.
Bottom line: While the honeymoon is over, I have extreme determination to continue to get better. I want health--good health. No, great health.
I can do it.
It's so great that you have such good goals, and such definite thoughts on where you want to be.
ReplyDeleteThe honeymoon analogy is wonderful. In the beginning stages of my weight loss journey I loved everything about it, but as time went on, and I saw how much more I still needed to lose, I had to make adjustments.
Keep up your great attitude!
Slow and steady does win the race every time :)
ReplyDelete44.5 lbs is great!!
I am inspired by your resolve and positive energy. I fear the ending of the honeymoon stage, too, but I know this time around is the last time around for me. I'l have to look back at this post when I'm feeling myself wavering. Great post, Jo!
ReplyDeleteAttitude is everything. I love yours.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the initial excitement does wane, never underestimate the power of those major non-scale victories. They can make you feel like it's the honeymoon all over!
I understand your daily weigh-in philosophy. Everyone is different. Me, I couldn't take it. I know several people that have written about how it's crushed them into depression. But again---attitude is everything. And how we react to those numbers and the overall outlook for our future---determines if we can be a daily weigher without negative effects.
You're living proof that it can be done with a level head. My friend Whit is the same way. She weighs every single morning and uses that information to organize her plan of attack. If she notices a sharp gain---then she cuts back on sodium and increases her water intake. She might push herself harder at the gym too.
It's the attitude.
For those that let the scale numbers dictate their emotions in a negative way---I tell those people to stop weighing everyday. I'm one of those people. I couldn't do it.
My best always
Sean
I am right there with ya. It has been 6 months and I am down 51 lbs. and have much more to go but the umphh hasn't been there the last few weeks. Thanks for putting into words the feelings I have been experiencing. We are both going to get there and I look forward to getting there with you Jo!!
ReplyDeleteYou WILL get through this! The honeymoon stage may be over, but the marriage is still just starting out. If you continue your analogy, you know that you are in a life long committment. It will take time and effort (and maybe even a councellor or two), but you will be able to make this work. Your journey has inspired so many and we have faith in you. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I find myself in the same position, where the fascination with the diet is losing oomph. But it's not lost, I am resolved to stick with it.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya! Remember my weeks recently when I gained for two weeks. :) I admire your motivation to continue with such a great attitude.
ReplyDeleteYou can & will do it Jo. I have complete & utter faith in your ability to do so.
ReplyDeleteYou have come very far these past 6 months &, indeed, the honeymoon may return when you find that work out groove. I haven't found it myself, but I hear it is terrific. ;)
Best wishes on your continued journey towards health & fitness!!
Excellent post, as always! Keep your eyes on the long-term prize and you'll get there.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you, girl. I've SO lost sight of so many things...water intake, eating snacks to keep from binging at night, discipline after dinner, fiber intake, and most especially exercise.
ReplyDeleteThose are the keys!! I'm skating along at this point and THANK YOU for this post. I NEEDED to hear this! You are an absolute inspiration. :)
I like to weigh daily to be mindful, as well. I tried going without the daily weigh-in. It didn't work for me. I need that day-to-day reminder.
ReplyDeleteJust cause the honeymoon is over doesn't mean that "married people sex" is not fun. I'm with you. The newness has worn off, but we have to keep trudging. You have done great, and can do it!
ReplyDeleteWhen the honeymoon is over, real life begins. It may be harder but it's a real change!
ReplyDeleteWe are thinking along the same lines again, dear Jo!
ReplyDeleteThere's a line in "A Chorus Line" that says "and now life really begins."