A Post from Last Year...

This post was written on February 19, 2009 at the start of my journey.

282.5

naked...

Monday morning...

how in the h*ll did I get so fat!

Day four with Weight Watchers.

I lost 72 pounds once before, I will do it again.

***Imagine that, a touch over a year later, I've lost 72 pounds again.
This time I have no desire to quit--only go forward. Not overwhelmed, not
afraid of being below 200 anymore.***

I'm more realistic this time. I have no goal of weighing 120 pounds. Right now I'm shooting for 250. Then 225. Then 200. Then 175. I think I'll call 'er good at 175.

***Well, 175 isn't going to cut it. I have changed my goal since this to
162 which was the top of some chart I read. Once I get to 162, I'll just
have to see what my body is like and whether or not to keep going. My bet
is I'll keep going a bit.***

Reminder to self:

I feel like sh*t. Not anymore!
I hurt all the time. Physical pain daily. Well, with my ovary issue--this may be true, but it's not quite the same hurt as I had when I was morbidly obese.
My ankles are huge. Not any more--they're normal!
My face is fat. Well, it is still. But it's not nearly as round, swollen and rolly polly as it was.
Everything is fat. Yes, I'm still fat. I have some pretty happening forearms though. lol
I can't bend. My flexibility is amazing. I can stand and touch my toes without bending my knees. I can do leg lifts. I can bend in many different ways. And yes, I can tie my shoes.
I have constant IBS, according to my doc. I say it's a localized pain and it hurts like h*ll. It's hurting now, bad. Well, there's that pain thing again. Amazing how finding a new doctor who is pro-active will set things in motion. I do NOT have IBS, and I never did. The old doctor was placating me. Didn't do one bit of testing, just said I had IBS when I showed him where the pain was. Now we know it is my ovary that is the issue.

I'm not motivated by being pretty, getting skinny, showing someone, being the best...my motivation is two-fold: fear of diabetes and PAIN. Still have health motivation, but being the best--MY best--is a huge motivator now.

I am lethargic. Not really. (I can be lazy, though.)
I am tired. Not really. My insomnia is gone, gone, gone. I get a good night's sleep and wake up at the same time every morning. When I'm tired, it's because I have *worked* my tail off. It's a healthy tired.
I have headaches every day. Can't tell you the last time I had a headache.

Whoever said it's easy to be fat doesn't know what it's like.
It's not easy getting healthy, either. But man oh man, is it ever worth it!