My Dad died two years ago today. I don't cry or get upset, as he was 81 and it was his time. I do miss him, though. Watching HBO's The Pacific has had me wondering what his WWII experience was, as he was a Marine in the South Pacific.
~~~
I hate that this blog has become so negative. I cringe and I'm not posting like I used to. I'll just share that the past week has been very hellish as the pain has been very high. Tried to work out on Saturday, and made it 30 minutes through a step routine and had to stop as I was hurting too much. Today I was feeling desperate for a strength workout, so I put in a Cathe STS disk. Surprisingly, I was able to do most of it even though I was in pain. Interestingly, the overhead presses hurt my pain area really bad so I just didn't do them. Also had to modify the push ups that I already modify. lol I felt pleased and much better knowing I did my weights, though.
Pain is still really bad tonight, and I hope to do a cardio tomorrow--time will tell.
It's growing old, fast. I broke down yesterday and sobbed. Actually I wept off and on all day and then finally broke into sobs. Pain, stress and worry, not being able to move like I want to, it just all hit yesterday. Much better today, no tears--even on dad's anniversary.
I have such hope that this pain can be taken care of--and I keep thinking how lucky I am to have the hope and the probability that it will be eliminated. My heart aches for those who suffer chronic pain, especially with no hope of getting relief. Counting my lucky stars on that.
Weighed in the same, which just makes me so mad. I can't help but wonder if the stress, the "whatever is wrong" is just messing up my losses. Of course not being able to exercise doesn't help, either.
Tomorrow I'll try a cardio. Tomorrow I'll also exercise patience. Four weeks from today until surgery. Seems so far away, especially after a week like the past week. Saying prayers, crossing my fingers, and filled with hope.
Can't wait until I can be more positive here--but this just consumes me and I'm not a perky change-the-subject type person. I wear it all on my sleeve.
~~~
Miss you, Dad.
well, the blog is the perfect place to lay it all down. You should be able to type what it is you are going through. Good brother, if you can't be honest ON YOUR OWN BLOG where can you be honest. I hope to high heaven that the doctor will fix the problem and not put it off. Hugs to you. and considering the circumstances, maintenance is a BIG win.
ReplyDeleteoh, and I got so one track minded I forgot to say I am sorry about your dad...it may have been his time, but it doesn't make your loss any easier. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to lose your dad, no matter how old he was. I lost my dad when I was only 12. I still miss him every day. I mean that. Everyday I think of him and wish he was still alive. There is nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteSorry you are in so much pain these days. I fully understand. For the past 10 years or so I've been in daily pain and even though I've had two surgeries I still hurt every day and will for the rest of my life. I've noticed it is getting worse as I get older. But, you somehow find a way to live with it. You have to. You just have to.
But I have had my fair share of crying too. It's hard to be up all the time.
Hang in there!
Hugs,
Joanne
What cmoursler said! This is your space to say what you need to say and vent what you need to vent!
ReplyDeleteI hope the pain gets better, and good luck with your cardio tomorrow.
Hugs to you.
I can not agree with the comments above enough.
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS THE PLACE FOR YOU TO FIND COMFORT AND KNOW YOU CAN LET IT ALL HANG OUT.
xo xo
Carla
Its been a while since I have come to check on you and I am sorry to find you in such pain physically and emotionally. I also have had one of the worst weeks in my recent memory, but each day is a step toward healing.
ReplyDeleteHang in there...hugs to you.
Pam @ The Rest Of The Journey (new blog born from Journey To The Healthier Side of Life)
Hugs to you I hope you get to feeling better. This is the place to share your problems. It always helps me to pour it out to my blogger buddies. I hope your pain gets better.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your good Dad.
ReplyDeleteI asked my Mother once, when she herself was 80: "How long does it take to get over the death of a parent?" How long did it take HER to get over losing HER Mother.
She looked me square in the eye and said...."You NEVER get over it."
this is YOUR blog. Write for yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the tough times for you. Don't apologize for writing what you feel. Blogs aren't all happy/happy all the time. They reflect the immediacy of what is going on in your life. If it helps to write it, keep doing it.
ReplyDelete