My Mind is TIRED

I'm tired of thinking, tired of deciphering, tired of trying to figure out why my body is holding on so darned tight to the weight. I'm tired of working out hard and having great calorie burns, great deficits daily, and my body holding on to the weight.

I started doing more research--that's all I ever seem to do. I've read The American Heart Association's Website dietary recommendations, the Kidney Organization's, The American Cancer Society's. I've read about metabolic syndrome, insulin resistance, and kidney stone prevention.

My mind is SPINNING.

Today I was in a big city with a real book store. I went to the diet section and decided to look for some inspiration. I laughed out loud standing there in that section. You name it, there's a diet. Book after book after book.

The bottom line is this: eat a plant-based diet, healthy fats (olive oil, olive oil and more olive oil!), lean meats, complex carbs--whole grain only, eliminate processed foods, drink plenty of water, and consume fewer calories than you expend.

If only it were that simple. I think, though, that it is that simple. There are some things I could do to better my dietary intake. I've started consuming a tablespoon of olive oil daily, for starters. I need to dump the rest of the processed garbage that I eat. I don't eat a lot of it, but enough that I think it makes a difference.

It's a lot more work to eat this way. More kitchen time. Have I mentioned I'm kitchen challenged? I get into that "I have to further give up" mentality, too. Stinking thinking.

I used to believe that you could eat whatever you wanted as long as you were in your calorie range and be okay. That's how I started out and it worked. I knew deep in my heart, though, that wasn't true and I very slowly started making changes. The thing is, that needs to be constant--one cannot quit tweaking their diet. So time to tweak some more.

I'm just so very tired of trying to figure everything out. It's tough balancing a kidney stone diet which eliminates some very healthy foods, plant-based foods! (Beans, spinach, soy, etc.) Yet I have to do it, I have to figure it out.

Working out is something a love and NOT a problem for me at all. However, I even have room to grow here as well. Interval training (HIIT) has been proven to be very effective in raising HDL. I need to raise my HDL. I don't do a lot of interval training--in fact, I haven't done an interval workout in a long time. I tend to prefer steady state cardio. So I can tweak there as well. Cathe to the rescue.

I had wanted to do The FIRM's 90-Day Rotation. At this point, though, after careful consideration, I think I'll finish out the week and stop the rotation and add in some interval and circuit work. Cathe has had a fantastic sale and I just ordered some more of her DVDs which arrived today. They're tough, but I think at this point I need to challenge myself some more.

Yesterday I had a meltdown. I cried. I just don't understand how it works for some people so perfectly, and others struggle. My body chemistry is messed up. It's like I have to work four times as hard to get anywhere. I cried and whined to my husband. I think he thought I was giving up, because he said, "But Jo, think, you've lost 80 pounds, you don't want to mess that up." He didn't get my complaints. I'm just in a rather bad mood over all this. I'm never giving up, even though I throw out, "Forget this, why bother, or, well, worse." Just because I'm whining doesn't mean I'm throwing in the towel. Far from it.

It stinks, though. Why does it have to be so hard? Two steps forward, one step back...that's just the way it goes for me.

Marching forward, fight on, I'll get there. Maybe it was bad luck to rename my blog The Tortoise. S~l~o~w. However, the tortoise did win the race.