The day I last entered a blog post was a bad day for me. Something happened that shook me to my core. I am still not recovered from it, and I don't think I ever will be. However, it was the impetus to start something new...
I started researching meditation. I need to relax. My stress was sky-high after that day. I've started a program I found on cassette at the library by Jon Kabat-Zinn. He runs some big stress-reduction clinic through an east coast university. Or something like that. I really like it. I've only listened to the first few cassettes, but have already been putting the breathing techniques to work.
Someday I will conquer the demons in my mind.
Yesterday, for the first time in nearly two years, I walked a 5K. I was thrilled. That night I did a kettlebell workout. Today depression hit me hard and I was weepy all day long. I have to beat this.
Tomorrow, the plan is to get to the gym in the morning. That is the best anti-depressant there is--for me.
Yesterday and today my calories have been spot on.
Bad things will happen in life. None of us can avoid them. I personally need to learn to not let them consume me. That is when I get all messed up.
Moving forward.
A quote that helps tremendously:
"You have made some mistakes and you may not be where you want to be, but that has nothing to do with your future." Zig Zigar
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I'm glad you posted. It sounds like you are working through this. and you should remember that 5K whenever you doubt.
ReplyDeleteFantastic to read a post from you---and this one, so good, Jo. Thank you for sharing your strength. You're a powerful person. What you're doing is standing up and saying--"I will not allow this to take me down!!!!" And then you're proceeding with the thoughts, practices and routines that give you the best chance to feel better and to overcome. And that's what's so beautiful about reading what you write...You're overcoming, Jo. Just like the rest of us who are trying our best--you're not giving up, even though it's the easiest thing to do... The meditations...wow, thank you for reminding me of the resources available for free at my library. I've been contemplating spending big bucks (well, relative to my finances) on a meditation program--something to give my meditations more structure--and I bet I could follow your lead and find something wonderful at the library. :) The exercise alleviating or at least dramatically improving depression is so real, with scientific proof of its effectiveness.. Not that I needed any other proof than what I get when I walk away after a workout--feels incredible. The 5K walk the other day--Jo, after all you've been through, I imagine you felt the same joy as if you had just completed a marathon.. I read your status update on Facebook about it, and it was so awesome to read. So uplifting, beautiful. My best Jo, always. Smiling from ear to ear for you.
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