More deep thinking this morning.
I've been at this for five months tomorrow. I think that it is time to stop, evaluate, and re-evaluate. I think it is time to update my goals, as they do change.
If we keep on going without analyzing and making tweaks, it's going to get boring quickly. I don't want that. I have made some fantastic changes in the last five months, mentally and physically. Time to give myself a bit more of a push.
If I continue at this rate, I will lose 70 pounds by December. So put in those terms, that's encouraging. I would really like to be out of the 200s by the end of the year, though. Anything is possible.
I will try to get some photos taken. I didn't do photos last month, and I want to see in pictures progress. Hopefully later today or tomorrow.
I'm going to spend the rest of my day being productive with my chores and errands while in deep thought over what I want now.
Onward and upward.
Jo, still clueless but working on it
7.15.2009
.9 whine
This morning my sister emailed me. She asked me how WW was going. She then told me she lost a whopping 1/4 pound last night at tops. She told me to lose weight now, because as you get older, it is a lot harder. She is 54, 10 years older than me.
I wrote back and told her that I am already feeling the age.
This past weekend I spent a lot of time going over my journals, reading all the program books I have starting with 1-2-3. I re-worked some of my recipes to check points. I re-calculated my points in my journal. Everything was spot on. This weekend WW told me my average weight loss per week was 1.2 pounds.
Monday, with my whopping .5 loss, my average dropped. I am losing .9 per week.
I'm not giving up, I'm persevering, and if it takes forever and a day, so be it. But damn it all, WHY? Why am I eating at target and not losing a little better? Exercise may or may not be a factor. I run through spurts. It is kind of pain dependent for me.
I look back to when I did WW 7 year ago, and I checked those journals. Yes, I kept them. Aside from the fact I'm better with fruits and veggies today, I ate pretty much the same way. I had fantastic losses then. I did not exercise consistently then at all. I mean once every couple weeks. I don't know the average because I was going to meetings, but I lost 72 pounds in 8 months.
What gives?
I like WW online. I like it a lot. I don't have to go out of my comfort zone and sit by myself at the clicky WW meetings. I do miss the leader, as I really liked her. Again, I also knew her through Cub Scouts--I met some great people in Scouts.
If I were going to meetings, I think I would arrive early and sit and visit with her about this. If the average loss is 1-2 pounds a week, I'm no longer hitting average. And the thing that sucks is that aside from my birthday, I am on plan.
I am now 44. That could be a factor. I have been under an extreme amount of stress, which is lifting, but last year about did me in. I am now taking Tricor for triglycerides, and I wasn't then even though my triglycerides were high then. I am faithful with vitamins now, then I wasn't. I do have all these pain issues that I've tried not to whine about too much in the last couple weeks, but they're still with me. Hopefully that will be taken care of on Friday.
I just can't figure it out. Now my attitude is this is for health. Then it was a diet, I'd lose, and then eat normally. (Which made me gain it all back plus some.) Now I know that this is for life--with the goal of getting my food healthier as I go along.
I am really perplexed. A couple of week I went back to Winning Points. That's the program I did where I lost all my weight. I can't even make up my mind if I want to do WP, use flex points, or do Momentum.
I think I may be making this harder than it has to be. ? I don't know. All I know is that I am a bit frustrated. If I were cheating, it wouldn't bother me, but I'm not.
My husband's only thought is that due to age, I have lost muscle mass. Yet, even though I'm not lifting, I can really feel my muscles building in my arms and legs. They're firming up. I think that's due to Richard Simmons' videos.
I wrote to my sister that no matter how small the losses, I'm sticking with it and so should she. I was sad to learn she's on insulin now. That was motivating to me because I don't want that. Two siblings with diabetes, both parents had it--my biggest goal has been in avoiding it. So far so good.
.9 It's better than maintaining, it's better than gaining, and it is moving in the right direction. That doesn't mean I have to like that average number, because I don't. But thank God it is going in the right direction.
Whine over.
Jo, who is clueless
I wrote back and told her that I am already feeling the age.
This past weekend I spent a lot of time going over my journals, reading all the program books I have starting with 1-2-3. I re-worked some of my recipes to check points. I re-calculated my points in my journal. Everything was spot on. This weekend WW told me my average weight loss per week was 1.2 pounds.
Monday, with my whopping .5 loss, my average dropped. I am losing .9 per week.
I'm not giving up, I'm persevering, and if it takes forever and a day, so be it. But damn it all, WHY? Why am I eating at target and not losing a little better? Exercise may or may not be a factor. I run through spurts. It is kind of pain dependent for me.
I look back to when I did WW 7 year ago, and I checked those journals. Yes, I kept them. Aside from the fact I'm better with fruits and veggies today, I ate pretty much the same way. I had fantastic losses then. I did not exercise consistently then at all. I mean once every couple weeks. I don't know the average because I was going to meetings, but I lost 72 pounds in 8 months.
What gives?
I like WW online. I like it a lot. I don't have to go out of my comfort zone and sit by myself at the clicky WW meetings. I do miss the leader, as I really liked her. Again, I also knew her through Cub Scouts--I met some great people in Scouts.
If I were going to meetings, I think I would arrive early and sit and visit with her about this. If the average loss is 1-2 pounds a week, I'm no longer hitting average. And the thing that sucks is that aside from my birthday, I am on plan.
I am now 44. That could be a factor. I have been under an extreme amount of stress, which is lifting, but last year about did me in. I am now taking Tricor for triglycerides, and I wasn't then even though my triglycerides were high then. I am faithful with vitamins now, then I wasn't. I do have all these pain issues that I've tried not to whine about too much in the last couple weeks, but they're still with me. Hopefully that will be taken care of on Friday.
I just can't figure it out. Now my attitude is this is for health. Then it was a diet, I'd lose, and then eat normally. (Which made me gain it all back plus some.) Now I know that this is for life--with the goal of getting my food healthier as I go along.
I am really perplexed. A couple of week I went back to Winning Points. That's the program I did where I lost all my weight. I can't even make up my mind if I want to do WP, use flex points, or do Momentum.
I think I may be making this harder than it has to be. ? I don't know. All I know is that I am a bit frustrated. If I were cheating, it wouldn't bother me, but I'm not.
My husband's only thought is that due to age, I have lost muscle mass. Yet, even though I'm not lifting, I can really feel my muscles building in my arms and legs. They're firming up. I think that's due to Richard Simmons' videos.
I wrote to my sister that no matter how small the losses, I'm sticking with it and so should she. I was sad to learn she's on insulin now. That was motivating to me because I don't want that. Two siblings with diabetes, both parents had it--my biggest goal has been in avoiding it. So far so good.
.9 It's better than maintaining, it's better than gaining, and it is moving in the right direction. That doesn't mean I have to like that average number, because I don't. But thank God it is going in the right direction.
Whine over.
Jo, who is clueless
Amazing Day
I had another amazing day.
The other night I voiced, meditated, prayed on loneliness. I have several very good friends--deeply good friends. I'm very fortunate. Sadly, none live anywhere near. The closest is three hours away. So I miss the face-to-face contact, and talk on the phone a lot.
Last night when we were at Subway, I ran into a gal that I really like. We were in Cub Scouts together, our sons got along really well, and we got together a few times. As it turns out, life got in the way for me and we lost contact. I just felt it was pretty amazing that we met out of the blue. We're planning on getting together to catch up.
Today, I woke up really late. I couldn't sleep last night as I was in deep thought about life in general. Once I got up, started coffee and blogs, the phone rang. Two and a half hours later, I hung up. It was my aunt and uncle calling. We had the most amazing conversation--powerful, funny, uplifting.
After that I spent some time with my poor neglected son (who was having a blast doing some game and playing with the dogs). I started to do my chores when the phone rang again. This time it was a good friend from the east coast. We chatted for a long while, laughed a lot, bitched a bit, and had a great conversation.
Got busy with some housework, cooked supper and the phone rang again. This time it was a good friend in Colorado and we talked for 2 1/2 hours. I had to cut the call short because Nurse Jackie was coming on, and I just love that show! lol This was the most powerful call of all, as we talk through some of our issues together. I learned a lot about myself during this conversation.
Watched Nurse Jackie--I am really glad I have Showtime, because I really enjoy that show! Oops, I said that. Sat down, visited with my son, then it was bedtime for him and here I sit.
When you put things out there through prayer, meditation, asking the universe -- however you choose, you get an answer: either yes or no. Today my answer was yes.
While I got virtually nothing that shows done today, it was a powerful day. Some people out there do love me. I have some fantastic people in my life. So what if we are separated by miles. I just felt so rich. I told my son that sometimes our plans get bumped because other good things need to come in. That's what happened today. I helped take away the loneliness of my aunt and uncle. My uncle sorely misses my dad. I think we reach out to each other to fill that void. I had some good giggles and vents with one friend. I had a fantastic therapy session with another--and she also had a fantastic therapy session with me.
Ding, ding, ding.
The only ones who didn't get their good day was the dogs. We had thunderstorms come in right as we were going to go on our walk. Our dogs hate thunder. I thought we'd attempt it anyway, and just as we were getting the leashes out, it started pouring. So no exercise for any of us today. Will have to make up for that tomorrow. Also have to catch up on blogs tomorrow.
To top off my great day, I had my old-fashioned diet plate for dinner: hamburger patty, cottage cheese and peaches. I had a salad, too. Oh my, it was as yummy as I remember. I thought of both mom and dad as I prepared that, and of meals past in the 70s. I bet they didn't have 95% fat-free ground beef back then! lol
The other night I voiced, meditated, prayed on loneliness. I have several very good friends--deeply good friends. I'm very fortunate. Sadly, none live anywhere near. The closest is three hours away. So I miss the face-to-face contact, and talk on the phone a lot.
Last night when we were at Subway, I ran into a gal that I really like. We were in Cub Scouts together, our sons got along really well, and we got together a few times. As it turns out, life got in the way for me and we lost contact. I just felt it was pretty amazing that we met out of the blue. We're planning on getting together to catch up.
Today, I woke up really late. I couldn't sleep last night as I was in deep thought about life in general. Once I got up, started coffee and blogs, the phone rang. Two and a half hours later, I hung up. It was my aunt and uncle calling. We had the most amazing conversation--powerful, funny, uplifting.
After that I spent some time with my poor neglected son (who was having a blast doing some game and playing with the dogs). I started to do my chores when the phone rang again. This time it was a good friend from the east coast. We chatted for a long while, laughed a lot, bitched a bit, and had a great conversation.
Got busy with some housework, cooked supper and the phone rang again. This time it was a good friend in Colorado and we talked for 2 1/2 hours. I had to cut the call short because Nurse Jackie was coming on, and I just love that show! lol This was the most powerful call of all, as we talk through some of our issues together. I learned a lot about myself during this conversation.
Watched Nurse Jackie--I am really glad I have Showtime, because I really enjoy that show! Oops, I said that. Sat down, visited with my son, then it was bedtime for him and here I sit.
When you put things out there through prayer, meditation, asking the universe -- however you choose, you get an answer: either yes or no. Today my answer was yes.
While I got virtually nothing that shows done today, it was a powerful day. Some people out there do love me. I have some fantastic people in my life. So what if we are separated by miles. I just felt so rich. I told my son that sometimes our plans get bumped because other good things need to come in. That's what happened today. I helped take away the loneliness of my aunt and uncle. My uncle sorely misses my dad. I think we reach out to each other to fill that void. I had some good giggles and vents with one friend. I had a fantastic therapy session with another--and she also had a fantastic therapy session with me.
Ding, ding, ding.
The only ones who didn't get their good day was the dogs. We had thunderstorms come in right as we were going to go on our walk. Our dogs hate thunder. I thought we'd attempt it anyway, and just as we were getting the leashes out, it started pouring. So no exercise for any of us today. Will have to make up for that tomorrow. Also have to catch up on blogs tomorrow.
To top off my great day, I had my old-fashioned diet plate for dinner: hamburger patty, cottage cheese and peaches. I had a salad, too. Oh my, it was as yummy as I remember. I thought of both mom and dad as I prepared that, and of meals past in the 70s. I bet they didn't have 95% fat-free ground beef back then! lol
7.14.2009
Great Day
We had a great day today. Lots of errands, Subway for supper, and a really good doctor visit.
I love my doctor's scale. It's lower than mine at home! lol My blood pressure was the best ever. I'm a little calmer about the ablation on Friday. She did an excellent job of putting me at ease. She also suggested I take a Xanax the night before (actually she told me to take 2) so I'd sleep. I almost said, "But you didn't write the prescription big enough for me to waste 2 on sleep! lol Which is true. I will probably take one.
We discussed anxiety a bit. She kept redirecting to questions about the procedure, and I kept redirecting to the anxiety. lol She told me that two Christian psychologists come to her office every other week and she would recommend them. Now that would have been nice after Dad's death, but she said she didn't know if they did cognitive behavioral therapy, which is what everything on the Internet and in books says works with anxiety. She also raised her eyebrow when I suggested hypnotherapy.
I think I'll make some inquiries on my own next week. I'm kind of stubborn, I want what I want. When I get my mind set on something, it's difficult to change it. Then again, I also know myself really well and I trust my gut. I also trust my research--and I do keep an open mind when I read up on things. I want someone who specializes in it, because it's just very serious business to me.
Kind of funny, the doctor never acknowledges or asks about my weight. Not once. She doesn't say good job or anything when I mention I've been doing Weight Watchers. She's heavier than I was when I started. They gynecologist I saw? He went all happy-crazy when I told him I had lost 30 pounds a few weeks back. I was going to ask if there was anything I could do about my average .9 per week loss that Weight Watchers tells me I have, but decided against it. It makes me wonder if she, herself, really struggles with her weight, especially with her education--knowing what she knows.
After Subway my son and I ran to Wal-mart. I found a cute pair of shorts on sale for $6. They were a size 18/20. When I held them up, I thought no way. I tried them on at home and they fit perfectly. Cool. I'm used to the 22/24 stuff. I still haven't cleaned out my closet, and I'm still lacking in the britches-that-fit department, so that was a nice, cheap addition.
My son and I got brave tonight and decided to walk all three doggies at the same time without my husband. I was afraid they wouldn't behave. Wow, was I surprised. My son took Apollo, who wants to herd cars when they pass, and I took the other two. We had a beautiful 38-minute walk! They all behaved wonderfully. So I think I've found my solution to the exercise/shower thing for now: Walking in the evenings. I get lost in my thoughts, as does my son, and it just seems to melt the stress away. I was really surprised at how sweaty I got. I did hop in the shower when I got home and put on my jammies. My legs were sore and I did take an Ibuprofen, plus I got a nasty blister because I wore my sandals and not my tennies. I'll wear appropriate footwear tomorrow. Good for me, good for my son, and good for the dogs. Win, win, win.
While I was in deep thought, it occurred to me that I am getting better. Not just with weight, blood work, but in my head. I'm feeling a bit stronger than I did last week. Just a little, but the foundation is starting, it's building. I want it so much, and when I want something, I get stubborn.
Yes, it was a great day.
I love my doctor's scale. It's lower than mine at home! lol My blood pressure was the best ever. I'm a little calmer about the ablation on Friday. She did an excellent job of putting me at ease. She also suggested I take a Xanax the night before (actually she told me to take 2) so I'd sleep. I almost said, "But you didn't write the prescription big enough for me to waste 2 on sleep! lol Which is true. I will probably take one.
We discussed anxiety a bit. She kept redirecting to questions about the procedure, and I kept redirecting to the anxiety. lol She told me that two Christian psychologists come to her office every other week and she would recommend them. Now that would have been nice after Dad's death, but she said she didn't know if they did cognitive behavioral therapy, which is what everything on the Internet and in books says works with anxiety. She also raised her eyebrow when I suggested hypnotherapy.
I think I'll make some inquiries on my own next week. I'm kind of stubborn, I want what I want. When I get my mind set on something, it's difficult to change it. Then again, I also know myself really well and I trust my gut. I also trust my research--and I do keep an open mind when I read up on things. I want someone who specializes in it, because it's just very serious business to me.
Kind of funny, the doctor never acknowledges or asks about my weight. Not once. She doesn't say good job or anything when I mention I've been doing Weight Watchers. She's heavier than I was when I started. They gynecologist I saw? He went all happy-crazy when I told him I had lost 30 pounds a few weeks back. I was going to ask if there was anything I could do about my average .9 per week loss that Weight Watchers tells me I have, but decided against it. It makes me wonder if she, herself, really struggles with her weight, especially with her education--knowing what she knows.
After Subway my son and I ran to Wal-mart. I found a cute pair of shorts on sale for $6. They were a size 18/20. When I held them up, I thought no way. I tried them on at home and they fit perfectly. Cool. I'm used to the 22/24 stuff. I still haven't cleaned out my closet, and I'm still lacking in the britches-that-fit department, so that was a nice, cheap addition.
My son and I got brave tonight and decided to walk all three doggies at the same time without my husband. I was afraid they wouldn't behave. Wow, was I surprised. My son took Apollo, who wants to herd cars when they pass, and I took the other two. We had a beautiful 38-minute walk! They all behaved wonderfully. So I think I've found my solution to the exercise/shower thing for now: Walking in the evenings. I get lost in my thoughts, as does my son, and it just seems to melt the stress away. I was really surprised at how sweaty I got. I did hop in the shower when I got home and put on my jammies. My legs were sore and I did take an Ibuprofen, plus I got a nasty blister because I wore my sandals and not my tennies. I'll wear appropriate footwear tomorrow. Good for me, good for my son, and good for the dogs. Win, win, win.
While I was in deep thought, it occurred to me that I am getting better. Not just with weight, blood work, but in my head. I'm feeling a bit stronger than I did last week. Just a little, but the foundation is starting, it's building. I want it so much, and when I want something, I get stubborn.
Yes, it was a great day.
7.13.2009
Monday Morning Weigh-In
247.5
-.5
I earned another 5-pound star today. Total loss: 35 pounds.
Another one of the itty-bitty losses. At first they were infuriating, then the just ticked me off, and now I still find it a bit frustrating, yet it's the right direction. In the big picture, it all adds up. So I'll happily accept it. (And hope next week will bring a much bigger loss! lol)
-.5
I earned another 5-pound star today. Total loss: 35 pounds.
Another one of the itty-bitty losses. At first they were infuriating, then the just ticked me off, and now I still find it a bit frustrating, yet it's the right direction. In the big picture, it all adds up. So I'll happily accept it. (And hope next week will bring a much bigger loss! lol)
7.12.2009
Menu Planning Week 22
Week 22 Menu
I buy ingredients for all items, but we pick what we want each night.
1) Spaghetti, sauce with veggies blended in & TVP, bread, salad
2) Leftover Spaghetti, etc. (I'm still not used to cooking less and we always have leftovers! This time I'm planning for it.)
3) Chicken, brown rice, salad
4) Burgers, cottage cheese, peaches--just for fun. My parents did this diet in the 70s and I learned to love that combo.
5) Tuna salad subs, tomato soup, salad
6) Mexican night (refried beans, ground beef crumbles, etc.)
7) Sweet and sour chicken, brown rice, vegetable
Lunches: Focusing on salads and fruit more (well, I'm going to try to) and tuna salad this week.
Breakfast: Bran flakes and Fiber One
Snacks: Fruit, air-popped popcorn, breakfast cookie
We made the switch to brown rice. The flavor is fine, but it is so dry! I need help cooking it because we don't want to switch back to white rice.
Surgery Night: ?? Wondering what I'll want to eat. Worried about food that day as I should get out by noon, and we'll have an hour drive home. I may be starved from fasting or I may just be tired. I'm thinking bland stuff, but kind of clueless. Ideas?
I buy ingredients for all items, but we pick what we want each night.
1) Spaghetti, sauce with veggies blended in & TVP, bread, salad
2) Leftover Spaghetti, etc. (I'm still not used to cooking less and we always have leftovers! This time I'm planning for it.)
3) Chicken, brown rice, salad
4) Burgers, cottage cheese, peaches--just for fun. My parents did this diet in the 70s and I learned to love that combo.
5) Tuna salad subs, tomato soup, salad
6) Mexican night (refried beans, ground beef crumbles, etc.)
7) Sweet and sour chicken, brown rice, vegetable
Lunches: Focusing on salads and fruit more (well, I'm going to try to) and tuna salad this week.
Breakfast: Bran flakes and Fiber One
Snacks: Fruit, air-popped popcorn, breakfast cookie
We made the switch to brown rice. The flavor is fine, but it is so dry! I need help cooking it because we don't want to switch back to white rice.
Surgery Night: ?? Wondering what I'll want to eat. Worried about food that day as I should get out by noon, and we'll have an hour drive home. I may be starved from fasting or I may just be tired. I'm thinking bland stuff, but kind of clueless. Ideas?
Dog Tired
The "big" boys.
Pip. He's at that leggy age.
Pip is half brother to each of the big boys. He shares the same mom as Tesla, the paint, and the same dad as Apollo, the tri.
This is my baby, Pip. He's our third border collie, intended to be mine, all mine. Of course he loves everyone, but he is my boy. He's seven months old now! Where does time go? This little guy came to us in February and it was the pictures taken of us together on arrivial day that awoke me to start this journey. I give him all the credit for my success.
Today I gave the little guy a run for his money. We went to the lake this morning and played and played. We walked knee-deep in the water for 20 minutes. Then we played fetch, with me throwing the dummy. The whole family went, and we each had a dog. He's learning to swim like his big brothers. A nice family sat on the bench directly behind us and watched us. Normally that would bother me, but they had a young son that was just so happy and grinning ear to ear. I kept hearing him say look at that doggie! Look at the other doggie. lol
We got home, changed, dried off and the dogs rested. Then hubby took them out and played fetch in the back yard. They do that a couple times a day--the boys love it. Hubby also took all three for a long morning walk, one at a time.
Tonight I hadn't formally exercised. So I leashed Pip up and off we went. We went to one of the oldest neighborhoods in our town and walked. I enjoyed daydreaming of days gone by while looking at all the old houses. Pip was a little angel and walked perfectly. We walked for 33 minutes. It was a perfect evening.
When we got home, Pip got his water and plopped on the floor. He is dog tired.
I got out of the house three times today: to lake, to Wal-Mart and then for the walk. It's good for me to get out of the house. In fact, I was feeling an anxiety attack coming up before I took the walk, which was the main reason I went. Gone, I walked through it. Yay.
I love my dogs.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)