Insomnia

Tonight it hit. I toss and turned for an hour and a half and finally got up. I popped a pill...Ambien will soon kick in. My doctor told me to go to bed immediately as they hit fast. Nope, it takes about 45 minutes for it to kick in with me.

My mind races when I go to bed. I think of so many things. I have great blog posts forming in my mind--all to be lost by the next day. lol Perhaps that's like being drunk and having a good idea only to realize it was pretty stupid when one sobers up? lol

On this journey to health I'm on, sleep is a big issue. I am a night owl by nature. When I was a baby, I had my days and nights mixed up and was pure hell on my mother. I made up for it later in life, we were very close. I used to go to bed every night at 10 and get up at 6. Now I go to bed at midnight, or close there to, and get up when I wake up. I have given up on setting an alarm because I sleep through it.

I should go have a sleep apnea study done. Honestly, the reason I haven't is I don't want people watching me sleep. What if I scratch something in my sleep? What if I expose myself? What if I fart? My husband sleeps on the couch half the time due to my snoring. (His is worse, imho.) Those all seem pretty stupid, but they are honest concerns of mine. That plus drooling, contorted face, talking in my sleep...I just don't want to do it. Besides, my husband has never heard me stop breathing in the night.

I sure never feel rested, though. The Ambien has always worked well, but now I'm feeling sluggish the next day -- kind of drugged. I don't take it very often at all.

I have a sleep hypnosis CD which helps if I can shut my mind off. The problem with that is you are supposed to wear headphones when listening to it. I do that, but then I sleep on the stupid cord and have a line running across my face. Sometimes I get the giggles over one little part of it that makes no sense. That wakes me up and takes any relaxation away.

Sometimes a bedtime snack helps. In the old days, that snack would be huge. I have three exercise points I could use. I'm not really hungry, though. I also haven't used any of my flex points. So I could have a glass of milk and a 1-point English muffin, or something light. I think I'll just wait for the pill to kick.

I hate this. I want to be a morning bird. I guess it wouldn't really matter if I were only a housewife. The thing is, I'm a homeschooling mom. I'm not a typical homeschool mom, I don't own a denim jumper. I don't go to church, but I call myself a Christian because I am. We don't homeschool for religious reasons. I have friends of all faiths and friends with no faith. I don't care as long as they're good people. Anyway, we have to start school at a decent hour.

I don't understand why when I worked, I could sleep at 10 and get up at 6. Now I can't. Is it lack of self-discipline? Is it fat related? Is that saying fat people are lazy true? HA! I don't think so, I'm anything but lazy.

Anyway, I know that a good regular sleep routine would do much for my health. It would help matters if I could get by on fewer hours, but I can't. I'm a grouchy tired person.

I'm hoping time will help this issue.