Panic Attack This Afternoon

Tomorrow I leave on my Mom's vacation. Just me. Today, when I brought my suitcase up to pack, I started having that uneasy feeling. I got active, because sometimes when I move my body more, it helps thwart a panic attack.

Today that didn't work.

Pretty soon I was feeling light headed, my stomach was on fire with that rush you get when something bad has happened or is about to happen. My entire body was tense, every single muscle. The worst, though, is the weird sensation I have in my head. It's like I'm going to fall, but it's a feeling that I am going to fall sideways. It's very strange. It's like I am walking on the walls rather than the floors.

I quickly checked my food journal to see what all I had eaten. I was okay, it shouldn't be low blood sugar. While my doctor has never told me this, another doctor I saw in his absence did: that I am pre-diabetic. Another doctor I saw in his absence years ago told me I had hypoglycemia, which is a precursor to diabetes. I have had bouts with hypoglycemia all my life. When I studied panic attacks, I read several places that they can be brought on by low blood sugar.

Even though I was okay, I had a hand full of baby carrots. Natural sugar. Before starting Weight Watchers again, I would have reached for chocolate, some sugary snack that would have given me an instant sugar rush. This time I chose a natural sugar.

That didn't help.

So I took a Xanax. That's why the doctor gave them to me. I practiced my deep breathing, then got busy moving again. My breathing is back to normal, the eerie feeling in my stomach is gone and I feel like I'm walking straight again. The Xanax nipped it in the bud. The bad thing is that in a half hour or so, I'll probably be asleep. I have things to do, dinner to cook, and packing to get finished.

My blog is a health journal. While this isn't diet related, I just felt the need to share it because sometimes I will go back and re-read things. It's nice to keep a tab on the panic attacks. I'm down to one or two a month, usually related to my cycle. This was not.

Tomorrow I'm doing something scary. I'm excited to get away, but being alone or out of my normal routine is what caused it. It's stupid, it's maddening. I used to be much more adventurous.

Tonight I have to go to the grocery store. I decided instead of relying on Subway, I'll take my own sandwich material. I'm out of breakfast cereal, so I'll get some. I eat 28 grams of Kellogs Complete and 28 ounces of Fiber One every morning for breakfast. I'll prepackage them in a Gladware, sprinkled with Splenda, and it will be ready for milk. I will also take some healthy snacks: apples, bananas and I'll look for some microwave popcorn tonight.

I hate this. I hate when this happens. This is supposed to be a good thing, and then I get slapped in the face with a panic attack. UGH

Better today than when I'm driving. I have had two when driving and I have to pull over, take a half a Xanax (a whole Xanax makes me sleepy) and wait a bit until it kicks in. My doctor assured me it's perfectly legal to drive with Xanax, the only concern is that it makes one sleepy. Half a pill works great.

I think I'll take a short break and maybe watch TV for an hour and then continue on.

UGH