The Day After

I feel like a little drama queen. I apologize for that, as I'm not a drama queen in real life. I just feel free to share my struggles and triumphs here. My blog is my safe haven. Yesterday was a struggle. This is the story of my journey, and my panic attack was a very real part of my journey.

I ended up getting my target points. Hubby made me a 3-egg omelet with two slices of 2% cheese for supper. That was a big omelet, but I think I needed the dose of protein. Veggies were sorely lacking yesterday.

This morning I feel like I have a hang over. I ended up taking a Xanax after all, as I kept finding my shoulders next to my ears. My body was tense. I'm feeling it today.

It's been a slow morning, my son is working on school, and I have done nothing. That's okay. After hubby leaves from lunch, I will pop in a tape and loosen up my body. I will do Sweatin' to the Oldies 1 as I know it, and I will take it easy, not pushing too hard.

I did not exercise yesterday. I was going to last night, but after I took the Xanax, I got loopy. I decided that my body needed rest. I am a bit disappointed because I had exercised 10 days in a row and enjoyed having a streak. BUT it was more important that I take care of myself, and that meant to relax. I know exercise would have helped with that, but you don't exercise when you're loopy. I feel I made the right choice.

I had the strangest dreams last night. Therapeutic dreams. I woke up after I told my brother off. I faced him in my dreams, told him he was passive aggressive and cruel. I told him how much he had hurt me in the past. I told him that unless and until he could treat me with respect, that he could not be a part of my life. That was weird to wake up after that. I think I still have some issues to resolve. The funny thing is, he wants no part of me or my life and hasn't since my mom died 16 years ago. That's okay, it's his loss. Amazingly, that dream made me feel better--it was empowering.

I do not have to leave the house today and for that I am very thankful. Today is a day of restoration for me, a day of calm, and a day to recuperate. I will train the dogs this afternoon, which is fun. We'll finish up school. I'll get my exercise in. Then I plan on just relaxing. Dinner is crockpot cheeseburgers again. That was a big hit.

So I survived. I'm just not liking these panic issues, but I'll figure it out soon, hopefully!