Terrible Day

This was probably the worst day I've had in a year and a half. Awful, just awful. My son's procedure did not happen, he was referred to someone new, so we have to go through all that anticipation/stress again. And the new procedure will be much more traumatic and invasive.

Sometimes we have good days, sometimes we have bad days, and sometimes we just want to go to bed and pull the covers over our head. I pulled the covers over my head for an hour this afternoon, along with taking a Xanax. I just took a second Xanax about a half hour ago.

When it's good, it's really, really good. When it's bad, it stinks.

Now this is not said to be whiny, looking for sympathy or being a diva or baby. It just is. And I do go back over this blog as I use it as my memory at times. I don't think I'll forget today anytime soon, but at least I've written about it.

To polish off my crappy day, I've decided to be grateful for some things:

My son. I could not have asked for a more wonderful, loving, intelligent, caring kid. He's good to the core, and I'm so proud of him.

My husband. We actually had a little, um, disagreement today, but I still love him. I'm grateful we resolved it.

My dogs. Always love us, never show judgment, and always bring a smile to my face.

I'm grateful that we had a safe trip home and back from the big city.

I'm grateful that we have a fantastic orthodontist.

I'm grateful it did not rain today.

I'm grateful I'm alive, getting healthy, and didn't even have the desire to overeat during my day of hell.

I'm grateful that I'm strong. I was able to hold myself together until I got home, at which point I took a full Xanax. I don't find it weak that I took one, I am proud that I held it together today. I'm making progress.

I'm grateful tomorrow is Friday and we'll be able to have a full school day. I don't have to go anywhere, I can just stay home and relax.

I'm grateful we homeschool, because I'm declaring tomorrow a pajama day!

I'm grateful that there is still half a cake left! In the olden days, it would have been gone the next day. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, only half was consumed. We're all eating healthier, I think that's proof!

I'm grateful to God.

See, I can see the light through the darkness. Bad days happen, and that's just a part of life. How we deal with them is what matters. No one ever said life would be easy, and it's not. Yet changing our perceptions, accepting there will be bad days instead of being devastated by them and eating myself to oblivion works wonders.

I rock. =)