I just wrote a long post awhile ago and it has disappeared. I think I'm the guilty culprit and didn't hit publish, left my desk, came back and clicked on something...sigh.
MizFit, thank you, ma'am, for snapping me out of my scale zone. Yes, indeed, June is the month for healing. That is a great thing. I tend to get hyper-focused on the scale when I'm thinking about it.
I had a really rough day. Stress was very high. Yesterday was, too. Has to do with what I feel is substandard health care (not mine!) and it's frustrating to me. The worst thing is there's really nothing you can do. I may post on this at a later time, I'm too angry right now.
Tried to have Calgon take me away. It worked the whole time I was in the tub, but as soon as I got out, everything came back. I wish I could shut that video off -- my mind just goes and goes. Any relaxation techniques I try work in the moment, but then all the garbage comes back. Yuck.
I just took a Xanax. I have tried very hard not to take any, and I've done a good job. Last night I was up until almost 5am replaying the awful day in my mind over and over. Then I got up at 9, said hello to my son, laid down on the couch and woke up at 12. Not cool. Tonight I decided to use the medication that was given to me when I'm anxious (and I have been shaking a bit--not quite a panic attack, but definitely anxiety.) So I'm trying to relax. I need a good night's sleep.
Worked out this afternoon and halfway through the workout, the pain really kicked in. I shut the DVD off, did a cool down and stretch on my own and called it done. Not to happy, but the pain was pretty high for about two hours after that. I showered, laid down and fell asleep. Bless hubby's heart, I woke up to dinner being served.
So pretty much a crappy day. Tomorrow will be better.
No babe..Not a crappy day..You did a workout..That is a HUGE accomplishement. Jo..Relax..Don't be so hard on yourself. Love yourself a little more. Your body needs rest. It's preparing too..You have inches that will change still. You have tissues that will change still. You have thoughts that will change from the beginning of this month to the end of this month. What you thought applied may not apply..
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you to find peace my friend.
You have been having a hard time. I'm sorry :( It won't last. The sun WILL shine again.
ReplyDeleteYour perseverance to keep on going and working out is amazing...in the face of all this crap, you just keep on doing the best you can.
ReplyDeleteTHAT is huge...I hope things turn around for you soon and all of this will be a distant memory.
((hugs))
Debbie
Hoping that tomorrow will be a better day!!
ReplyDeleteTomorrow will be the BOMB! Thank goodness for better living through chemistry!
ReplyDeleteHang in there Kid! I'm rooting for ya!
Sending positive thoughts out to you!! Hoping for better days ahead.
ReplyDeleteYou know you got through it without destructive behaviours. You tried some relaxation, you slept, you got through the day. Perhaps you can think back to a time in your life when you would have resorted to dulling the stress with over-eating or other things that were counter-productive. Along the way you are becoming more resilient, congratulations!
ReplyDeleteLove Julie