This was probably the worst day I've had in a year and a half. Awful, just awful. My son's procedure did not happen, he was referred to someone new, so we have to go through all that anticipation/stress again. And the new procedure will be much more traumatic and invasive.
Sometimes we have good days, sometimes we have bad days, and sometimes we just want to go to bed and pull the covers over our head. I pulled the covers over my head for an hour this afternoon, along with taking a Xanax. I just took a second Xanax about a half hour ago.
When it's good, it's really, really good. When it's bad, it stinks.
Now this is not said to be whiny, looking for sympathy or being a diva or baby. It just is. And I do go back over this blog as I use it as my memory at times. I don't think I'll forget today anytime soon, but at least I've written about it.
To polish off my crappy day, I've decided to be grateful for some things:
My son. I could not have asked for a more wonderful, loving, intelligent, caring kid. He's good to the core, and I'm so proud of him.
My husband. We actually had a little, um, disagreement today, but I still love him. I'm grateful we resolved it.
My dogs. Always love us, never show judgment, and always bring a smile to my face.
I'm grateful that we had a safe trip home and back from the big city.
I'm grateful that we have a fantastic orthodontist.
I'm grateful it did not rain today.
I'm grateful I'm alive, getting healthy, and didn't even have the desire to overeat during my day of hell.
I'm grateful that I'm strong. I was able to hold myself together until I got home, at which point I took a full Xanax. I don't find it weak that I took one, I am proud that I held it together today. I'm making progress.
I'm grateful tomorrow is Friday and we'll be able to have a full school day. I don't have to go anywhere, I can just stay home and relax.
I'm grateful we homeschool, because I'm declaring tomorrow a pajama day!
I'm grateful that there is still half a cake left! In the olden days, it would have been gone the next day. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, only half was consumed. We're all eating healthier, I think that's proof!
I'm grateful to God.
See, I can see the light through the darkness. Bad days happen, and that's just a part of life. How we deal with them is what matters. No one ever said life would be easy, and it's not. Yet changing our perceptions, accepting there will be bad days instead of being devastated by them and eating myself to oblivion works wonders.
I rock. =)
10.22.2009
10.21.2009
FitBit
Move over BodyBugg and GoWearFit, there's a new product coming out. It's called FitBit. $99 for the bit, the software and base station. I haven't been able to figure out if you have to pay a monthly fee or not.
The good: This thing is small. You can wear it on your waist, in your pocket or your undies. It also has a wristband. When you walk by the base station, your data is automatically uploaded.
The bad: I don't know if this is bad. People have pre-ordered this thing a long time ago, and it's slow getting out. They're working on some bugs, but it is set to ship out for the pre-orders October 31st.
This looks like a fantastic alternative to the BodyBugg. I am just hoping you don't have to pay a monthly subscription fee.
Just thought I'd share the info.
Good thing hubby came home for lunch, as I sat down with him and my computer and just stumbled upon this!
This is something I am very interested in. I may wait a bit and let others be the test guinea pigs, but it is on my wish list!
Now, back to the couch.
The good: This thing is small. You can wear it on your waist, in your pocket or your undies. It also has a wristband. When you walk by the base station, your data is automatically uploaded.
The bad: I don't know if this is bad. People have pre-ordered this thing a long time ago, and it's slow getting out. They're working on some bugs, but it is set to ship out for the pre-orders October 31st.
This looks like a fantastic alternative to the BodyBugg. I am just hoping you don't have to pay a monthly subscription fee.
Just thought I'd share the info.
Good thing hubby came home for lunch, as I sat down with him and my computer and just stumbled upon this!
This is something I am very interested in. I may wait a bit and let others be the test guinea pigs, but it is on my wish list!
Now, back to the couch.
Sick Day
Both my son and I are having a sick day. Both our tummies are grumbling and very upset. I haven't got half my morning chores done and he hasn't cracked open a book. I started feeling awful last night, and I thought it was from the sugar in the piece of cake I had. Now I'm wondering if it's just a bug. Anxious for hubby to come home to see how he's feeling--hopefully good. I woke up so many times during the night feeling gross, and usually once I fall asleep, I stay asleep.
Tomorrow is surgery, so a missed school day. Monday was missed due to getting the braces out of town. Now today. UGH. We're still ahead of my schedule, though, so doing well. I make room for "life happens" stuff in the schedule, thankfully.
I have not worked out in three days. I simply MUST work out today. I'm planning on a little nap, and hopefully I'll feel better and well enough to do something. I'm not liking my lack of exercise this week. No excuses, I just didn't do it. Tired, busy, blah--I made the choice and yes, I'm regretting it.
Time for a short nap.
Tomorrow is surgery, so a missed school day. Monday was missed due to getting the braces out of town. Now today. UGH. We're still ahead of my schedule, though, so doing well. I make room for "life happens" stuff in the schedule, thankfully.
I have not worked out in three days. I simply MUST work out today. I'm planning on a little nap, and hopefully I'll feel better and well enough to do something. I'm not liking my lack of exercise this week. No excuses, I just didn't do it. Tired, busy, blah--I made the choice and yes, I'm regretting it.
Time for a short nap.
10.20.2009
The Big 5-0
So today was hubby's 50th birthday. Why does that make me feel old? He celebrated by putting in overtime at work. Tomorrow he's taking in five dozen donuts. He would have done it today but something was going on and so there were donuts there. A fellow co-worker shares his birthday, so there will be donuts the day following. Can you imagine having to face donuts three days in a row at your place of employment? Oy.
We went out to supper at hub's favorite restaurant in town. It's about the only sit-down-and-be-served restaurant here, so thankfully it's good. Then we came home and had cake. I did have a small piece.
He got a Vikings sweatshirt--his favorite team long before we moved to Minnesota. And he's also getting some free-weight thing-a-ma-bobs, a bench and some kind of bar that attaches that had to be ordered. (Lucky me, I'll get to use it too.)
Quite uneventful, in the scheme of things. Just the way he likes it.
My husband is a great guy. He's far from perfect, same as his wife. He has a wonderful life attitude, though. To put things the way he would word them, "Just keep on going, no matter what shit life throws at you." And he does. He's pretty content.
We don't have a perfect marriage. Sometimes he annoys me beyond measure, as I annoy him. I get so mad at him at times, as he does with me. That's life, though. He's my rock. He grounds me. We are complete opposites from politics to--well, everything. Yet, we're a perfect match.
He's a good man. May he have many more "uneventful" birthdays, and a lifetime of wonderful.
We went out to supper at hub's favorite restaurant in town. It's about the only sit-down-and-be-served restaurant here, so thankfully it's good. Then we came home and had cake. I did have a small piece.
He got a Vikings sweatshirt--his favorite team long before we moved to Minnesota. And he's also getting some free-weight thing-a-ma-bobs, a bench and some kind of bar that attaches that had to be ordered. (Lucky me, I'll get to use it too.)
Quite uneventful, in the scheme of things. Just the way he likes it.
My husband is a great guy. He's far from perfect, same as his wife. He has a wonderful life attitude, though. To put things the way he would word them, "Just keep on going, no matter what shit life throws at you." And he does. He's pretty content.
We don't have a perfect marriage. Sometimes he annoys me beyond measure, as I annoy him. I get so mad at him at times, as he does with me. That's life, though. He's my rock. He grounds me. We are complete opposites from politics to--well, everything. Yet, we're a perfect match.
He's a good man. May he have many more "uneventful" birthdays, and a lifetime of wonderful.
Happy Birthday, Ang!
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Dear Ang
Happy Birthday to you!
Ang
I hope you didn't want to keep this a secret, but I just felt like we needed to celebrate you today!
May all your dreams and goals come true! =)
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Dear Ang
Happy Birthday to you!
Ang
I hope you didn't want to keep this a secret, but I just felt like we needed to celebrate you today!
May all your dreams and goals come true! =)
Monday Morning Weigh In
Yes, I know it's Tuesday. I'm a day late and a dollar short.
I remained the same.
No loss, no gain.
~~~
So I've been using Calorie King for the past 5 days. I did eat back my exercise calories. Obviously that isn't going to work for losing. No regrets trying it at all.
I did discover a few things using Calorie King.
1) My choice of Fiber One Cottage Cheese works wonderfully for Weight Watchers. 1 point for 1 serving of cottage cheese. After close inspection, though, it has about six grams less protein than regular low-fat cottage cheese. Will be switching, as protein is more important than fiber to me--I eat a very high fiber diet.
2) My protein was short every single day--not by much, but enough to make me want to up intake. My fiber was always over.
3) I think this is much easier to use than WW Online. It's faster. I like not having to be online to use it. I loved when I typed in Olive Garden that info actually popped up. And the info they use was right on target with what I was counting for points. Who knows what the truth is with Olive Garden, though.
4) I kind of liked the change of pace. The trouble is, I think in terms of points and not calories. So I don't know if I could make a permanent switch to calorie counting. It's easier to do small math than big math in my head. ;-)
For $40, a one-time download, I think the Calorie King is a bargain. Compared to WW Online, that is. Yet I love my Weight Watchers.
I'm going to go back to the old way of things. I love trying new things and have never been afraid to do stuff like that. Me, the one full of fear, actually loves to experiment. No regrets taking a week to do what I did--or five days.
I just have to accept that I'm a slow loser. My age, my body, my exercise and perhaps my stress all add up to slower losses. That's okay, because I'm losing. It's not really a race. Yes, I want the weight off fast to improve my health. Yet I'd rather it come off in a healthful manner, which I think is what is happening.
220s, here I come. Next week, or the week after. lol
I remained the same.
No loss, no gain.
~~~
So I've been using Calorie King for the past 5 days. I did eat back my exercise calories. Obviously that isn't going to work for losing. No regrets trying it at all.
I did discover a few things using Calorie King.
1) My choice of Fiber One Cottage Cheese works wonderfully for Weight Watchers. 1 point for 1 serving of cottage cheese. After close inspection, though, it has about six grams less protein than regular low-fat cottage cheese. Will be switching, as protein is more important than fiber to me--I eat a very high fiber diet.
2) My protein was short every single day--not by much, but enough to make me want to up intake. My fiber was always over.
3) I think this is much easier to use than WW Online. It's faster. I like not having to be online to use it. I loved when I typed in Olive Garden that info actually popped up. And the info they use was right on target with what I was counting for points. Who knows what the truth is with Olive Garden, though.
4) I kind of liked the change of pace. The trouble is, I think in terms of points and not calories. So I don't know if I could make a permanent switch to calorie counting. It's easier to do small math than big math in my head. ;-)
For $40, a one-time download, I think the Calorie King is a bargain. Compared to WW Online, that is. Yet I love my Weight Watchers.
I'm going to go back to the old way of things. I love trying new things and have never been afraid to do stuff like that. Me, the one full of fear, actually loves to experiment. No regrets taking a week to do what I did--or five days.
I just have to accept that I'm a slow loser. My age, my body, my exercise and perhaps my stress all add up to slower losses. That's okay, because I'm losing. It's not really a race. Yes, I want the weight off fast to improve my health. Yet I'd rather it come off in a healthful manner, which I think is what is happening.
220s, here I come. Next week, or the week after. lol
10.19.2009
Whew!
We survived the day.
Last night had me a bit worried. My son had a rough night, was worried sick. I woke my husband up so he could comfort my son. Hubby was glad I did. It was rough. I slipped away to the kitchen and actually cried. Oh, why does life have to be so hard for this wonderful kid?
Today? Went great. When he was finished, he had a skip to his step, came out with a huge grin on his face. He has green braces! He's SO cute in braces! The orthodontist called tonight and said that he was so pleased with how he did, and -- get this -- that he handled it better than the average patient. If you could have seen his last appointment with the spacers, you wouldn't believe that. In fact, the doctor did say that he was a totally different kid.
Gee, all it took was for us to let him let his frustrations out, talk about it all week, let him fume, cry and be scared. Boost, boost, boost him up. It was an exhausting week emotionally.
Today was the easy part, we still have the surgery later in the week. Ugh. That's what he's really scared about--and I don't blame him. It scares me, too.
His mouth is very sore tonight, and the Doc told me on the phone tonight that he'd be sore all day tomorrow and to give him Motrin every four hours. Will do.
When we walked out of that office and my son was happy and had a smile on his face, the several steps I took to the car felt as if I was losing pounds of stress. Each step I felt a little lighter. By the time I got to the car, I realized my shoulders were not touching my ears, and I felt as if I'd lost 30 pounds.
We then went out to the Olive Garden at son's request. First meal with braces! He did fine and brushed his teeth after he ate. By this time it was about 4 and we decided to hit Target and then come home.
WHEW!!!
I ate three breadsticks. Ahem. Yes, I've journaled it. Yes, I'll be eating salad for supper. Yes, I regret it. They sure were good, though. I felt really too full when we left, though. That wasn't too cool.
Tomorrow is my husband's 50th birthday. I completely forgot about it this weekend! So we'll have to bake a cake during school, then go to supper. Thankfully he loves the only Mexican restaurant in town, and I can eat pretty light there. I bought a cake mix, and it's for a type I don't like. Smart of me, huh! I don't like icing at all, so the cake will be no temptation for me at all.
Even though I feel so much better, I'm still in my perpetual state of overwhelm. I'm sitting here a bit frozen. My son is playing a game, hubby is online, and I'm zoning. Need a good night's sleep so I can snap out of it and have a good day tomorrow.
And the one word that keeps going through my mind is WHEW!
Last night had me a bit worried. My son had a rough night, was worried sick. I woke my husband up so he could comfort my son. Hubby was glad I did. It was rough. I slipped away to the kitchen and actually cried. Oh, why does life have to be so hard for this wonderful kid?
Today? Went great. When he was finished, he had a skip to his step, came out with a huge grin on his face. He has green braces! He's SO cute in braces! The orthodontist called tonight and said that he was so pleased with how he did, and -- get this -- that he handled it better than the average patient. If you could have seen his last appointment with the spacers, you wouldn't believe that. In fact, the doctor did say that he was a totally different kid.
Gee, all it took was for us to let him let his frustrations out, talk about it all week, let him fume, cry and be scared. Boost, boost, boost him up. It was an exhausting week emotionally.
Today was the easy part, we still have the surgery later in the week. Ugh. That's what he's really scared about--and I don't blame him. It scares me, too.
His mouth is very sore tonight, and the Doc told me on the phone tonight that he'd be sore all day tomorrow and to give him Motrin every four hours. Will do.
When we walked out of that office and my son was happy and had a smile on his face, the several steps I took to the car felt as if I was losing pounds of stress. Each step I felt a little lighter. By the time I got to the car, I realized my shoulders were not touching my ears, and I felt as if I'd lost 30 pounds.
We then went out to the Olive Garden at son's request. First meal with braces! He did fine and brushed his teeth after he ate. By this time it was about 4 and we decided to hit Target and then come home.
WHEW!!!
I ate three breadsticks. Ahem. Yes, I've journaled it. Yes, I'll be eating salad for supper. Yes, I regret it. They sure were good, though. I felt really too full when we left, though. That wasn't too cool.
Tomorrow is my husband's 50th birthday. I completely forgot about it this weekend! So we'll have to bake a cake during school, then go to supper. Thankfully he loves the only Mexican restaurant in town, and I can eat pretty light there. I bought a cake mix, and it's for a type I don't like. Smart of me, huh! I don't like icing at all, so the cake will be no temptation for me at all.
Even though I feel so much better, I'm still in my perpetual state of overwhelm. I'm sitting here a bit frozen. My son is playing a game, hubby is online, and I'm zoning. Need a good night's sleep so I can snap out of it and have a good day tomorrow.
And the one word that keeps going through my mind is WHEW!
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