Literally.
I need new undies. I haven't bought new undies yet. I'm still wearing the same undies I wore at 282.5. Good grief! When I put my pants on, they extend way up and beyond the top of my pants. They bunch up.
Why? Why haven't I bought new undies?
Because I have no idea what size to buy!
Isn't that stupid? If I get too small, I will always shrink into them. So I think I'm going to go a couple sizes down and see. If they're too small, then I'll buy the next biggest size up.
I have worried more about the clothes that show, but it's getting to the point that the undies show through my shirts. lol
Had a great day today. I did Tracie Long's new Step Forward workout today. It was a Christmas present, but I did it anyway. It has a glitch in it where 3 minutes are running the wrong sound track and so I watched intently and then did basic step when I got lost. They're going to send out new DVDs when they get it fixed.
School went well.
The only thing that didn't go so well today was my hunger. I could have eaten the wall paper off the walls, if we had wall paper. At lunch, I decided I needed to change things up and not eat what I normally eat. Big mistake. What I normally eat fills me and keeps me content. An hour after lunch (which was an egg sandwich, carrots and a V8), I had a serving of cottage cheese, carrots and another V8. That didn't satisfy me. Then I had a breakfast cookie, and that did the trick. I think tomorrow I'll go back to my normal lunch.
I hope to hit Wally World tomorrow to finish up my shopping--still need to fill those stockings. I'll pick up some new undies while I'm there. No more droopy butt for me!
12.17.2009
12.16.2009
Bad Girl
I am bad.I did not work out today. I have absolutely no excuse other than I felt draggy or toxic all day. Plus my routine is a bit out of whack with hubby home. But that's no excuse, I just didn't do it.
BAD ME!!!
lol...That said after getting so sad after trying to catch up on blogs and seeing so many people being SO hard on themselves. Lighten up, people! Be happy. We're human and subject to err.
And speaking of that, I'll restate: I had an unexpected welcomed day of rest today.
See, a positive spin can do wonders.
I'm under my calories by 200 tonight and I'm not hungry. I think I'll just go to bed and hope it doesn't hurt my metabolism or goals.
Nothing too exciting, so I think I'll get to bed. A good night's sleep will do wonders for me!
BAD ME!!!
lol...That said after getting so sad after trying to catch up on blogs and seeing so many people being SO hard on themselves. Lighten up, people! Be happy. We're human and subject to err.
And speaking of that, I'll restate: I had an unexpected welcomed day of rest today.
See, a positive spin can do wonders.
I'm under my calories by 200 tonight and I'm not hungry. I think I'll just go to bed and hope it doesn't hurt my metabolism or goals.
Nothing too exciting, so I think I'll get to bed. A good night's sleep will do wonders for me!
Be Happy
One of my favorite bloggers, whom I've followed since the beginning of her journey, has made goal. Who doesn't know Fat[Free}Me? I think everyone knows her, as she is such an inspiration and such an amazing supporter. I am so happy for her! Yes, I got teary eyed when I read that magic word on her blog: GOAL.
Way to go!!!
~~~
I just read that Jack LaLane is recovering from heart surgery. He had a valve replacement done. I knew he was old, but I had no idea he was 95! Wow. My husband and I were discussing him, and he never watched the Jack LaLane Show. I watched it when I was a kid, and described his one-piece uniform. I went to YouTube and found a clip for us to watch. I found a great clip, and I'm going to share it here. His message is as valid when he made it as it is today. What an amazing man. I hope he has a speedy recovery.
Way to go!!!
~~~
I just read that Jack LaLane is recovering from heart surgery. He had a valve replacement done. I knew he was old, but I had no idea he was 95! Wow. My husband and I were discussing him, and he never watched the Jack LaLane Show. I watched it when I was a kid, and described his one-piece uniform. I went to YouTube and found a clip for us to watch. I found a great clip, and I'm going to share it here. His message is as valid when he made it as it is today. What an amazing man. I hope he has a speedy recovery.
Early-Morning Ramblings
Today I did two workouts, Cathe's Basic Step and The Firm's Tough Tape. I burned almost 500 calories. I was wiped, yet pumped at the same time. The first tape is only 29 minutes, the second is 45 so it's nothing crazy. It was a weight day for me, but I wanted to add some cardio.
I am having a lot of "fun" with Cathe' Basic Step. I am bound and determined to learn it. She does it with ease, such grace and I fumble, get exhausted, and am lacking grace. I plan to continue until I can get it down, as I think Santa is bringing me Cathe's Classics #1, which is three of her older step tapes. Her current cardio is very high impact and I have no desire to do it, but the older stuff is doable.
So I finished Cathe's workout today and I told my son my calorie burn. We were talking about Cathe, The Firm and Jari Love and I told him today I did a beginner tape. He was shocked and laughed a bit that I was doing a beginner tape and soaked with sweat. He's watched it for a few minutes and it really does look easy--but it's not. (For me, that is.)
That made me laugh. Yes, I am doing a beginner tape and not doing it well, but by golly, I'm bound and determined. I'll get there. I think that was a good lesson for him.
I've really been trying to catch up with blog reading. I'm making some gains, not commenting much due to time, but I like to know what everyone is up to. I struggle with comparing myself to others still. 50 pounds lost in 15 weeks? It took me almost a year, with only a couple cheats--and those couple cheats were minor. Ugh. I really am happy for people, but then I just have a feeling of ugh when I think of my own losses in comparison. So as I was reading blogs, I kept repeating we're all different. It's really weird to be happy for someone (which I really am!) without comparing. I'm working on it, though. It's not a race, I'm doing great, but...like everyone else, I want goal yesterday! =)
School went fairly well today, despite the fact hubby was home. He kind of disappeared so we could do our own thing. We did an abbreviated day, only hitting the major subjects. It was nice to see the interaction between my son and husband during the day.
My son's art class was this afternoon, and when we picked him up we had planned on going out to dinner. We changed our minds and went to the grocery store instead. Everyone got what they wanted, and I got a few other needed groceries. It's funny when hitting the grocery store sounds better than going out! Oh, the changes we have made.
I hope to sneak out of the house early tomorrow afternoon to finish my Christmas shopping. I need to get stocking stuffers for hubby and son. I also need to buy a box of sugar cereal for my son for Christmas. We don't buy that anymore, and he asked for a box for Christmas. I see nothing wrong with that, and thought it was kind of a cute request.
I took a nap after dinner tonight, which was a huge mistake. I'm just starting to get sleepy. Hopefully I'll wake up at normal time with enough energy to make it through the day. I don't do well with a lack of sleep, so we'll see.
My mood is continuing to get better. Exercise is key. A good workout--I mean really sweaty, tiring, all-out workout does more to lift my spirits than anything. I plan on an hour of cardio tomorrow, doing a Gilad tape I got at a thrift store.
I am having a lot of "fun" with Cathe' Basic Step. I am bound and determined to learn it. She does it with ease, such grace and I fumble, get exhausted, and am lacking grace. I plan to continue until I can get it down, as I think Santa is bringing me Cathe's Classics #1, which is three of her older step tapes. Her current cardio is very high impact and I have no desire to do it, but the older stuff is doable.
So I finished Cathe's workout today and I told my son my calorie burn. We were talking about Cathe, The Firm and Jari Love and I told him today I did a beginner tape. He was shocked and laughed a bit that I was doing a beginner tape and soaked with sweat. He's watched it for a few minutes and it really does look easy--but it's not. (For me, that is.)
That made me laugh. Yes, I am doing a beginner tape and not doing it well, but by golly, I'm bound and determined. I'll get there. I think that was a good lesson for him.
I've really been trying to catch up with blog reading. I'm making some gains, not commenting much due to time, but I like to know what everyone is up to. I struggle with comparing myself to others still. 50 pounds lost in 15 weeks? It took me almost a year, with only a couple cheats--and those couple cheats were minor. Ugh. I really am happy for people, but then I just have a feeling of ugh when I think of my own losses in comparison. So as I was reading blogs, I kept repeating we're all different. It's really weird to be happy for someone (which I really am!) without comparing. I'm working on it, though. It's not a race, I'm doing great, but...like everyone else, I want goal yesterday! =)
School went fairly well today, despite the fact hubby was home. He kind of disappeared so we could do our own thing. We did an abbreviated day, only hitting the major subjects. It was nice to see the interaction between my son and husband during the day.
My son's art class was this afternoon, and when we picked him up we had planned on going out to dinner. We changed our minds and went to the grocery store instead. Everyone got what they wanted, and I got a few other needed groceries. It's funny when hitting the grocery store sounds better than going out! Oh, the changes we have made.
I hope to sneak out of the house early tomorrow afternoon to finish my Christmas shopping. I need to get stocking stuffers for hubby and son. I also need to buy a box of sugar cereal for my son for Christmas. We don't buy that anymore, and he asked for a box for Christmas. I see nothing wrong with that, and thought it was kind of a cute request.
I took a nap after dinner tonight, which was a huge mistake. I'm just starting to get sleepy. Hopefully I'll wake up at normal time with enough energy to make it through the day. I don't do well with a lack of sleep, so we'll see.
My mood is continuing to get better. Exercise is key. A good workout--I mean really sweaty, tiring, all-out workout does more to lift my spirits than anything. I plan on an hour of cardio tomorrow, doing a Gilad tape I got at a thrift store.
12.14.2009
NSVs and Other Stuff
NSV #1: I wore real shoes today. I had an old pair of tennis shoe-like bootish looking things that I used to wear a lot. I kept them hoping I'd fit into them again some day. The past couple years my feet have been so swollen I couldn't wear them. So for the first time in a couple years this morning, I put them on and wore them all day long. Gone are the days I wear my mules with no socks because I have to, but can now wear real shoes out and about. (I still love my mules, though.)
My tennies I wear to work out in are too big now and my feet slide around in them. I need new shoes. I've mentioned this before. I looked at several pair today but walked out of the store empty handed. Will look again.
NSV #2: This is a BIG one for me. Said shoes that I wore today became untied when we walked into Barnes and Noble. In the store, in front of Christmas crowds, I bent over and tied my shoes. Only someone morbidly obese can get the significance of that. I didn't have to throw a leg out to the side in order to bend over. I didn't look like a fool. I didn't have to prop my foot up on something. I BENT OVER AND TIED MY SHOE -- IN PUBLIC NO LESS. Yes, I'm shouting. This was one of my biggest goals!!!!
NSV #3: Last night I was getting ready for bed and was playing before and after in the mirror. You know, suck the stomach in for the after, let it all hang out for the before! lol The fact is, I can now suck my stomach in. I couldn't before. As I was doing this, my husband walked into the bedroom. He was amazed and congratulated me. He knew I couldn't suck it in before. It was pretty darned cool! I can really lose inches doing that! Too bad I can't walk around all day like that! I know for sure I'll be that way for real sometime next year!
My kiddo had two dental appointments today. He is healing up beautifully, no longer has to rinse every hour with salt water--a huge deal for him, and he had some special brace thing put on his braces around the surgery area. He's happy. When he's happy, I'm happy.
We had some time to kill between appointments and so we shopped a little and ate out at my favorite place, The Olive Garden. I'm glad it's an hour away, otherwise I'd be in trouble! Then we hit a couple thrift stores. For years and years, I have wanted an old-fashioned blow mold nativity set for the front yard. I'm a vintage freak and love those things. I've looked and looked always coming up empty handed.
Today, at one of the thrift stores, I spotted it--the complete set, including the three wise men and a camel. We raced to the back of the store and some #&*($ man beat me to it. He bought it all. Fair is fair, he was there first. All Christmas stuff was 50% off, and he got that set for under $30. I almost cried! Then I said to him his yard would look great and he had the nerve to tell me he didn't want it, he has a shop and will re-sell it. ARRRGGGHH!!!!!!! He did leave behind a 3-foot Santa without the light which I promptly snatched up for $4. Just have to find a light to fit it, and it's in great shape. So I didn't leave empty handed, but....I will always remember this day and always be a little ticked I didn't get there first! lol
Blow molds, by the way, are the (tacky?)plastic decorations with lights inside. I never knew the technical term of blow mold until I got my first Empire pumpkin this past Halloween.
My husband has taken vacation for THE REST OF THE YEAR. Oh my Lord! It's very difficult to do school with him here as the flow just doesn't, um, flow. Granted two weeks of this we had planned on being off for Christmas break, but we still have the rest of the week to get through. When I mentioned this, he informed me I wasn't making him feel welcome in his own home. Sorry! It's just that when he's here, I'm in relax mode. Or let's get this project done mode, and NOT school mode. Oy!
I'll have to make him some Snickerdoodles to make him feel welcome in his own home!
My tennies I wear to work out in are too big now and my feet slide around in them. I need new shoes. I've mentioned this before. I looked at several pair today but walked out of the store empty handed. Will look again.
NSV #2: This is a BIG one for me. Said shoes that I wore today became untied when we walked into Barnes and Noble. In the store, in front of Christmas crowds, I bent over and tied my shoes. Only someone morbidly obese can get the significance of that. I didn't have to throw a leg out to the side in order to bend over. I didn't look like a fool. I didn't have to prop my foot up on something. I BENT OVER AND TIED MY SHOE -- IN PUBLIC NO LESS. Yes, I'm shouting. This was one of my biggest goals!!!!
NSV #3: Last night I was getting ready for bed and was playing before and after in the mirror. You know, suck the stomach in for the after, let it all hang out for the before! lol The fact is, I can now suck my stomach in. I couldn't before. As I was doing this, my husband walked into the bedroom. He was amazed and congratulated me. He knew I couldn't suck it in before. It was pretty darned cool! I can really lose inches doing that! Too bad I can't walk around all day like that! I know for sure I'll be that way for real sometime next year!
My kiddo had two dental appointments today. He is healing up beautifully, no longer has to rinse every hour with salt water--a huge deal for him, and he had some special brace thing put on his braces around the surgery area. He's happy. When he's happy, I'm happy.
We had some time to kill between appointments and so we shopped a little and ate out at my favorite place, The Olive Garden. I'm glad it's an hour away, otherwise I'd be in trouble! Then we hit a couple thrift stores. For years and years, I have wanted an old-fashioned blow mold nativity set for the front yard. I'm a vintage freak and love those things. I've looked and looked always coming up empty handed.
Today, at one of the thrift stores, I spotted it--the complete set, including the three wise men and a camel. We raced to the back of the store and some #&*($ man beat me to it. He bought it all. Fair is fair, he was there first. All Christmas stuff was 50% off, and he got that set for under $30. I almost cried! Then I said to him his yard would look great and he had the nerve to tell me he didn't want it, he has a shop and will re-sell it. ARRRGGGHH!!!!!!! He did leave behind a 3-foot Santa without the light which I promptly snatched up for $4. Just have to find a light to fit it, and it's in great shape. So I didn't leave empty handed, but....I will always remember this day and always be a little ticked I didn't get there first! lol
Blow molds, by the way, are the (tacky?)plastic decorations with lights inside. I never knew the technical term of blow mold until I got my first Empire pumpkin this past Halloween.
My husband has taken vacation for THE REST OF THE YEAR. Oh my Lord! It's very difficult to do school with him here as the flow just doesn't, um, flow. Granted two weeks of this we had planned on being off for Christmas break, but we still have the rest of the week to get through. When I mentioned this, he informed me I wasn't making him feel welcome in his own home. Sorry! It's just that when he's here, I'm in relax mode. Or let's get this project done mode, and NOT school mode. Oy!
I'll have to make him some Snickerdoodles to make him feel welcome in his own home!
Monday Morning Weigh In + Twist
223
Another 0. Stay the same. Ugh.
Twist:
I've given this a lot of thought. I have become scale obsessed.
I compare myself, my rate of losing, to the time I did Weight Watchers seven years ago. I was in my 30s then and lost at a faster rate. It makes me feel bad that I'm getting old and not losing as fast.
I compare myself to other bloggers, others who are losing fast! While I'm very happy for them, I let myself get worked up that I'm not losing fast.
By becoming scale obsessed, I have taken the focus from improved health to a number on the scale. I have made a positive thing, this journey, into a negative. The whole purpose of this journey is to improve my health. I've never been one with the focus of becoming super thin, sexy, blah blah blah. My whole desire was to improve my quality of life, to feel better, to have more energy, and to be fit. With that comes looking better, looking better in clothes. I've lost sight of my goal.
I do feel better. I do some incredible workouts. I have more energy from the minute I wake up. I don't feel tired, achy, and full of pain in the morning. My hips no longer throb. My back may hurt a time or two, but I can deal with the pain on my foam roller. So I've done what I set out to do: improved my health.
I'm not where I want to be. I had a goal of losing 80-some pounds in this year. I wanted to be in onederland by now. I'm not. So what? I will get there.
This journey is mental and physical. I'm making great strides in both areas, but I have to admit that I've added stress to my life worrying about pounds lost per week.
So...from here on out, I'm going to weigh--drum roll--once a month. Oh, this is tough for me. Yet if this is a change of lifestyle, I really need to embrace what I'm doing: eating better, eating controlled portions, eating mini-meals and exercise. I've been good about celebrating the small changes in my body as they occur. I plan on continuing that. I need to work on stress reduction, and every single day I worry about the number on the scale.
That number on the scale is just a number. My fitness has improved drastically. I've built muscle. I'm getting stronger. I am losing. I've lost almost 60 pounds this year. That is fantastic. It's not "only" 60 pounds, it is a "wonderful" 60 pounds.
I didn't plan for this weight loss thing to take so long. I figured I'd lose what I needed in about a year and a half. Well, time doesn't matter...what matters is I am losing.
So time to take some of the stress I've done to myself and throw it out the window. From now on, I'll do a monthly weigh-in sometime around the middle of the month. Well, I may do an end-of-year weigh in just because, but I just need to lighten up a bit, quit being so hard on myself!
So physically improving and mentally improving: That's a good thing!
Another 0. Stay the same. Ugh.
Twist:
I've given this a lot of thought. I have become scale obsessed.
I compare myself, my rate of losing, to the time I did Weight Watchers seven years ago. I was in my 30s then and lost at a faster rate. It makes me feel bad that I'm getting old and not losing as fast.
I compare myself to other bloggers, others who are losing fast! While I'm very happy for them, I let myself get worked up that I'm not losing fast.
By becoming scale obsessed, I have taken the focus from improved health to a number on the scale. I have made a positive thing, this journey, into a negative. The whole purpose of this journey is to improve my health. I've never been one with the focus of becoming super thin, sexy, blah blah blah. My whole desire was to improve my quality of life, to feel better, to have more energy, and to be fit. With that comes looking better, looking better in clothes. I've lost sight of my goal.
I do feel better. I do some incredible workouts. I have more energy from the minute I wake up. I don't feel tired, achy, and full of pain in the morning. My hips no longer throb. My back may hurt a time or two, but I can deal with the pain on my foam roller. So I've done what I set out to do: improved my health.
I'm not where I want to be. I had a goal of losing 80-some pounds in this year. I wanted to be in onederland by now. I'm not. So what? I will get there.
This journey is mental and physical. I'm making great strides in both areas, but I have to admit that I've added stress to my life worrying about pounds lost per week.
So...from here on out, I'm going to weigh--drum roll--once a month. Oh, this is tough for me. Yet if this is a change of lifestyle, I really need to embrace what I'm doing: eating better, eating controlled portions, eating mini-meals and exercise. I've been good about celebrating the small changes in my body as they occur. I plan on continuing that. I need to work on stress reduction, and every single day I worry about the number on the scale.
That number on the scale is just a number. My fitness has improved drastically. I've built muscle. I'm getting stronger. I am losing. I've lost almost 60 pounds this year. That is fantastic. It's not "only" 60 pounds, it is a "wonderful" 60 pounds.
I didn't plan for this weight loss thing to take so long. I figured I'd lose what I needed in about a year and a half. Well, time doesn't matter...what matters is I am losing.
So time to take some of the stress I've done to myself and throw it out the window. From now on, I'll do a monthly weigh-in sometime around the middle of the month. Well, I may do an end-of-year weigh in just because, but I just need to lighten up a bit, quit being so hard on myself!
So physically improving and mentally improving: That's a good thing!
12.13.2009
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