I had a great day today. I felt good emotionally, I felt good physically, and dare I say it, I was actually happy and content. Knock on wood, don't want to spoil that.
I got SO much work done around the house--felt wonderful.
That's all. Just wanted to share that here as I've been so down in the dumps for so long.
Move along, dark cloud that's been hanging over my head, move along.
5.17.2011
5.15.2011
Naturally...
I love it when things happen naturally. I didn't set out ever to give up pop, it just happened.
Over the years, I was always known to have a 32 ounce (or bigger as the world supersized) pop with me at all times. It was always Diet Pepsi. I never cared for Diet Coke.
I was a frequent flyer at convenience stores, always buying fountain pop. I always had cans of the stuff at home. It was my thing.
A year or so ago, I can't even remember when, I realized that caffeine was triggering anxiety issues. I stopped caffeine immediately. No more Diet Pepsi. I switched to Diet Sierra Mist. Now this was not something that was served via fountain, so I had to rely on cans or bottles at convenience stores. I drank and drank and enjoyed, never really thinking twice about it.
And then there was the kidney stone episode--the surgery and aftermath. (Yeah, I know I talk about it ad naseum.) I drank my pop after the surgery but I also started up with more water with lemon in it, doctor's orders.
I do not know when it happened, but it did. I realized one day that it had been days since I'd had a pop. Days. Unheard of. My husband couldn't believe it.
Now I drink about one pop a week, if that. I may even have one today as my stomach is very upset and pop helps me when I have an upset tummy. I haven't popped one open yet, so I may not. I will keep it on hand, but the desire is no longer there.
Go figure.
And another thing...it's not just pop that has gone away in my life. Yesterday my husband woke me up (he's an early bird, I am not.) He said he'd make me a pot of coffee. We have two pots because I like Starbucks and he likes Folgers--both decaf. So he pulled the basket out in my pot, and I had left grounds in there and they were, um, growing. I was flabbergasted, as was he. I could not remember the last pot of coffee I had made! It had been awhile. We cleaned the basket and pot up and I did have my two cups of coffee.
What happened? Well, I naturally fell in love with water. I am supposed to drink 8-10 ounces every hour. I have a magnetic timer that I set for 59 minutes. I measure my water and drink throughout the hour. If I have not finished when the alarm goes off, I gulp it down and fill up with ice and pour another cup of water in my glass.
Note: if you drink a lot of water, buy stock in your favorite toilet tissue. Make sure you always have an ample supply on hand.
I now crave water. I wake up in the morning feeling dry and go straight to the fridge where I have a glass prepared the night before waiting for me. I'm so not a morning person, and I love the grab and go.
Who knew. I never set out to do this, it just happened.
I believe one of the reasons I developed kidney stones is I was dehydrated. That is the number one cause of kidney stones. The only time I drank water was when I worked out. I would fill a big BPA free mug before my workout and drink it all. After that, though, I was done with water.
Looking over my notes/charts of my post-surgery weights from all three surgeries, I gained weight with each. (Gain weight, no brownies or fun food--how unfair!) One nurse told me I was well hydrated now. I had gained a lot of weight the following morning. Oh, the horror. Now I know that my body was just craving water.
So nature took its course, and it's a good thing. Water is my drink of choice now. Who'd a thunk it.
Here's a great video that explains why pop is bad. It is the best explanation I have ever seen--logical and scientific. It's almost nine minutes, but well worth the time.
Over the years, I was always known to have a 32 ounce (or bigger as the world supersized) pop with me at all times. It was always Diet Pepsi. I never cared for Diet Coke.
I was a frequent flyer at convenience stores, always buying fountain pop. I always had cans of the stuff at home. It was my thing.
A year or so ago, I can't even remember when, I realized that caffeine was triggering anxiety issues. I stopped caffeine immediately. No more Diet Pepsi. I switched to Diet Sierra Mist. Now this was not something that was served via fountain, so I had to rely on cans or bottles at convenience stores. I drank and drank and enjoyed, never really thinking twice about it.
And then there was the kidney stone episode--the surgery and aftermath. (Yeah, I know I talk about it ad naseum.) I drank my pop after the surgery but I also started up with more water with lemon in it, doctor's orders.
I do not know when it happened, but it did. I realized one day that it had been days since I'd had a pop. Days. Unheard of. My husband couldn't believe it.
Now I drink about one pop a week, if that. I may even have one today as my stomach is very upset and pop helps me when I have an upset tummy. I haven't popped one open yet, so I may not. I will keep it on hand, but the desire is no longer there.
Go figure.
And another thing...it's not just pop that has gone away in my life. Yesterday my husband woke me up (he's an early bird, I am not.) He said he'd make me a pot of coffee. We have two pots because I like Starbucks and he likes Folgers--both decaf. So he pulled the basket out in my pot, and I had left grounds in there and they were, um, growing. I was flabbergasted, as was he. I could not remember the last pot of coffee I had made! It had been awhile. We cleaned the basket and pot up and I did have my two cups of coffee.
What happened? Well, I naturally fell in love with water. I am supposed to drink 8-10 ounces every hour. I have a magnetic timer that I set for 59 minutes. I measure my water and drink throughout the hour. If I have not finished when the alarm goes off, I gulp it down and fill up with ice and pour another cup of water in my glass.
Note: if you drink a lot of water, buy stock in your favorite toilet tissue. Make sure you always have an ample supply on hand.
I now crave water. I wake up in the morning feeling dry and go straight to the fridge where I have a glass prepared the night before waiting for me. I'm so not a morning person, and I love the grab and go.
Who knew. I never set out to do this, it just happened.
I believe one of the reasons I developed kidney stones is I was dehydrated. That is the number one cause of kidney stones. The only time I drank water was when I worked out. I would fill a big BPA free mug before my workout and drink it all. After that, though, I was done with water.
Looking over my notes/charts of my post-surgery weights from all three surgeries, I gained weight with each. (Gain weight, no brownies or fun food--how unfair!) One nurse told me I was well hydrated now. I had gained a lot of weight the following morning. Oh, the horror. Now I know that my body was just craving water.
So nature took its course, and it's a good thing. Water is my drink of choice now. Who'd a thunk it.
Here's a great video that explains why pop is bad. It is the best explanation I have ever seen--logical and scientific. It's almost nine minutes, but well worth the time.
5.06.2011
Hopeful News for Me!
Couldn't sleep, so decided to visit my old friend, Google. If you ask the question right, you're more likely to find more answers.
I can't even remember what question I asked this time, but I hit a jackpot of useful information regarding my kidney stone diet.
According to the National Kidney and Urologic Diseases Information Clearinghouse,
This is new to me, the part that says only a few have been shown to increase the amount of oxalate in the urine. That is HUGE. A lot of my favorite foods that I had to give up are NOT on this list! I am so hopeful that I can eat beans again! Other things, too!
It looks like I will never be able to add nuts back, although several of the websites specifically mentioned peanuts and almonds as the two nuts that were on a similar but expanded list. I am so hopeful.
So my plan is to continue as the doctor ordered, but when I see him the next time, I'm definitely going to ask about this! Plus, I'm going to research further and see if I can find the research/studies online. It helps to read the actual studies because sometimes they can be misleading. They're difficult to read for a lay person like me, but I muddle through them.
This makes me hopeful, very hopeful, especially since my bladder has been rumbling all day today. It cramps and rumbles and flutters. Something is going on. I've been drinking tons of water, but I'm worried that remaining kidney stone is making an appearance. It has done this before and then gone away, so hopefully it will go away again. I do hate having that hanging over my head, though, knowing there will soon be the intense pain.
But again, very hopeful I can expand my diet more. The diet restrictions have been extremely difficult to accept. I have my fingers crossed!
I can't even remember what question I asked this time, but I hit a jackpot of useful information regarding my kidney stone diet.
According to the National Kidney and Urologic Diseases Information Clearinghouse,
How does oxalate in the diet affect kidney stone formation?
Some of the oxalate in urine is made by the body. But eating certain foods with high levels of oxalate can increase the amount of oxalate in the urine, where it combines with calcium to form calcium oxalate stones.
This, I knew.
How can a person limit oxalate in the urine?
Many foods and beverages contain oxalate, but only a few have been shown to increase the amount of oxalate in urine:
Avoiding these foods may help reduce the amount of oxalate in the urine.
- spinach
- rhubarb
- nuts
- wheat bran
This is new to me, the part that says only a few have been shown to increase the amount of oxalate in the urine. That is HUGE. A lot of my favorite foods that I had to give up are NOT on this list! I am so hopeful that I can eat beans again! Other things, too!
It looks like I will never be able to add nuts back, although several of the websites specifically mentioned peanuts and almonds as the two nuts that were on a similar but expanded list. I am so hopeful.
So my plan is to continue as the doctor ordered, but when I see him the next time, I'm definitely going to ask about this! Plus, I'm going to research further and see if I can find the research/studies online. It helps to read the actual studies because sometimes they can be misleading. They're difficult to read for a lay person like me, but I muddle through them.
This makes me hopeful, very hopeful, especially since my bladder has been rumbling all day today. It cramps and rumbles and flutters. Something is going on. I've been drinking tons of water, but I'm worried that remaining kidney stone is making an appearance. It has done this before and then gone away, so hopefully it will go away again. I do hate having that hanging over my head, though, knowing there will soon be the intense pain.
But again, very hopeful I can expand my diet more. The diet restrictions have been extremely difficult to accept. I have my fingers crossed!
5.04.2011
I'm Still Kickin'
I haven't been posting here...not much to say, I guess.
Depression is still mild--which is a good thing, that's far better than where I've been the past months. The music lifts my spirits so much, and on days I forget to plug that iPod into a dock, I drag and wilt. When I have my music going, I'm better.
My sleep is getting better! I'm actually sleeping! I'm up to an average of 5 hours a night, which is great. I haven't taken a sleep aid for awhile. To me, this is a sure sign the depression is heading out.
Food plan--still working on it. 15% protein, 45% carbs and 40% fat is the plan. (For anyone new to my blog, the low protein is due to kidney issues, not my choice.) I am still maintaining right now. The tricky part is to find enough food to eat where I feel full. Bumping my fat intake up so much means a lot of calories for olive oil--basically my fat of choice. I'm finding it very difficult to get enough volume of food while keeping calories low and eating what I'm allowed to eat. It's a work in progress.
I've been working hard on getting my step count back to 20,000--most days I've hit it or close. Today I won't but it's close. I'm doing this because I want to start doing doubles again: One workout in the morning, one in the evening. I'm not quite ready/conditioned but very, very close.
I'm down to about one or two pops a week now. I used to drink a lot of diet pop. It's all about the water now, especially with lots of lemon juice and ice! I'm hoping to change my body's pH and get more alkaline. I still drink about a cup and a half of decaf coffee a day, but that's it. I'm NOT giving that up. Still indulging in the Starbucks brand and loving every last drop of it.
That's it. Things are moving along, I'm much more hopeful now, spring is here, we have some sunshine sometimes, and it's time for rebirth and renewal. I'm ready to get rolling again. Just have to figure out the food thing, which has been such a struggle since January.
It's time to work on a really get tough-get serious exercise rotation.
Depression is still mild--which is a good thing, that's far better than where I've been the past months. The music lifts my spirits so much, and on days I forget to plug that iPod into a dock, I drag and wilt. When I have my music going, I'm better.
My sleep is getting better! I'm actually sleeping! I'm up to an average of 5 hours a night, which is great. I haven't taken a sleep aid for awhile. To me, this is a sure sign the depression is heading out.
Food plan--still working on it. 15% protein, 45% carbs and 40% fat is the plan. (For anyone new to my blog, the low protein is due to kidney issues, not my choice.) I am still maintaining right now. The tricky part is to find enough food to eat where I feel full. Bumping my fat intake up so much means a lot of calories for olive oil--basically my fat of choice. I'm finding it very difficult to get enough volume of food while keeping calories low and eating what I'm allowed to eat. It's a work in progress.
I've been working hard on getting my step count back to 20,000--most days I've hit it or close. Today I won't but it's close. I'm doing this because I want to start doing doubles again: One workout in the morning, one in the evening. I'm not quite ready/conditioned but very, very close.
I'm down to about one or two pops a week now. I used to drink a lot of diet pop. It's all about the water now, especially with lots of lemon juice and ice! I'm hoping to change my body's pH and get more alkaline. I still drink about a cup and a half of decaf coffee a day, but that's it. I'm NOT giving that up. Still indulging in the Starbucks brand and loving every last drop of it.
That's it. Things are moving along, I'm much more hopeful now, spring is here, we have some sunshine sometimes, and it's time for rebirth and renewal. I'm ready to get rolling again. Just have to figure out the food thing, which has been such a struggle since January.
It's time to work on a really get tough-get serious exercise rotation.
4.25.2011
Feeling Better...
Each day the pain of depression is letting up and I'm getting better. I'm laughing more, I'm smiling more, but what I really notice is I have much more pep in my step.
Mind over matter. I did not want to go to the doctor and get meds. I have a new doctor phobia, and if you've read my blog for any length of time, you'll know why. Plus, I'm the most stubborn person on the face of the earth. So many people have told me that. It is a good thing when you can use that stubbornness to good use.
So I sat down (or it was probably while I was lying down watching NCIS) and my brain was mulling things over and over. What was the worst thing about the depression? The negative thoughts I was having. All those ugly self-thoughts that I knew weren't true but kept popping up. Plus, the why bother, it's not worth it, screw it, I give up--a second batch of negative stuff.
When we hear things over and over, we start to believe it. I have known that forever. I knew I had to put it to a stop.
Music to the rescue. I started off with spending the last of my iTunes money on some big band music. Love it to pieces. I grew up with it as my dad was a WWII vet and mom wasn't that much younger, so they played that stuff on the record player frequently. It was like coming home. No different than exposing our son to 60s, 70s and 80s rock 'n roll.
The big band music got me walking. I knew it wasn't enough. So I sat down at iTunes and google and created a playlist of happy music. I was very picky with my list. Couldn't be music I liked, it had to have a positive, happy message. I needed to hear those positive words over and over again. I needed to get that negative garbage out of my brain.
So I've been listening to this all weekend and it has helped tremendously. I was quite shocked when my hubby today mentioned that he loved my playlist and wanted a few of my songs. Thank you iTunes home sharing!
So here's the list that I play over and over.
A Beautiful Morning (This one is the first song I play when I wake up!)
I Can See Clearly Now
What a Wonderful World
Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive
On the Sunny Side of the Street
Joy to the World
Walking on Sunshine
Sing, Sing, Sing (no words, but driving, heart-pumping swing!)
Here Comes the Sun
Top of the World
Good Day, Sunshine
Be Happy, Don't Worry
Amazingly powerful for me. Just the ticket to get my thinking back on track.
My step count has gone up! Three days in a row I've hit over 20,000 steps. That was my normal before the surgery. That will be my normal again--NOW.
I'm still feeling a bit overwhelmed with daily life. I haven't been able to dig deep and start projects--but it's coming. Right now the focus is just to get into a good routine, make it habit, and go forward.
Just like my workouts, right now I'm doing lighter cardio until I get that 20,000 down pat and then I'll kick it up and start back with my intense cardio, which I love.
Where there's a will, there's a way. Had this not worked, I would have gone to the doctor. But dang, I'm determined. I have my fight on. I'm getting back to normal--wait, better than normal.
4.22.2011
Sharing a Giveaway!
My friend Lindsey has an awesome blog called Fitness For the Rest of Us. I have blogged about her blog before, I like it that much. She gives great reviews of fitness DVDs and she has the most fantastic give aways!
Today she posted a give away for Paul Katami's Hollywood Bootcamp 4 x 4. I have drooled over all of Paul Katami's DVDs for a long time, but I haven't bought one because I have many to keep me busy. Plus I try not to spend too much money. So I'm entering this contest here and hope you all run over to Lindsey's blog for a wonderful dose of inspiration--she has an amazing weight loss story--and to take advantage of her wonderful give aways!
4.21.2011
What's Up?
Well, glad I asked myself that question. Feeling loquacious tonight, so here goes:
My computer died and I had to get a new one. I've been adjusting to it. Missing all my bookmarks, still transferring files. The old one barely runs, so I am able to access stuff.
My dishwasher died. I did not get a new one. Instead, I've gone back in time to hand washing dishes. It's therapeutic and I really don't mind doing it. Will not be replacing the portable dishwasher as I appreciate the free space more than the convenience of the appliance.
Been in maintenance mode intentionally. Depression has been very bad and I overwhelmed myself by reading tons of books and researching. It actually depressed me more than it helped. So I decided to just hang for a bit, maintaining my wonderful loss and waiting for the pain of the depression to ease.
Exercise has not been the best. I have not been updating my little box at the top of my blog. I continue to get over 10,000 steps a day and an occasional workout in despite everything.
Basically, I've been pretty bad off. I've spent a lot of time horizontal. I watch my NCIS disks. I also discovered a TV show from the early 90s had been uploaded onto YouTube and I watched every upload. Homefront. Ever hear of it? I loved it then, love it now. It was a post WWII drama and it was an excellent show.
Injured my feet! Bought new thongs--er, flipflops. (My age is showing! ha) I wore them about two hours a few days ago and managed to produce some nasty blisters in between my toes. To top it off, I also had really bad cracked heels again on both feet--been fighting that all winter. The past few days I was wobbling. I still broke 10,000 steps each day, though.
Yesterday and today I had a slight turn. Felt a bit better yesterday. Today? I was dancing in my kitchen. The show Homefront piqued my memory. I have always loved the Big Band era of music, so I opened up iTunes and had credit left! Yay! I bought myself about five Big Band songs. In The Mood, Sing Sing Sing, Accentuate the Positive, etc. Wow, what a spirit lifter having some pumping music driving me--the first two songs just make you want to jitterbug! In fact, hubby and I did jitterbug in the kitchen when he came home from lunch the other day.
I think this music, which touched my history-loving heart, got my flames going a bit. I felt better today. I felt a little cheerful. How wonderful. I don't want to jinx myself--I've had so many false starts trying to get over this depression, but my gut tells me it's going to move on. I have a strong and reliable gut reaction, so I'm hopeful.
The tune Accentuate the Positive is stuck in my brain, and it's a great song to have there. Here are the lyrics:
Gather 'round me, everybody
Gather 'round me while I'm preachin'
Feel a sermon comin' on me
The topic will be sin and that's what I'm ag'in'
If you wanna hear my story
The settle back and just sit tight
While I start reviewin'
The attitude of doin' rightYou've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium's
Liable to walk upon the scene
To illustrate my last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do just when everything looked so dark?
(Man, they said "We'd better accentuate the positive")
("Eliminate the negative")
("And latch on to the affirmative")
Don't mess with Mister In-Between (No!)
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
(Ya got to spread joy up to the maximum)
(Bring gloom down to the minimum)
(Have faith or pandemonium's)
(Liable to walk upon the scene)
You got to ac (yes, yes) -cent-tchu-ate the positive
Eliminate (yes, yes) the negative
And latch (yes, yes) on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, don't mess with Mister In-Between
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