Instant Gratification

I think society is set up for instant gratification. We don't like to wait for anything, we want it now. Want a new song? Log on, go to iTunes, ta da, it's there. Want to snuggle up with a good book? Buy yourself a Kindle, turn your Kindle on, buy the book you want and you're all set.

It works that way with health and weight loss, too. We want it now. We want that weight to fall off immediately. We want Biggest Loser-type results. Fast. Now.

For me, that extends to food. I don't like to cook. That may be why going out to eat was at one point a big part of our lives. It was easier to get in the car, go through the drive through, bring it home and have supper than it was to cook. Silly because we could have prepared a nutritious meal in the same period of time, but it was just easier to get in that car.

We don't do that anymore. Sometimes we go to Subway, but I have to be super careful there now because of sodium content. Lunch meat is notoriously high in sodium. I really have to plan for it.

I think one of the reasons I've struggled with my kidney stone prevention diet is that instantly, many of my favorite foods were taken away like a rug is yanked from under one's feet. I no longer had that instant gratification of going into the kitchen knowing that I could prepare what I was to eat almost effortlessly. I brooded. I moped around, I was depressed. My depression had many causes, that was just one part.

Now as that cloud has blown away, I'm left trying to find new instant gratification. I am still struggling. I don't know what to eat. Trying to get my healthy monounsaturated fats, a blogging friend suggested macadamia nuts. They were lower in oxalate, much lower. I've tried them, I've tried a couple different brand. I just don't like them. So that pretty much leaves me with olive oil. You can only take so much olive oil.

My breakfasts are still a struggle. One of the few processed foods I was eating was high fiber cereal and it's on the no-no list. I've played around with other cereals, but they have NO nutritional value, no fiber, and they make me crave more. Bad carbs, bad food choice for me.

It's a struggle. I am so hopeful to find my groove, to find my new niche. I want it fast, I want it easy, and I want it palatable. I'm not having much luck.

Someone suggested to me that I was being immature and a baby about all of this. I needed to grow up, and eat what was healthy for my body. Then she went over what she thought I needed. Most of the foods she eats and was trying to get me to eat were very high in oxalate and on my no list, plus she eats a lot of meat and couldn't comprehend that I am only allowed meat (fish, beef, poultry) twice a day with three ounce portions. If she had to do what I'm faced with, she'd be pretty miserable, too.

I was talking to another friend this week and she said that it she thought it was easier to follow her diabetic diet than mine. We both decided it would be wonderful if we were given a list of what all you could eat and go from there. It doesn't work that way.

I'm no cook, I'm not creative in the kitchen, and I do struggle. I'm hungry. I want to fuel my body, I want nutritious foods. So I think this will take me awhile. At this stage I'm over the anger, and over my "immature and baby attitude" that I was told I had. (I may have been immature and had a childish attitude, but I own that--it was very hard for me. If I had a healthy relationship with food to begin with, it wouldn't have been so difficult. I don't have a healthy relationship with food and everything healthful I was trying to do turned out to be bad for my body, not society in general.)

15% protein (two 3-ounce servings of meat daily)
40% fat
45% carbs
2300 mg sodium
1200 mg calcium daily
8-10 oz. water each hour

The protein/fat/carbs is my concoction. It's mixing the low-protein needs of the KS diet with the lower carb needs of my metabolic disorder.

Looks easy, but when you drop your carbs and up the fat, you're getting a lot less volume. Less bang for the buck. That's why I'm hungry.

So I'm working on it. I'm looking for new foods, I'm looking for fresh ideas. My eye is on the prize. I just love getting thrown curve balls. That's why I'm The Tortoise--it's slow, but damn it, I'm so stubborn, I will get there.

Day 2 of the Rotation

Today I did my workout, The Firm's Core Cardio 1 and an ab workout. I plan on something light tonight.

Observations: My glutes are screaming! DOMS from triceps work as well. It's good to have those feelings. Tomorrow is another strength workout and I'm fearful of what it will do to my screaming glutes, but I need to remind myself that it's good to work out when one has DOMS. The soreness will probably be gone tomorrow anyway. I love my Firms. If I could have only one "set" or instructor or brand, it would be the Benson-era Firms. Thankfully I'm not limited, as I'm a vidiot to the core and love many instructors.

My heart rate monitor broke! The battery appeared dead, so I replaced it. It worked, had me re-log all the information, then when I put the back on it, it quit again. Not happy as I use that on my rebounder because the fitbit doesn't work correctly on there, and I also use it to actually watch my heart rate! Will have hubby look at it. Hoping that I don't need to buy a new one. It has had a lot of use, though. It's one of my can't-live-without items, though. (So is my fitbit.)

Food great today. Out of salad, so hubby is running to the store later tonight for me--bless his complaining heart. lol

This is the last day of my son's after-school class and I'm thrilled--Tuesday freedom! We love his class, love the instructor, and it's a great outlet for him, but it makes Tuesdays crazy as I also do all my errands on Tuesdays. I do that to save time, gas, energy--and it always makes for a busy and somewhat stressful day.

I can't think of anything else to say. Drinking tons of water, getting tons of movement, feeling so much better. Going to do some light movement tonight, I don't know what it will be yet, though. Watching a Cathe video that arrived in today's mail that I traded for--I definitely don't have energy for that!

Slacking...

I've been doing too much slacking in certain areas lately.

1) Haven't been updating the blog. When you've blogged for over two years, though, you run out of things to blog about. I think up great posts as I'm drifting off to sleep, but in the morning I realize there was nothing great about them because they were just sleep thoughts.

2) Haven't been reading blogs on a regular basis. There's a simple reason for that. I really get bothered when I see recipes with foods I can't have. I'm getting over that, I'm so much better, and I can even crack jokes about almonds now, so that may change soon.

3) Haven't been updating my pretty exercise calendar. My exercise has been weird, I've been doing mostly walking lately. I've been averaging around 18,000 steps daily, give or take. I've been slacking in the weights department--big no no!

So, I will try to update the blog on a more regular basis.

I will try to read blogs on a more regular basis.

I will update my exercise calendar and kick it up a notch with the workouts. In fact, I found some new-to-me friends, fellow Firm lovers, and we're all going to do The Firm's 90 Day Rotation together starting today. This rotation I have attempted many times, but other instructors call my name and I stray by week three. Hopefully this time I'm going to do it! I've always wanted to accomplish that.

I'm feel a LOT better. I had a really good week last week. My spirits are up, my energy is up, and I'm finding my new normal now. I think I just had to go through that rough patch to appreciate everything more so.

Great Day!

I had a great day today. I felt good emotionally, I felt good physically, and dare I say it, I was actually happy and content. Knock on wood, don't want to spoil that.

I got SO much work done around the house--felt wonderful.

That's all. Just wanted to share that here as I've been so down in the dumps for so long.

Move along, dark cloud that's been hanging over my head, move along.

Naturally...

I love it when things happen naturally. I didn't set out ever to give up pop, it just happened.

Over the years, I was always known to have a 32 ounce (or bigger as the world supersized) pop with me at all times. It was always Diet Pepsi. I never cared for Diet Coke.

I was a frequent flyer at convenience stores, always buying fountain pop. I always had cans of the stuff at home. It was my thing.

A year or so ago, I can't even remember when, I realized that caffeine was triggering anxiety issues. I stopped caffeine immediately. No more Diet Pepsi. I switched to Diet Sierra Mist. Now this was not something that was served via fountain, so I had to rely on cans or bottles at convenience stores. I drank and drank and enjoyed, never really thinking twice about it.

And then there was the kidney stone episode--the surgery and aftermath. (Yeah, I know I talk about it ad naseum.) I drank my pop after the surgery but I also started up with more water with lemon in it, doctor's orders.

I do not know when it happened, but it did. I realized one day that it had been days since I'd had a pop. Days. Unheard of. My husband couldn't believe it.

Now I drink about one pop a week, if that. I may even have one today as my stomach is very upset and pop helps me when I have an upset tummy. I haven't popped one open yet, so I may not. I will keep it on hand, but the desire is no longer there.

Go figure.

And another thing...it's not just pop that has gone away in my life. Yesterday my husband woke me up (he's an early bird, I am not.) He said he'd make me a pot of coffee. We have two pots because I like Starbucks and he likes Folgers--both decaf. So he pulled the basket out in my pot, and I had left grounds in there and they were, um, growing. I was flabbergasted, as was he. I could not remember the last pot of coffee I had made! It had been awhile. We cleaned the basket and pot up and I did have my two cups of coffee.

What happened? Well, I naturally fell in love with water. I am supposed to drink 8-10 ounces every hour. I have a magnetic timer that I set for 59 minutes. I measure my water and drink throughout the hour. If I have not finished when the alarm goes off, I gulp it down and fill up with ice and pour another cup of water in my glass.

Note: if you drink a lot of water, buy stock in your favorite toilet tissue. Make sure you always have an ample supply on hand.

I now crave water. I wake up in the morning feeling dry and go straight to the fridge where I have a glass prepared the night before waiting for me. I'm so not a morning person, and I love the grab and go.

Who knew. I never set out to do this, it just happened.

I believe one of the reasons I developed kidney stones is I was dehydrated. That is the number one cause of kidney stones. The only time I drank water was when I worked out. I would fill a big BPA free mug before my workout and drink it all. After that, though, I was done with water.

Looking over my notes/charts of my post-surgery weights from all three surgeries, I gained weight with each. (Gain weight, no brownies or fun food--how unfair!) One nurse told me I was well hydrated now. I had gained a lot of weight the following morning. Oh, the horror. Now I know that my body was just craving water.

So nature took its course, and it's a good thing. Water is my drink of choice now. Who'd a thunk it.

Here's a great video that explains why pop is bad. It is the best explanation I have ever seen--logical and scientific. It's almost nine minutes, but well worth the time.

Hopeful News for Me!

Couldn't sleep, so decided to visit my old friend, Google. If you ask the question right, you're more likely to find more answers.

I can't even remember what question I asked this time, but I hit a jackpot of useful information regarding my kidney stone diet.

According to the National Kidney and Urologic Diseases Information Clearinghouse,

How does oxalate in the diet affect kidney stone formation?

Some of the oxalate in urine is made by the body. But eating certain foods with high levels of oxalate can increase the amount of oxalate in the urine, where it combines with calcium to form calcium oxalate stones.

This, I knew.

How can a person limit oxalate in the urine?

Many foods and beverages contain oxalate, but only a few have been shown to increase the amount of oxalate in urine:

• spinach
• rhubarb
• nuts
• wheat bran

Avoiding these foods may help reduce the amount of oxalate in the urine.

This is new to me, the part that says only a few have been shown to increase the amount of oxalate in the urine. That is HUGE. A lot of my favorite foods that I had to give up are NOT on this list! I am so hopeful that I can eat beans again! Other things, too!

It looks like I will never be able to add nuts back, although several of the websites specifically mentioned peanuts and almonds as the two nuts that were on a similar but expanded list. I am so hopeful.

So my plan is to continue as the doctor ordered, but when I see him the next time, I'm definitely going to ask about this! Plus, I'm going to research further and see if I can find the research/studies online. It helps to read the actual studies because sometimes they can be misleading. They're difficult to read for a lay person like me, but I muddle through them.

This makes me hopeful, very hopeful, especially since my bladder has been rumbling all day today. It cramps and rumbles and flutters. Something is going on. I've been drinking tons of water, but I'm worried that remaining kidney stone is making an appearance. It has done this before and then gone away, so hopefully it will go away again. I do hate having that hanging over my head, though, knowing there will soon be the intense pain.

But again, very hopeful I can expand my diet more. The diet restrictions have been extremely difficult to accept. I have my fingers crossed!

I'm Still Kickin'

I haven't been posting here...not much to say, I guess.

Depression is still mild--which is a good thing, that's far better than where I've been the past months. The music lifts my spirits so much, and on days I forget to plug that iPod into a dock, I drag and wilt. When I have my music going, I'm better.

My sleep is getting better! I'm actually sleeping! I'm up to an average of 5 hours a night, which is great. I haven't taken a sleep aid for awhile. To me, this is a sure sign the depression is heading out.

Food plan--still working on it. 15% protein, 45% carbs and 40% fat is the plan. (For anyone new to my blog, the low protein is due to kidney issues, not my choice.) I am still maintaining right now. The tricky part is to find enough food to eat where I feel full. Bumping my fat intake up so much means a lot of calories for olive oil--basically my fat of choice. I'm finding it very difficult to get enough volume of food while keeping calories low and eating what I'm allowed to eat. It's a work in progress.

I've been working hard on getting my step count back to 20,000--most days I've hit it or close. Today I won't but it's close. I'm doing this because I want to start doing doubles again: One workout in the morning, one in the evening. I'm not quite ready/conditioned but very, very close.

I'm down to about one or two pops a week now. I used to drink a lot of diet pop. It's all about the water now, especially with lots of lemon juice and ice! I'm hoping to change my body's pH and get more alkaline. I still drink about a cup and a half of decaf coffee a day, but that's it. I'm NOT giving that up. Still indulging in the Starbucks brand and loving every last drop of it.

That's it. Things are moving along, I'm much more hopeful now, spring is here, we have some sunshine sometimes, and it's time for rebirth and renewal. I'm ready to get rolling again. Just have to figure out the food thing, which has been such a struggle since January.

It's time to work on a really get tough-get serious exercise rotation.