Feeling Stressed

I am feeling very stressed tonight. Why? Because I've been a lazy butt and not got my taxes together and done.

I called to make an appointment today, and I can't get in. I have to drop them off preferably before Friday. Which means I need to get off my shrinking butt and get them done. Tomorrow.

Why do I do this? I did it last year, too, but there was a reason. This year it was just plain lazy.

My house is a mess, the laundry is piled high, and my son needs schooled. I wrote out a list of what he must do tomorrow and he'll go it alone. Well, if he needs help he can bug me. He is a teenager, and he can work on his own more, and it's just review of what we did today in math. He'll live and learn.

I have two other projects hanging over my head. One was I volunteered to scan all the family photos to distribute to my siblings. I've scanned thousands, and have two albums plus some loose photos to finish. This has been a major source of stress in my life for reasons I can't go into here. I want it done. It has taken so much time. It has been emotionally painful. So after I get the taxes done, I'm going to move from the dungeon--basement, that is, and set up shop in the school room which is upstairs. I'm going to get 'em done.

Finally, we need to sell the two cars. I lost the car title to our old van. Who on earth loses a car title? My hubby and I tore through everything yesterday searching and came up empty-handed. So I stopped and ordered a replacement title today for $20. So it will be one to three weeks before we get that done.

I was thinking about my procrastinating, and wondering how it translates into the rest of my life. Today I finally made it to Walgreen's and purchased a bunch of vitamins. I also forced myself to take a walk, even though I was cold. Exercise is something that I keep putting off until I feel better. Hey, I do feel a little better. Besides, if I don't get moving now, I will continue to put it off.

I stress myself out. That's the bottom line. I set myself up for this garbage. Look what I did to my body? I got my weight up to 282.5, all the while thinking I'll start up Weight Watchers again soon. I stress myself out by not being organized, and losing the title to a vehicle. I stress myself out by not getting my taxes done in a timely manner.

I love my son more than anything. I would do anything for him, unconditionally. I try not to make his life stressful, I try to teach him well, and I put him first. Because I love him. Well, why do I not do this with myself, too? Why do I not love myself like I love my child?

It's stupid, really. It's time to work on loving myself more.

Life throws enough stress at us, there's no reason we need to add to it ourselves.

So tomorrow my sweet boy will do his work, I'll get the taxes done and work on the house, laundry, and at the end of the day, I'll further take care of myself with a lovely walk as a reward.

Because I'm worth it.