I've finished catching up on blogs. Wow, it appears I am not the only out there in a little funk. While it makes me sad that others go through this, it reassures me that it is just a part of life. Funks happen. It's how we deal with it that matters.
I must honestly admit that while I am in this funk, I am handling it better than I would have a few months ago. Much better. So I need to give myself credit for that.
One of the blogs I read, Merry Mary, wrote a post about motivation versus determination. She so nailed it. Motivation waxes and wanes, determination is forever. Determination is what counts.
This issue over my friend last night was about judgment. This friend is another low-carber. I have no problems with how people choose to eat, what plan they wish to follow, or the lifestyle they choose to lead. I do have a problem when they pass judgment on me and my personal choices. Live and let live. And she was in a meeting with other friends and making fun of what I ate, some of my choices, the fact that I eat baked chips and a few other things. She didn't like that I drink diet sodas. She didn't like that I eat cereal for breakfast. Yada, yada, yada. In a small town, stuff gets back to you fast.
That was hurtful because I don't judge her on her choices. I don't judge anyone on what they eat. (I do judge people, and it's on character--I'm human, not perfect.) The key to success, in my mind, is personalizing things to suit the individual. I started at 282.5. There is no way on God's green earth that I can make an instant switch from eating garbage, refined carbs, etc., to clean eating overnight. For me, it needs to be a gradual process. I have been making small changes each week. I eat much healthier than I did in February. The gradual changes ease me into it, enable me to succeed. The gradual changes build. Over time, health improves, tastes change, food choices are better.
To me, that's what it's all about. Changes, permanent changes. I'm not setting myself up to fail, I'm setting myself up to succeed.
So she can judge all she wants, I guess. This is my journey, I am making it mine in every aspect, doing what I need to succeed. I am determined. I am not perfect, and have never professed to being perfect. I'm doing it my way.
The one piece of advice I give everyone: Personalize, do it your way.
That doesn't mean I don't read, research, and continue to learn. I do! That's how I'm able to come up with small changes along the way. I do it at my pace, on my terms.
I'm kind of selfish in this regard, but I know deep down, I won't succeed unless I am selfish, unless I make changes on my terms and my timeline.
To me, that's a big part of the mental battle. You have to accept things, admit things, then be willing to change. That just can't happen overnight--at least for me it can't. It would just be too overwhelming.
Like setting small weight-loss goals, setting small change goals works. For me.
So I can hold my head up high, ignore the gossip, and not let it get to me. Five years from now it won't matter, but my work, what I am doing, will.
Staying strong, staying determined. That will get me through the funk. That will get me through life!
My joke didn't get you outta your funk? Why do I ever try?
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. Finding your own way is ow you will get there. And I can't say enough about the gradual change, my first hundred pounds came off with baked lays, die cokes, and frozen dinners supplemented with bags of frozen veggies. Oh and skinny cows. The switch to clean eating over night isn't realistic for some, it takes a lifetime to get to the way you are, it will take slow gradual change to come back from it too. It's the small incremental changes that stick. Ignore the person who's putting you down. Being successful is the best revenge. That would give her something to talk about!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear your in a funk! I am too! I agree slow and gradual changes will stick in the long run! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI'm with ya girl!! It's the small changes over a long period that really add up. What works for her may not work for you. You'll get there. Someday she will be wishing she would have listened to you a little more and respected your choices. :)
ReplyDeleteI've come to realize we can't win with all people. Some people just need someone to talk about. I think those are the people that are the most unhappy with themselves. I wouldn't worry about what she says or thinks. It's clear she has things to work out.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing a good job and it's very true this weight loss journey is totally personal. We have to find what works for each of us. It's "OUR" journey no one elses and sure we can listen but that doesn't mean others ways will work for us. Don't let her get you down.
The other thing to remember is this is for life and life is alway changing so what works today may not work tomorrow. It's about just never giving up and keeping moving forward in the way that works for you.
Hang in there and I hope the funk goes away soon. *hug*
Oh Jack, you made me laugh with your joke! I'm not the best at responding to comments. You always make me laugh and lift me up with your humor. You are gifted.
ReplyDeleteIf only a joke would work..."sawed" yeah, I liked it. =)
Maybe that funk will lift soon...it's just funk...after all! Very good blog today, Jo.
ReplyDeleteIt's all about baby steps! Celebrate the small steps along the way to the big goal ahead! As far as the negative people, let it go in one ear and out the other! :)
ReplyDeleteDo you think it has anything to do with the full moon????? I wonder. I was in a funk yesterday...BAD. Plus, I have a giant canker sore in my mouth that's killing me. I'm totally reacting to issues with my aging parents, and it just SUCKS. You're right. Funks are just part of life. At least I didn't eat my way through the day. Only because my mouth hurt, though. lol
ReplyDelete(((Hugs))) right back at you :)
ReplyDeleteYou're so right! Consistently making small changes is the best way to go... Hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteI agree about the gradual changes philosophy, besides we have to be able to eat normally at some stage and by learning to eat sensibly with everyday foods, that will be easier in the long run and less likely to gain the weight back again.
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling brighter soon.
Everyone goes through cycles, highs and lows. Thankfully the lows aren't permanent. Funk isn't forever. Just stay determined and keep making small changes. You can do this!
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the post. ~ from a fellow blogger sitting in the middle of a big funk
ReplyDeleteGreat post. This could apply to so many things in life - people just need to get out of other people's business sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI love what you said about personalizing it and doing it your own way. It certainly isn't fair for others to pass judgment on what we do with our lifestyles and eating habits.
ReplyDeleteA while back my guy friend tried to persuade me that I shouldn't do strength training and that it won't help with my weight loss. I do my research + homework + get counseling from trainer, how is he supposed to know any better??
Makes me want to stick a dumbbell up his xxx.
Hehe j/k. But I certainly get you!!!
I soooo know what your talking about with the small town gossip getting back to you thing. Sometimes I wish it wouldn't make its way around. Your better off not knowing what people say sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI'm dealing with disappointment in people myself this week. Hang in there.
(((HUGS)))
Heather, you are so right. Friends don't do that.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, no one except my husband and son that I know in real life know about this blog. Completely intentional on my part to tell no one.
That's so interesting that she's making fun of your food choices. Low Carbers are usually the targets of food judgement, not the other way around(well, the other way around but not with non-low carbers). That just sucks. Reality is, it's her loss. You come out looking like the better person for not sinking to her level.
ReplyDeleteJo - you're so right. I anticipated grief from people who don't agree w/ my liquid fast and that's why I've told only a few in my life. Do what works for YOU. great post!
ReplyDelete