Calm...

I'm finally calm now. I had an emotional day. Hubby took the afternoon off, which means he's home before noon, and it messes our school up when he's here. The doctor's office called early this morning and moved my appointment up a few hours. Ugh.

So, at lunch time I put in my workout and did that, which helped tremendously. Got my mind of myself, and, well, onto myself just in a better way--an in the moment kind of thing. Pumped some iron, and I'm feeling it tonight! For what it's worth, I bought Cathe's STS program. It's not that I didn't like P90X, it's just that I couldn't do the same workouts for 12 weeks. Cathe's program is more expensive, but it's a different disk each time. I love Cathe, and it's just a better fit. I think it's very similar to P90X--you work hard, darned hard. I lifted heavier today than I ever have--did it well--and am feeling it! With Cathe, I can do my own cardio--and that's what makes me happy. I do think I'll do the P90X stretch tape tomorrow or Saturday, though. My son will work his way up to P90X. He's doing Power 90 now and doing great.

So when I was done I ate a quick lunch, showered and we went to the appointment. Nothing left to try except exploratory surgery. Gulp. He wants to do it in the hospital rather than the same-day surgery place for a few reasons. He says we're still in the diagnostic stage, as he doesn't know what the problem is. He'll dig around and find out. Depending on what it is, he can take care of it that day, such as scar tissue. If it is more extensive, such as endometriosis or if I need a hysterectomy, he'll close me up an we'll start again at another time. UGH.

So I may or may not spend the night. Who knows what is going to happen. I was a basket case all afternoon and into the evening, but about an hour ago I just accepted that it is what it is, it's God's design, and a peace came over me that was very welcomed.

I just want the pain to go away so I can work out and live my life. lol Funny how our priorities change--it bothers me most that there are times I cannot work out. Seriously. So what that there have been times when I was coming up from the basement and had to stop on the stairs because a knee raise about doubled me over. I just want to work out! Kidding--I just want good health.

So now I wait for the nurse to call me back tomorrow to confirm the early May date, then I have to call the insurance company and get the approval, blah, blah, blah.

The funny thing? She originally wanted to set the date for the anniversary of my father's death. I told her that just wouldn't work for me. lol

Subway for dinner, which was nice that I didn't have to cook. Now back to the real world so I can get some things done!