Toxic

I have felt so toxic today. I feel sick, sleepy, cranky and my body just feels toxic. It is so off. I SO regret not taking a xanax last night. Tonight, I'll take one in a half hour and a half pill a half hour later, rather than 2 the doc suggested.

Hubby's flight was delayed, so he's still not home.

I slept most of the day.

Was annoyed that the only reason I had to go in today was to sign a form. Couldn't that have been handled tomorrow morning? Oh, no, they don't get an office visit to bill out that way. I could have been sleeping and I wouldn't have had that toxic feeling.

The doctor is a hoot, told me to ham it up this weekend and pretend I'm in pain because I won't be, and told me to milk it for everything it's worth. I laughed at him, told him he was reading my mind, because I'm a mom and a wife and we seldom get time off. He told me to treat it as a spa weekend, which is what I had planned.

I feel today was a complete waste of a day. I just hate this feeling. Even after drinking tons of water to "clean out that toxic feeling" it never left. I'm hoping tomorrow I'll feel better. Or the drugs will knock it out of me.

I did not count points today. I didn't eat well in that I didn't eat enough, didn't get my veggies in. I had Subway for supper (with a few veggies, so I guess I did get some in) and I had two bowls of cereal. I have no desire to eat, feel icky full even though I didn't eat much. I guarantee I didn't make my point target today, and I'm okay with that. Sometimes you have to follow what your body tells you.

I have packed a couple breakfast cookies, my insurance card, my driver's license and a small amount of cash to hand off to the boys. I have yet to make the list of my medications. I find this so annoying because it's not changed, they have the info, yet I have to bring it in again. I might just wing it: xanax, tricor and vitamins. Done, it's in my head.

That's about it. Just waiting, watching out the window waiting for hubby. And worrying a bit, I always worry until his car pulls in the driveway.

After my pre-op appt on Monday, I felt so relieved and less nervous. I guess my body felt otherwise, as I wouldn't have had the bad insomnia last night. Today I've been cranky, but I know I can blame that on sleep. A few naps on and off just don't cut it for me.

So, I'm off. Don't know if I'll log on tomorrow or not. Hope everyone has a great weekend. See ya soon.