A Funny from Yesterday

So yesterday afternoon I showered late. We were going to doggie class that night and I wanted to be fresh not wilted for class. (It's a hair thing.) So I was in my bathrobe at 3pm. I just let my two older doggies out to go potty while I was putzing around my house.

We don't have a back door in our house. It's a weird design, a smallish house, and they used every square inch to its advantage. So the back door goes to our garage, and then you get to the back yard through the garage.

My pups were out in the back and had free access to the garage.

I completely forgot about the UPS man. My pasta was scheduled to be delivered yesterday afternoon. The UPS man comes between 2 an 3 here. A minute after I let the dogs out, I heard his brakes squealing.

Oh no! He opens our garage door in the front to deliver packages. Weird as it is, he rings that bell, comes in to the garage, and waits for me at that door. Life would be easier if he would use the front door.

The minute I heard his brakes squeal, I ran out the door to bring the dogs in. While doing that, my robe caught on the handle of the door. It ripped as I stepped, and all of a sudden I was standing in my garage, with a UPS man seconds from entering, bare ass naked. There was my robe hanging on the door.

My heart was beating, I heard the foot steps. I screamed: DON'T OPEN THE DOOR! I pried and further ripped my bathrobe, but I got it on. My dogs by this time were going nuts. I ran to the door the UPS man was standing at, cracked it two inches, trying to hold my robe around me and get jumping dogs to behave, in frustration I said: I just got out of the shower, my dogs are going crazy, please just set the package on the ground.

Our eyes met for a second. I was beet red--I could feel it. He sat the package down and left. I was so flustered that I was almost shaking. He drove off, I commanded the dogs to sit, I opened the door and got my package.

Walked into the house, excited for my pasta, but thinking: I bet those UPS delivery guys have seen it all, and he almost did with me. I would have DIED of embarrassment.

Now I think it's funny, but can you imagine? Why would I be naked in my garage? With two dogs? Can you imagine what his thoughts would have been had he not heard my scream and entered the garage???

After I tore open my box, drooled over my pasta, I called my husband to tell him. He didn't think it was funny at all. He wondered why I was so unorganized. He told me to be careful. Sheesh, he has no sense of humor.

I guess the best part of the story is this: My hubby got off work about a half hour after this happened. I was still in that robe. When he got home he laughed about it a little, and for fun I said, "This is what that UPS guy missed" and flashed my husband.

"Whoa! Stop!" My husband said. "Look at your stomach, Jo!" huh??? Not exactly the thing I want to look at, ever. He made me look at it. Guess what? After only what, five, six weeks on Weight Watchers, there is a big visible difference in my stomach. I was stunned! So was he! It's got divots in it. That may not be the right word--my hubby used that word as he's a golfer. You can visibly see where it is shrinking, there's a big line that wasn't there before. Then I felt it. (Sounds like I'm feeling myself up, doesn't it?) When I ran my hand over my tummy, I really noticed the difference.

Wow.

If it hadn't been for the UPS man, we would have never known!