Discouraged

Another bad day.

WARNING: This is definitely a TMI post. Skip on by if you don't need to know personal details of my woes including female stuff, blood and gore.




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This boil throbs, burns and hurts like holy hell. I can't sit on the toilet, even, as the boil hits the seat. I've done the heat pack to draw the infection out, but it's not working. I'm too afraid to lance it on my own because I'm afraid of infection. And I don't want to go into a walk-in clinic today because...

It's close to, well, the private area. And I am bleeding like a gusher. And I couldn't handle it if I had to go pantless in front of anyone in the condition I am in, because I'm so heavy that I'd be afraid of a leak, or odor, or whatever.

I will call my doctor's office tomorrow. I should be lighter. I can't stand the pain this stupid boil is giving me. If it were located anywhere else, it wouldn't be so bad, but I can't walk as it rubs on my other leg. Forget about exercising today, sigh. I know I need antibiotics.

Cramps are severe today.

Something's got to give. These periods are awful, from the PMS to the extremely heavy flow. (I bled so heavily last night that I soaked my sheets.) And I always get a boil with each period, but never like this one. I need help.

The last time I had a physical I brought it up to my doctor. I started in on all the problems I was having and his response: Really? I thought they were supposed to get better as you got older.

I like this doctor in so many ways, I really do. He was there for me and helped me out with my panic situation. He's not listening to me about "the pain" I have which he pointed out was in my bowel, and about the period issues. The periods are affecting the quality of my life. You can see it in this blog, how weird I get the preceding week. The pain, the pain, the pain.

He never once told me I was pre-diabetic. I found that out when I couldn't get into him and had to see another doctor for a sinus infection I had. That guy looked at my chart, announced I was pre-diabetic, and then we had a nice, long talk about Neti pots. (They are wonderful, if you haven't tried one.)

These periods make me feel crazy, and I just don't need that. Not crazy, but unbalanced. And I'm not, I just am having severe surges of hormones or whatever and it's not pretty.

So I could go back to my doctor. I will try to get in to see him tomorrow to lance this thing, but he's probably booked and I'll get whomever.

My son has an appointment later this month with a new doctor, a woman. She used to work where my doctor does, but she and another doc broke away so they could have more control of what they did. I could go to her. I don't know what to do, but I have to do something.

Last night I started crying hard because of all this. My husband was sitting next to me and I told him that this touches everyone in the family, that my life is basically crap for a week, week and a half every stinking month. (I used a stronger word than stinking. lol)

There. I feel a bit better just getting it off my chest. Who in their right mind shares such intimate details on their blog? I'm half embarrassed to do so, but I don't have anyone in real life to discuss this with that is available this weekend.

Wah.