Random Tidbits

Sunday night, everyone is in bed but me.

I hate holidays. There, I said it. lol

It's going to be a very stressful week, and I'm already showing signs of it. We're taking my son to the doctor to discuss ADD. Any time we do something for my son, it pains me. It pains me because I love him so much and I don't want him to hurt. It pained me when he was diagnosed with epilepsy last summer. Now on medication, his thinking is clouded and his attention issues are at an all-time high. He's always had focus and attention issues, but meds, puberty, all that...it takes him 2 hours a day to do math. We are hopeful there is something to give him a better quality of life.

In 2002, we took him to an educational psychologist that specialized in gifted children. He was diagnosed as gifted but learning disabled, his disabilities were auditory processing disorder and processing speed disorder. So the poor kids has lots of things going on in his brain. He's as smart as a whip, but struggles with tasks. This is why we homeschool, as it was the recommendation of the psychologist. His public school teacher pulled me aside at the end of his last year in school and told me that she thought homeschooling would be the perfect fit for him. If you know anything about public school teachers, most are vehemently opposed to homeschooling. She did not know we had already made the decision to homeschool the next year.

Years ago when we had him tested, I was on Weight Watchers. I had lost 72 pounds. On our trip home, I bought a Snicker's bar at a gas station. I ate my emotions. The rest is history: I gained it back plus some.

I worry about high-stress events, because I get very emotional over my sweet boy. I worry about my resolve. This time, however, I'm doing it for my health and I get it. I'm finding a new normal, and a damned Snicker's bar isn't going to make anything better. This isn't quite as stressful or life-changing, but any time I deal with my son, every cell in my body hurts.

We also start our yearly standardized testing this week. Routine will be shot, and it's stressful because timed tests for him are murder. He does a great job every year, but it wipes him out. It wipes me out because I feel his stress.

I also have a very major project I need to get completed this week. I have to pay bills. My house needs cleaned. I didn't finish the laundry today. I didn't go to the grocery store tonight.

I can't find the paperwork I need for DS's appointment. I put it in a special file and I can't find the special file.

I am feeling overwhelmed.

Next Sunday is the first anniversary of my father's death.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to continue to search for the paperwork. Then I think we'll do something we never do: Go shopping during school hours. I need to get the groceries, because if I don't have them in the house, it will be too easy to order a pizza, go through a drive-through, or screw up. And I'm not setting myself up for failure.

Tomorrow afternoon we'll take two practice tests. We'll go through our review book, just like they do in the public schools. We're going to work ourselves into testing mode.

I was in a crabby mood all day, and I after writing this, I just realized why. I'm overwhelmed and stressed out.